Play to Your Strengths: Focusing on What Makes You Thrive
North Star Blueprints - Daily Insights (September 16 - September 20, 2024)

Play to Your Strengths: Focusing on What Makes You Thrive

Welcome to the 31st edition of North Star Blueprints! In this weekly newsletter, we embark on a journey of personal and professional growth, offering observations, strategies, and inspiration to help you navigate life's challenges and reach new heights of success. This edition will provide a summary of the daily insights I posted throughout the week, packed with valuable tips, thought-provoking ideas, and actionable advice on how to show your work as opposed to just telling it, focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses, the power of asking questions, how to handle criticism, and the importance of managing your own and your team's time efficiently, in the hopes of helping you to unleash your better self.


September 16: Don't Tell Me What to Do. Show Me How You Did It!

I recently attended a workshop where the presenter emphasized that people don’t want to be told what to do, they want to hear how you did it. From personal experience I can confirm this approach – having been posting daily insights here on LinkedIn for the last 8 months, the most successful ones were always the ones that had a personal story in the introduction.

It’s a fundamental aspect of human psychology - stories are how we relate, learn, and connect. When we’re told what to do, it feels prescriptive, as if our individual circumstances are being overlooked. But when someone shares how they did something, it opens a window to their experience, their challenges, and their successes. It feels personal, relatable, and it sparks curiosity. You’re no longer just giving advice, you’re creating a narrative that allows the listener to step into your shoes, making it easier for them to apply what they hear to their own journey.

Storytelling has a way of lowering defenses. Instead of being seen as a lecturer or authority figure, you become a fellow traveler on the same path. When you share how you overcame a challenge or navigated a decision, you provide more than just direction… You offer context, nuance, and emotion. It’s through these stories that people find their own inspiration and make their own decisions, rather than simply following orders. Stories invite people in, giving them room to interpret and adapt what they hear to their own lives. This is the essence of influence: not by telling people what to do, but by showing them how it can be done.


September 17: Sharpen Your Strengths. The Advice That Changed My Career

Almost a decade ago, I sat down for my first interview at Deloitte. Like most interviews, I was asked the classic question: “What are your strengths and weaknesses?” I had a well-rehearsed answer, having aced this question in past interviews. As I walked my interviewer through my strengths, it felt like I was nailing it. But when I started talking about my weaknesses, something felt off. I gave three examples of areas I was actively working to improve, convinced that demonstrating my self-awareness and commitment to growth was the right approach. But then, my interviewer said something I hadn’t heard before.

“You gave me examples of weaknesses you're trying to convert into strengths,” she said, “but maybe they’re not meant to be your strengths. Maybe instead of spending time fixing them, you should focus on sharpening your strengths even more and let someone else on your team, for whom these are strengths, handle your weaker areas.”

That simple comment shifted my perspective. While some weaknesses, like public speaking in my case back then, were essential to overcome in my chosen career path, not every flaw needs to be fixed. Time is finite, and rather than spreading yourself thin trying to be great at everything, the real power lies in deepening your strengths and complementing your weaknesses with people whose skills naturally fill in the gaps. It's a reminder to be intentional with where we focus our energy, aiming to become the best version of ourselves, instead of an idealized version of perfection.

My First Interview

September 18: The Power of Asking "Why?"

Earlier this year, as part of my work with clients in the digital transformation space, I was tasked with leading a large project for a client that wanted to overhaul its legacy systems. It was a high-stakes engagement — the kind of project that could define the trajectory of their business for the next decade. As we dug into the details, we encountered an obstacle. The client insisted on sticking with certain outdated processes, quoting a familiar sentence: "That's the way it’s always been done."

It seemed non-negotiable. The client was adamant, and the team was reluctant to challenge them. However, if it’s a successful transformation we’re looking for, then this could not be the end of the conversation. So, I scheduled a meeting with the key stakeholders and decided to push back, not with force, but with curiosity. I asked, “Why do we have to do it this way? What if there’s a better option?”

