A Psychotherapist's experience of Treatment-Resistant Depression

In 1999 as a Psychology student I read that Depression could also be understood as 'learned-helplessness', this stayed with me.

As someone with personal experience of depression I have tried peeling my layers, searching for 'learned helplessness', where it's origins began and questioned which life experiences may have reinforced it. All the time not being completely comfortable with the description.

I guess depression is individual, but for me, it often feels like an intensely felt dark cloud pressing on my mind, my stomach and my emotions. It can feel so oppressive that I can barely endure it and getting to the end of the day is a supreme victory.

As a trainee Transpersonal Psychotherapist I sat with many clients who suffered with depression and I was very surprised when I learned that their depression was not a final destination. In fact it felt more of a blanket of defence, guarding hidden trauma.

The process of sitting with and following a client through their blanket of depression and witnessing their hidden pain, is one I will never forget. In fact those moments felt sacred and the intense pain coupled with the joy of clarity that at last they had found truth, a landing place for all their pain. That was the moment the possibility of recovery began to be imagined.

As a three-month premature baby spending months in an incubator my learned helplessness? Or was it the two-year period of weekend-only visits from Mum in my early infancy?

Mental Wellbeing is a topic that is bantered around and it's progress to see teams of MHFA's sign-posting and supporting our workforces. The EAP's are trying to find ways to engage more deeply in organisations and #Digitaltherapeutics are trying to fill the gap between those in need and providers. I love to see progress like this, as long as it leads to that Therapist Client experience, which is unique, where two people go on a non-directive journey together, not experienced in any other relationship.

I still say we need a Psychotherapist in every school and in every organisation.