“The Phoenix Potential” for Mind-Body-Spirit-Relationship Rebirth and Rejuvenation: Post-Traumatic Growth
Linked-In (LI) is proving to be a valuable networking resource. LI enables me to meet individuals, both virtually and f-2-f, whose interests, experience, and skills intersect, complement and, hopefully, synergize with my Stress Doc ™ bag of tools and tricks. One such individual, Mary C, has a passion for engaging with the subject of trauma, especially as it impacts children and families. She desires to organize a Trauma Symposium, with me (and others) as subject matter experts. As we brainstormed, there seemed to be a yin/yang fit. MC has a burning interest in childhood prevention and early intervention. Her passion motivated me to review the widely researched and practically robust concept of ACEs – Aversive Childhood Experiences. My experience and path helps adults deal with trauma in a variety of settings – e.g., today as an “Inner City” psychotherapist, as a former Stress and Violence Prevention Expert for the US Postal Service, as a Stress Resilience and Team Building Leadership Retreat Facilitator for the US Army, as a post-earthquake stress and trauma consultant for the Nepali diaspora community, as a public speaker and “Motivational Psychohumorist” ™, as well as Critical Incident Consultant for numerous companies and government agencies.
Not surprisingly, during this trauma review, I also connected with my conceptual and applied interest in stress resilience, loss and grief work, burnout prevention and recovery, 12-Step work, creative risk-taking, and “Post-Traumatic Growth.” In addition, I saw how my ten years as a “Crisis Intervention and Brief Therapy” Adjunct Professor at Tulane University in the ‘80s could prove value added for a program involving Post-Traumatic Stress to Post-Traumatic Growth!
So, without further ado, the Stress Doc’s Trauma Trio: essay, program blurb, and objectives outline/bullet points:
“The Phoenix Potential” for Mind-Body-Spirit-Relationship Rebirth and Rejuvenation: Stress, Trauma, and Crisis to Post-Traumatic Growth
Individual trauma results from an event, series of events, or set of circumstances experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life-threatening with lasting adverse effects on the individual's functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, and/or spiritual well-being. This is backed up by well-researched, empirical evidence: dramatic but especially persistent trauma throughout the life cycle is linked to adult mood disorders, self-sabotaging cognition, dysfunctional behavior, disrupted cognitive-emotional development, along with numerous other medical and mental health issues. However, this dangerous outcome is especially correlated with ACEs – Aversive Childhood Experiences. The ACEs survey identified 10 types of childhood trauma: five are personal – physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical neglect, and emotional neglect; five are related to other family members – a parent who's an alcoholic, a mother who's a victim of domestic violence, a family member in jail, a family member diagnosed with a mental illness, and the disappearance of a parent through divorce, death or abandonment. Further research has expanded ACEs trauma list to include racism, gender discrimination, witnessing a sibling being abused, witnessing violence outside the home, witnessing a father being abused by a mother, being bullied by a peer or adult, involvement with the foster care system, living in a war zone, living in an unsafe neighborhood, losing a family member to deportation, etc.
ACEs fall into three broad categories:
• Adverse childhood experiences
• Adverse community experiences
• Adverse climate experiences
The Adverse Childhood Experience Study (ACES) found that survivors of childhood trauma are up to 5,000 percent more likely to attempt suicide, have eating disorders, or become IV drug users.
An Intervention Paradigm
What is required is a life-cycle trauma-informed approached that incorporates the Four “R”s:
1. Realizes the widespread impact of trauma and understands potential paths for recovery
2. Recognizes the signs and symptoms of trauma in clients, families, staff, and others involved with the client-community systems
3. Responds by fully integrating knowledge about trauma into policies, procedures, and practices
4. Resists re-traumatization.
For example, a trauma-sensitive school prioritizes development of trusting relationships, teaches students (and staff) social and emotional skills, and addresses behavior with positive and compassionate approaches. It is a place where an ongoing, inquiry-based process allows for teamwork, coordination, creativity, and sharing of responsibility for all students. Support is focused on "what do you need" rather than "what is wrong with you?"