Initially, the room was quiet. The client’s team had simply accepted that this was how things were done. But as the conversation unfolded, it became clear that many of their processes were rooted in decisions made years ago — decisions that no longer aligned with the modern direction they wanted to take, and made by individuals who were no longer even working there. With a bit of persistence and a fresh perspective, we began to explore alternatives. It wasn’t long before we identified an entirely new approach that not only improved efficiency but saved the client significant costs in the long run.

What seems set in stone was actually just a matter of perception. Too often, we accept things as they are simply because they've always been that way. But when you start asking questions and pushing boundaries, you discover that change is always possible.

The lesson is simple: never assume that something is untouchable or non-negotiable. The world moves forward because people are willing to challenge the status quo. And sometimes, all it takes is one question "Why?" to break the mold.


September 19: If You Can't Handle Criticism, You're Not Ready for Success

“Who the hell do you think you are?! Get out of my office right now!”

As you rise through the ranks, feedback becomes more direct, client expectations intensify, internal pressures build up, and difficult decisions must be made swiftly. Often, emotions can run high, whether it’s a challenging client questioning your judgment or perhaps it’s navigating internal politics within your firm. In such moments, the ability to stay resilient, not take things personally, and focus on the bigger picture is what sets successful professionals apart.

I recall a situation where I presented a major project update to senior leadership. I have done extensive research and spent multiple long nights putting together a thorough plan, but during the meeting, a key stakeholder started criticizing several aspects of my idea, questioning whether I even understand their vision at all. Instead of taking it personally, I realized that their feedback was coming from a place of frustration rather than the specific slides presented at that moment. Keeping my composure, I engaged with their concerns, demonstrating that I could adapt to their needs. The result? We adjusted the plan and delivered a stronger project, which was ultimately a success.

Developing thick skin is about building emotional resilience in the face of criticism, rejection, or tough feedback — something that is crucial in both professional and personal life. It’s not about being indifferent or dismissing feedback, but about learning how to process criticism without letting it derail your confidence or self-worth. In high-stakes environments, thick skin enables you to remain composed, turn challenges into opportunities for growth, and make better decisions under pressure. It allows you to separate your ego from the situation, and focus on the task at hand. It’s not an easy trait to develop as it requires practice under fire, but if you commit to it, you will not only learn to protect your mental and emotional well-being but also improve your ability to lead, adapt, and thrive in the long run.

Methods for Developing Thick Skin

September 20: Less Talk, More Action. You Don't Need Another Meeting.

Another day of back-to-back meetings from 9-5? Calendar so packed that you barely have any time to step away and eat lunch? Ad-hoc sessions scheduled, taking whatever little free time you have to do actual work? That’s the unfortunate reality of many corporate jobs today, and it’s not getting better.

We’ve all been there — our calendars packed with so many meetings which leaves very little time for actual work. And while these meetings can be productive, there’s a growing tendency to schedule them unnecessarily when a simple message or a quick call would suffice. The truth is, not everything needs to be discussed in a formal meeting, and too many meetings will slow down decision-making and productivity.

For years I've been hearing complaints from team members, clients, friends, and just about everyone else how they are caught in a cycle of endless meetings. This has to end. We're all at fault for continuing this trend, and change must start within. Have you ever considered how expensive the meetings you set are? every 30 minutes taken away from an individual still costs the company or client money. A meeting with 20 people for an hour, can easily cost $10-20k. If it were your money, would you still book it?

The takeaway? Before scheduling another meeting, ask yourself if the issue can be resolved with a message or quick direct call only to the required individual(s). Meetings have their place, but over-scheduling them can bog down progress and waste time. Don’t let meetings become a default — be intentional about how you use your time and others'. You can be part of the change to reduce unnecessary meetings, and can create more space for real work.


Thank you for joining me on this journey of growth and discovery. I hope these insights illuminate your path forward as you pursue your aspirations with purpose and determination. See you in next week's edition!


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