Please Don't Tell Me How Lucky I Am...

Note: This is a repost from 2016.

My dad died two weeks ago.

Please don’t tell me how lucky I am.

Please don’t tell me how lucky I am that he died suddenly. Yes, I am glad that I did not have to see him suffer. But I never had the chance to say goodbye. To him, or to my mom and uncle two years ago. He was dead, alone, for almost a week. And no one even knew.

Please don’t tell me that I am lucky that my sister will soon have a baby, bringing joy to the family in a time of sadness. Yes, I am looking forward to meeting her baby. But her having to give birth to a child, for a second time, just weeks after losing a parent is simply unfathomable. And yet, it is somehow true.

Please don’t tell me that I am lucky to have children, to help keep my mind off of my pain. Yes, they certainly keep me busy. But seeing their own pain at the loss of their last grandparent is almost more than I can bear.

Please just tell me that you are sorry that we are going through this again… so soon… so young.

Please do not just sweep my pain under the rug and suggest that I just focus on the positives in my life to make everything better. The positives do not make losing a parent any less painful.

They will, with time, make their loss easier to bear. But not today.

It is too soon.

Please, let me have time with my pain.

Even if it makes you uncomfortable.

Lindsay Lapaquette works with leaders and team who want to unlock the secrets to stress-free communication for more invested employees. Her clinical background as a former Speech-Language Pathologist and her work with First Nations organizations have led to a holistic, client-centered, analytical approach to improving communication. 

Lindsay’s work has been profoundly influenced by her experience as a parent to two children who have pervasive mental health challenges, as well as the premature loss of both of her parents. These experiences have contributed to Lindsay’s passion in helping others shrink their reactive zone so as to attain stress-free communication.

To learn more about Lindsay’s keynotes, workshops and consultations, visit lindsaylapaquette.com