Can One Really Move from Post-Traumatic Grief to Growth?
Clearly many have had to grapple with some form or degree of “post-traumatic stress,” the aftermath of shock and hypervigilance, insult and invasion, loss and adversity with the many lingering, disruptive signs and symptoms of mind-body turmoil and breakdown. These complex Post-Traumatic Events not only endanger a basic sense of individual security and collective community, but may threaten or unravel a personal-social identity. Such trauma can challenge foundational belief systems. Assumptions and expectations about ourselves, our supportive circle, the surrounding world, about life or nature – human and otherwise – are being tested. Adding to the psychic injury, subterranean memories or, at least, the lurking emotions, further disorient as they surge to the forefront of consciousness. And nothing can be taken for granted; we must reexamine fundamental premises. We must entertain unprecedented survival, psychological, and existential-behavioral questions and patterns. And, of course, this reassessment or mind-body-moral inventory is the conceptual, psycho-spiritual, and creative bridge to new paths and possibilities.
“The Phoenix Potential” for Mind-Body-Spirit-Relationship Rejuvenation
So, in the midst of a “trauma/crisis crossroads,” how do you discover and design a psycho-spiritual bridge to new, growth-producing practices, paths, and possibilities? How can you become your own Phoenix rising from the ashes… and achieve such lofty goals as post-traumatic growth?
Ironically, it is just because our worldview, beliefs, and role-identities have been so profoundly shaken if not shattered by physical, but especially psychic-seismic upheaval, that reassessment or mind-body-spirit moral inventory is so critical. To stabilize a self shaken at its roots, we often must let go of comfortable and reassuring or stress-relieving habits even or, especially, addictions. These habitual, self-defeating patterns are familiar coping reactions that have become rigid and self-limiting; predictable habits and patterns have little adaptive value for new post-trauma reality. For trauma growth mode, ideally, eventually, we must learn to both explore wildly and fail fearlessly – “strive high and embrace failure” anyone? Consider the Stress Doc’s mantra: “Learn to Fail or Fail to Learn.” Or, initially, at least move – whether steadily or in fits and starts – out of that proverbial, “slowly choking the life out of you” comfort zone. Why? Simple… as an adult, habitual cognitive-emotive-behavioral patterns not courageously and thoroughly questioned have decided dysfunctional, self-constricting, “b.s. and s” – be safe and sorry – potential.
As I once penned:
For the Phoenix to rise from the ashes
One must know the pain
To transform the fire to burning desire!
Aware-ily Jump in Over Your Head… and Maybe Even Laugh Darkly… and Finally “Let Go”
Of course, letting go of the once predictable, seemingly safe, or familiar is scary; it may be heart-breaking if not terrifying. Yet, paradoxically, through support, grief work, and some healthy separation and detachment, we may explore and adapt novel or “nothing left to lose” perceptions, to consider unthinkable problem-solving ideas and strategies, to generate original ways of framing, defining and drawing on the traumatic, to be surprised by a capacity to “reach out,” if not amazed by our own courageous inner reserves. We may even learn to embrace and engage in “healing humor,” especially, the self-effacing variety; to eventually grieve and laugh both during and after the traumatic experience. (In fact, a doctoral dissertation reveals that many WW II Holocaust survivors attributed every day and darkly absurdist humor and social bantering as their chief means of surviving the daily horror.)
A more general formula between humor, hardiness, and healing is captured in Psychiatrist Ernst Kris’ observation:
What was once feared and is now mastered, is laughed at.
And as the Stress Doc inverted:
What was once feared and is now laughed at is no longer a master!
We may even realize the profound wisdom articulated by French-Algerian, Nobel-prize winning author, Albert Camus: Once we have accepted the fact of loss, we understand that the loved one obstructed a whole corner of the possible…pure now as a sky washed by rain. It is grappling with the grief process – shock, sadness, loss, anger, doubt and ambivalence, and existential angst, etc. – that often precedes and gradually nurtures (though not often on a predictable schedule), sustained rebuilding and rejuvenation.
