The Power of Agreement in Building a Lasting Relationship.

A lady met me after Sunday service and said, 'Ma I would like to share something with you,' I said okay.

She said that her husband told the mother to leave their house because she's bringing so many problems in their marriage. 

She told the husband that her mother cannot go back to the village because she will be alone and it is not good for her health. Also, she needs company and people to talk with so she won't have high blood pressure as a result of loneliness and worry. But the husband refused. 

She said, 'I can't live without my mother and if my husband insists on her leaving, I will carry my child and leave also.' I couldn't believe my ears.

I asked her several questions, and from her answers I discovered that it was poor agreement between both partners during courtship that led to this.

Agreement is a very powerful tool in building a lasting relationship.

Many problems people are facing in relationships today are as a result of poor agreement. Dating time is not just a time for flexing, taking pictures, and love talks. Rather it is a time to plan about things that will make your marriage stand out, talk about your likes and dislikes. 

The reason why some men stop their wives from pursuing a career in marriage is because of poor agreement.

You plan before marriage and not in marriage. This is because lack of agreement, adequate planning, and setting of boundaries during courtship can cause havoc in marriage.

Some areas to agree on before venturing into marriage are; 

• Career: Discussing your career, the kind of jobs you should do, how to manage your career and family etc. is essential before venturing into marriage.

Let your partner understand you and your vision. This will help you know whether your partner is interested in supporting your dreams or not.

Also, find out what your partner is doing, analyze it and check whether you're okay with it before getting married. Some men spend more time traveling because of the nature of their job. You hardly see them at home, sometimes they spend twice or four times in a month at home. Also, some men want a full-time house wife. Therefore, before getting married to him ask yourself whether you are ready for such, discuss with him and reach a consensus.

• Residence: Choice of residence has caused havoc in many homes. Husband and wife living in different locations because of job has made lots of children lack proper parental care.

Agreeing on where to reside helps to foster unity and togetherness in marriage. Also, some men want to live in their parents' house while the lady may not like the idea no matter how conducive the place is. Here, you share views, agree, and disagree when necessary. This will help to strike balance and proper planning before marriage.

• Children: Agreeing on the number of children you want to have during marriage is essential. 

Here you pray and plan towards it. Stop giving birth to children you cannot take good care of. 

Your children should be a blessing to you and not a burden.

Don't bring them to this world and let them go through hard times, pains, or join bad gangs due to poor parental care and planning.

• Religion: During courtship, it is very important that both parties, especially those that are not of the same religion, agree on a particular religion to settle with.

Remember, family that prays together, sticks together. Also, it helps in building oneness, harmony, peace, and answers to prayers.

Agreement is essential if you must have a lasting marriage relationship.