Powerful Women Influence Others

I'm on a mission to propel more women lawyers to power positions where they can have more control over their careers, compensation, and courage. Today, we talk about influencing others.

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In the Star Wars movies, Obi-Wan Kenobi used Jedi mind tricks to convince others of his position and to follow him. Unfortunately, the Force is not strong for many of us, so we must rely on traditional influencing techniques. Most powerful women leverage these techniques to demonstrate vision-building leadership and promotability. Influencing others is critical to be a trusted advisor, a senior leader, and a sought-after attorney. Here are some of my insider secrets to becoming an influential leader.

Insider Secret 1: Build Trust 

To influence people, they need to trust you. Only when someone trusts you are they open to your influence. Whether you are a peer, subordinate, or senior to a person, you can only influence someone when they believe in you and trust you. 

One way to cultivate this is through consistency. People need to know what to expect to trust and be influenced by you. If your behavior is haphazard, it is more challenging to build trust. 

When you are unpredictable, people do not know whether to trust or deny your suggestions.

Being personal also helps cement trust. A little personality goes a long way, especially when trying to build workplace influence. This is especially important when you're in a higher position, as a boss or a supervisor. Suppose you isolate yourself or try to build your perceived authority by distancing yourself from others. In that case, it might only alienate you and put you in a position where colleagues view you with distrust or resentment.

One executive I performed a 360-degree feedback review for was shocked that much of the feedback from his business partners was the lack of personal relationship building. His lack of interaction greatly impacted how he was perceived and how they viewed his advice. They told me that only at one meeting did he show any interest in revealing himself, and that was the most effective he had been. 

Insider Secret 2: Be Assertive, Not Aggressive

Being assertive is the only way to get your ideas noticed, especially when competing with others for visibility, such as in a meeting. However, there's a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. You'll need to present your thoughts and ideas with high confidence, indicating your convictions. Remember, someone could mistake excessive confidence for needless arrogance, compromising your perceived authority.  

To be influenced, people want to be convinced and believe they made an independent decision. You will not have the same engagement or buy-in if they feel forced or bullied into a position. 

Personal working relationships are essential for cultivating a sense of team. If people see you as another person on the team, they'll be more receptive when you disclose your ideas or opinions. The key here is to seem imperfect, approachable, and human.

Insider Secret 3. Be Open to Others' Views

Finally, remember that influence is a two-way street. The more you believe in the people around you and incorporate their ideas into your vision, the more they'll believe in your ideas and incorporate them into their work habits. If you want to build this kind of relationship with your co-workers and employees, you must first listen. Listen to everyone's opinion, and encourage people to speak up, especially if they don't often voice their opinions. Take time to respect and acknowledge everybody's opinion, and let people know that you value them. You must understand everyone's perspective and objectives to reach the most effective outcome.

You want to become curious about what is influencing their thinking. One of the most effective ways to do this is to ask open-ended questions when others take a different view or stance from you. By understanding and asking questions, you will learn more to craft a more optimal solution and know what areas could convince others to join your view. 

Influential leaders are sought after because they get exceptional results. These results are because people who influence seek information that will lead to better solutions. Investing in increasing your influence will lead to a significant impact. When you affect people rather than tell them what to do, you achieve greater buy-in and engagement, leading to more effective implementation. 

What more insights?

• If you want to be recognized for your leadership check out this article where I share the 7 Steps to Leap from In-House Technician to Legal Leader.
• Unlock your path to rainmaker success. Transform your business development with a calendar of actionable steps and strategic insights tailored to accelerate your client cultivation with my Business Development Booster Checklist. Download it here.

Sheila is the CEO of Focus Forward Consulting. She helps intelligent and accomplished women lawyers go from uncertain and uninspired to unstoppable and attain power positions where they have greater control of their careers, compensation, and courage.