Grief as the Ground for Healing and Growth
With sufficient support and time, by embracing the dark side of melancholy and mourning, a new season of light and rebirth imperceptibly yet magically often appears on the horizon. As penned by the Stress Doc: Whether the loss is a key person, a desired position, or a powerful illusion, each deserves the respect of a mourning. The pit in the stomach, the clenched fists and quivering jaw, the anguished sobs prove catalytic in time. In mystical fashion, like spring upon winter, the seeds of dissolution bear fruitful renewal.
You are now rebuilding from the ground up, pursuing unprecedented – and perhaps creative – pathways and opportunities. The poignancy and pregnancy of this “no exit challenge,” will present itself, especially if we understand “The Vital Lesson of the Stress Doc’s “Four ‘R’s”: We have invested so much time, energy, emotion, money, ego in that one special person, one right position or living space, one acceptable self-definition, only one possible outcome -- without achieving Results, Rewards, Recognition, and Relief -- and yet we can't say "No" and won't let go. The sad result: we have little awareness of what else lives inside us and what is conceivable outside us…and the evolving magical “transitional space” when boldly and imaginatively playing with and redesigning our inner and outer worlds. So, gradually “letting go” of habitual “safe” patterns, working hard to develop new mindsets and skillsets, may be the crisis – danger and opportunity – crossroads for Post-Traumatic Growth.
Hopeful Close
Finally, as noted by Scott Barry Kaufman and Carolyn Gegoire, Wired to Create: Understanding the Mysteries of the Creative Mind, Perigee: Penguin Random House; New York, 2015, “Growth after trauma can take a number of different forms, including a greater appreciation for life, the identification of new possibilities for one’s life, more satisfying interpersonal relationships (and partnerships, including increased empathy and altruism), a richer spiritual life, and a connection to something greater than oneself, (along with) a sense of personal strength.” Amen and women, to that!
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“The Phoenix Potential” for Mind-Body-Spirit-Relationship Rebirth and Rejuvenation: Stress, Trauma and Crisis to Post-Traumatic Growth
The health and educational fields are increasingly realizing that trauma throughout the life cycle, especially Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), underlie most mind-body-spirit-relationship health conditions: stress reactions, chronic illness, including mental illness, a variety of addictions, physical and sexual abuse; in addition, ACEs are at the root of most violence.
Discover the ten types of ACEs childhood trauma, plus traumatic factors that frequently occur outside the home/family environment. Begin to make personal psycho-social connections to these trauma dynamics. Discover how chronic stress and trauma may well have left an imprint on your life, both as a personal burden and as a source of challenge, inspiration and new life pathways. Actually, “hitting bottom” or being at a crisis crossroads, with the right support, persistence, and patience may provide a precious opportunity for Grieving and Growing from the Past…Embracing the Present…Envisioning and Designing the Future.
Through the team’s Get FIT – FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking – programs, you will learn how the streams of trauma and crisis, loss and grief come together to form a powerful (even though initially disruptive) challenging and healing river of hope. And when this river flows through us internally and in our social environments we are laying a foundation for health-giving and empowerment, that is, for Post-Traumatic Growth. In the beginning, we must: a) immerse ourselves in the stages of loss, b) confront our “Grief Ghosts,” c) understand the differences between grief and depression as well as between “Feeling Sorry for Yourself” and “Feeling Your Sorrow,” d) confront our outmoded self-defeating behaviors and addictions, e) have joy and sorrow dance together; transform pain into passion, f) and embrace the “danger” and “opportunity” of crisis.
