The Place Where Change Happens

If you want to make a change but you feel fearful, indecisive, or stuck it's because you are in a state of resistance.

When you're in a state of resistance you try too hard. You tell yourself that you don't "know how" to do something you want to do. You seek extreme clarity before taking action.

There is a place where change happens and it isn't through clarity, hard work or knowing how. The place where change happens is "willingness." I call this state "The Fulcrum Point of Change" and I talk about it in every book I've ever authored.

In fact, there's an entire chapter on resistance in From Conflict to Courage. Resistance is the non-acceptance of what is, and the unwillingness to consider another choice.

If you are stuck in bad relationship it's because there's a lack of willingness. The lack of willingness to leave, to have a difficult conversation or to take a risk to ask for more.

If you're stuck in a job you hate, there's a lack of willingness to admit the truth, to try something new, to put together a new plan, to talk to your boss.

If your employees aren't "performing" there's a lack of willingness somewhere. You think it's their lack of willingness, but it's yours. You aren't willing to have that difficult conversation, or you aren't willing to follow through and create an accountable culture.

If you can't attract or retain talent there's a lack of willingness somewhere. You aren't willing to develop leaders; you aren't willing to offer additional resources, or you aren't willing to think outside the box.

What You Need to Know

If you are stuck in any area of your life there's a lack of willingness somewhere. Only you know what you're resisting. (I can almost guarantee that what you need to be willing to do is something outside of your comfort zone. )

We often fool ourselves into thinking we're making positive change, when in fact we are doing what's comfortable, for example offering a workshop to the whole group instead of having an honest conversation with that one employee. We offer DISC, Strength Finder and KOLBY assessments to figure people out rather than risk being curious and honest.

Or we use planning, strategizing and working hard to prove that we're trying.

Here's the unvarnished truth that will set you free: You can plan, you can gain clarity, you can work hard, but nothing happens until there's willingness.

The question is this: What do you need to be willing to think, be, or do for change to happen?