Pick-Up Line
Photo: TalkSpace

Pick-Up Line

Several weeks ago there was a LinkedIn post that, for me, triggered a deep visceral reaction.

It was posted by a man sharing a story about selecting and purchasing a new vehicle.

The author was sharing this personal story to draw parallels to a business lesson. In this case, one about using emotion supported by logic to influence a buyer’s decision.

In short stokes, the author wanted a sports car or a pick-up truck.  His wife didn’t want either. She preferred an SUV that would be more practical for children’s car seats.  Alas, there wasn’t a single SUV or sedan to be found in all the land that he liked.

As the story went, the author concluded that a sports car didn’t make sense, so the pick-up truck became his goal.  He described how he set out to use his wife’s emotion around the decision to get what he wanted.  He endeavored to increase her emotional investment against the sports car to push her into a “logical” decision – the pick-up he wanted.

He told his wife that he needed the pick-up to haul things from Home Depot, parenthetically admitting that he’s never hauled anything in his life.  Then confessed that he “had” to have the pick-up because he wanted the baddest truck on the planet so he could "look cool and get compliments." (his words, not mine)

In closing (following the tie-in to a lesson in sales) he shares that he used education, not manipulation to convince his wife to get the truck he wanted and that it definitely was not about getting his way. 

On the upside for his wife,however, her friends apparently all tell her that her husband has a nice truck.

So there's that.

I shared the post with a few other people to gut check my reaction and all of them (male and female) had a similar reaction to mine which was that the author was dismissive of his wife’s point of view, manipulated her into supporting what he wanted, and seems to think it’s all okay because her friends think he has a cool truck. 

When you boil it down to basics, that is.

Now. There are a lot of unknowns here, however, it has been my experience in life (and in sales) that the most important thing you can do is listen to what other people say, really hearing what it is that is important to them and put that at the center of your actions.  If your priorities and theirs are not in alignment, then talk about it – openly and honestly, giving everyone a voice. 

Using someone’s emotions to get what you want is, no matter how you try to spin it, manipulation.

I think what I most reacted to in this particular post was the author’s seeming complete disregard for his wife, from minimizing what was important to her, to his myopic view that it’s all okay because her friends think he has a cool truck and his admission that the only reason he wanted the pick-up was so he could get compliments. 

That all just feels yukky to me. And by yukky, I mean disrespectful and selfish.

We all see things through the lens of our lived experience.  That’s the easy part.

The hard part, and most importantly, is learning how to see things through the lens of others, embracing their perspective and letting that inform the decisions we make – in life and in sales.

 

Ann Kowal Smith

Founder & CEO of Reflection Point | Forbes Contributor | Doctorate in Management | Champion of Stories that Connect Us

2mo

"The hard part, and most importantly, is learning how to see things through the lens of others, embracing their perspective and letting that inform the decisions we make – in life and in sales." Agree 100%! It's the hard part because the important things can be hard - but worth it! Thanks Stacy!

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