Open and courageous exploration generate a new head-heart-spirit work space. And when you add the Stress Doc’s Creative Risk-Taking Model and Tool Kit, his Six “R”s of Burnout Recovery, the stress resilience and brain agility formula for Natural SPEED, and “healing and higher power humor”… Post-Traumatic Growth is now the proverbial light. And this light may build to a passionate fire, a trailblazing fire that spreads from the individual to the family, from the school or workplace to the larger community. Are you ready to feel the heat and spread the light?
So, seek the Higher Power of Stress Doc Humor: May the Farce Be with You!
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“The Phoenix Potential” for Mind-Body-Spirit-Relationship Rebirth and Rejuvenation
A. Trauma, ACEs, and Post-Traumatic Stress Overview
1. Defining and Differentiating Types and Sources of Trauma: The Danger of Hypervigilance or living in a red alert mode for months or years
2. ACEs – Aversive Childhood Experiences – research, survey, questionnaire, mind-body health and neuro-cognitive development issues; ACEs cause much of our burden of stress reactions, chronic disease, most mental illness, and are at the root of most violence
3. Impact of ACEs in the workplace – absenteeism, substance abuse, bullying and harassment, healthcare costs, etc.
4. Four “R”s of Trauma-Informed Care
B. Post-Traumatic Stress, Growth (PTG) and Crisis Crossroad
1. Discover Types of Stress, Personal Stress Smoke Signals, and the Stages of Burnout
2. Definitions of PTG and Crisis – danger and opportunity – Crossroads
3. Understand and Apply the Crisis Sequence
4. How trauma and crisis set the stage for PTG
C. Crisis, Loss, and Grief: The Foundation for Healing and Growing
1. Understand and analyze the Multifaceted (and necessary) Nature of Loss and Grief, the Grief Process, and the Stages of Grief including Shock, Denial, Rage, Helplessness, Guilt, Ambivalence, etc.
2. Identify Unfinished Grieving and “Grief Ghosts”; strategies to safely address and resolve buried emotions and unmet needs
3. Work on Core Issues including shame, anger, and guilt; transform self-sabotaging thought patterns through self-compassion, healthy anger, courageous conversations, and emotional integration
4. Understand and Manage Anxiety and Depression; learn to differentiate loss, grief, and depression; Difference between “Feeling Sorry for Yourself” and “Feeling Your Sorrow”
D. Crisis, Grief and Post-Traumatic Growth
1. How does grief set the stage for Post-Traumatic Growth?; creating a space for grief and growth; capacity for Relaxed Attention, being Focused & Fluid, Passionate and Contemplative, having Detached Involvement
2. Engage in Acclaimed Relaxation-Visualization Exercise
3. Sudden Leaping vs. Incremental Growing; The Five Stages of Creative Risk-Taking
4. Psychological Hardiness, Stress Doc’s Natural SPEED Formula for Stress Resiliency and Brain Agility, and the Six “R”s of Burnout Recovery
E. Post-Traumatic Growth: From Personal and Professional to Family and Community
1. Survivors Start-up Guide (Hitting Re-set): Grieving and Growing from the Past. Embracing the Present. Envisioning and Designing the Future
2. Courageously Sharing One’s Grief-Growth Process both as team/family member and leader; becoming a “Tough ‘n Tender” – TnT – Communicator
3. What have we learned; what will we take away?
4. Designing a plan to sustain Post-Traumatic Growth
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Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker, popular webinar educator, writer, and "Motivational Psychohumorist" ™. Mark is a founding partner and Stress Resilience and Trauma Debriefing Consultant for the Nepali Diaspora Behavioral Health & Wellness Initiative and is a Cross-Cultural Diversity Training Speaker & Consultant for numerous Federal Agencies. The Doc is also a Leadership and Life Coach as well as a Clinical Therapist for Inner City Family Services, Washington, DC. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, he has led numerous Pre-Deployment Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for the US Army. Presently, Mark does Cross Cultural Facilitation and Presentations for organizational/corporate clients of HR Consulting Firm PRM. The Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Preserving Human Touch in a High-Tech World. Mark’s award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info, email: stressdoc@aol.com.