The Pillars of a Modern Leader: How I learnt to become a leader by looking at the leaders in my life Part 1: My Music Teacher
Brian Zhang 👻
Ghostwriter for music founders and CEOS on LinkedIn Sharing my journey with depression, burnout and anxiety to help 230+ musicians build mental fitness and resilience
In 2022, when I launched my first significant venture, I sought advice from three business mentors about the most crucial leadership aspect.
It’s noteworthy that all my mentors were in their mid-40s and 50s. They belonged to an era when businesses prioritized survival and profits.
While their achievements are commendable (after all, one doesn’t build a successful business without expertise, regardless of the era), they failed to demonstrate a leadership style relevant to our current generation.
The world is rapidly evolving on three fundamental levels:
When building my team, I asked myself:
“What kind of leader do I want to be?”
I divided a journal page into two. On one side, I listed books I intended to read and renowned leaders from diverse fields to study, including Phil Jackson (Chicago Bulls’ coach), Bob Hawke (former Australian Prime Minister), and Steve Waugh (former Australian Cricket Captain).
On the other side, I noted people who had imparted my most valuable life lessons:
While it was straightforward to list the traits that defined the careers of Phil Jackson, Bob Hawke, and Steve Waugh, I faced a problem — I couldn’t relate to them on a personal level, for I had never met them.
However, when I reflected on my life, the answers became evident.
My high school teacher, university teacher, and most importantly, my father had witnessed my growth from a young troublemaker to the person I am today.
They knew my personality through and through — my strengths, flaws, motivations, and passions. I realized that turning to them for advice would provide me with genuine experience and memories to shape my leadership style.
Recognizing that my high school music teacher, my university jazz ensemble instructor, and most importantly, my Dad had watched me transform from a rambunctious youth into the adult I am today, I realized they understood my personality in a way few others did.
They knew my strengths, my weaknesses, what drives me, and what I’m passionate about. As I turned to them for advice, I began to understand that their insights were drawn from genuine experiences and memories, memories that were intertwined with my own life story. These were the people who had shaped me, and as I looked ahead, I realized it was their influence that would guide the development of my leadership style.
Over the next three blogs, I want to share with you the three most significant qualities these influential figures in my life taught me, and how they have shaped my approach to leadership, starting with my high school music teacher
Rising to the Occasion: Leadership in Times of Need
In my final year of high school, my life was spiralling downwards.
My mother spent most of the year in hospital, my father had to shut down one of his businesses, and I was drowning under the weight of assignments and exams.
Moreover, I was diagnosed with depression.
From that moment on, I found myself pulling away from my friends, withdrawing from activities I used to relish, and eventually becoming a shadow of my former self.
One particular afternoon, I found myself alone, a solitary figure in the corner of a concrete shelter at school.
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It was then that my music teacher approached me. She asked if everything was okay, to which I responded with a nonchalant:
“Yes, all good”.
Yet, she saw through the facade. She put aside her teacher’s role, tapped into her motherly instincts, and gently asked again,
“Are you really okay, Brian?”
That was the first time anyone had asked me that question with such genuine concern.
Something within me prompted me to drop my guard and admit that I was struggling. Without a moment’s hesitation, she invited me to her home for dinner later that week. She proposed a plan to not only get back on track with my schoolwork but also address what was going on at home.
That moment has remained etched in my memory.
It taught me that leadership extends beyond mere instructions and job completion.
My dinner with my music teacher stands as one of the most significant moments of my school years. She shared a story that continues to awe me to this day.
“The journey of a leaf encapsulates the beauty of all four seasons.
As Spring breathes life, it unfolds into a vibrant green petal, forming the backbone of the tree, offering shelter to a myriad of birds, insects, and critters, and exhaling oxygen for us to breathe.
It basks in its prime during the Summer, flourishing under the sun’s kiss. However, as Autumn draws near, it embarks on a graceful descent towards the Earth.
One might perceive this as a harbinger of doom for the leaf, yet it is in this phase that it reveals its final majestic display, transforming into a palette of radiant red, warm yellow, and brilliant orange.
It doesn’t plummet abruptly to the ground but dances in the air, allowing the wind to guide its journey.
As it eventually meets the Earth, it doesn’t crash but tenderly embraces it, lying in stillness, and gradually melding its colourful hues into a harmonious brown”
After sharing this profound story, she seamlessly tied its message to our conversation, providing reassurance and guidance by saying:
“Remember, Brian, every chapter in life has a starting point and a conclusion. When you embarked on your school journey six years ago, your cheeky, troublesome demeanour was tinged with the vibrant energy of youth — a vitality that has fueled your success throughout these years. However, much like the leaf in Autumn, you’re currently undergoing a challenging transition, and your hues are changing. Despite the difficulties you’re facing, it’s crucial to endure, for this phase, too, will pass. Once it does, you’ll discover strength and courage within you that you never knew existed. I am so proud of the young man you’ve become and the person you will continue to grow into”.
Reflections on the Power of Empathy in the Modern Era
To this day, whenever the opportunity arises, I offer my hand to any one of my colleagues and students when they are doing it tough, to know that I am there for them to help them guide them through challenges beyond the workplace.
In the modern era, we find ourselves surrounded by an extraordinarily bright and innovative generation, filled with enthralling minds that are writing the future. However, there is a barrier that threatens to halt their progress — a lack of guidance and empathy. This void often leads to confusion, contributing to escalating rates of mental health issues and loneliness.
As leaders, we’re not expected to become therapists or psychologists.
But we must move beyond the outdated mindset of ignoring the needs of our colleagues and insisting on “getting the job done at all costs”. The times have changed, and so must our approach to leadership.
Reflecting on my journey, it was my high school music teacher who stepped in during one of my darkest hours, preventing me from falling into a deeper abyss.
Her guidance and reassurance not only ignited a ray of hope when I desperately needed it but also steered me onto the right path. Her influence has been so profound that it informs my leadership style even today. Whenever I see a colleague or student struggling, I extend my support, assuring them that they are not alone in their trials and tribulations.
I aim to guide them through challenges that extend beyond the confines of the workplace.