Power of Assuming Positive Intent: Lessons from a Cold War Lunch

It is often said that "assuming" makes an "a*s" out of "u" and "me". This may be true in a lot of situations, however I beg to differ from this cheeky statement when it comes to assuming positive intent as a leader.

As leaders, we often find ourselves in challenging conversations where tensions run high. In these moments, assuming positive intent can be a game-changer. It's not just about being optimistic; it's a powerful tool for reframing conversations and building bridges.

I recently read this historical anecdote in an HBR article:

In 1984, British PM Margaret Thatcher hosted Soviet official Mikhail Gorbachev for a lunch that quickly turned tense as Thatcher expressed her disdain for communism. The atmosphere grew strained, leading to a momentary rift. However, Gorbachev, recognizing the significance of the meeting, chose to assume positive intent.

Instead of escalating the argument, Gorbachev reframed the situation. He emphasized shared principles, assuring Thatcher that he wasn't there to recruit her to communism. This unexpected twist brought laughter and broke the tension. The pivotal lunch at Chequers became a turning point in the Cold War, convincing Thatcher and U.S. President Reagan that Gorbachev was a cooperative leader.

This episode teaches us three essential lessons on assuming positive intent:

Pause and Reflect: In the heat of a disagreement, take a moment to pause. Reflect on the other person's perspective and intentions. Consider that their actions may be driven by different motivations than you initially assumed.        

Seek Common Ground: Look for shared principles or goals that can serve as common ground. Emphasize these shared values to build a connection and foster understanding. Gorbachev's focus on common principles helped shift the conversation away from conflict.        

Communicate Openly: Foster open communication by expressing your intentions clearly. Gorbachev's assurance to Thatcher that he wasn't there to convert her created a space for dialogue. Be transparent about your goals and motives to avoid misunderstandings.        

Assuming positive intent is not just a mindset; it's a leadership skill that can transform relationships and drive collaboration. By reframing conversations, we can create a foundation for cooperation and build meaningful connections, just as Gorbachev did during that pivotal lunch at Chequers.

I would love to hear your experiences and thoughts on the topic.