The Puer Aeternos: Collective Infantilization and Maturation Towards Purpose

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

— Carl Gustav Jung

First and foremost, if you're reading or listening to this article, I want to extend my sincerest acknowledgment and gratitude to you! My articles often delve into complexity, serving as a means for me to comprehend and articulate my ideas for the world. This process isn't always effortless for me. Often I write with the assumption that few take the time to go through these rabbit wholes.

However, as my subscriber list grows each month, I find myself deeply thankful for all my readers.

With that being said, my previous article exploring system behavior and jungian psychology sparked an incredibly engaging conversation with a jungian analyst who has over a decade of experience in analysis and teaching at the university level.

Together, we had a couple of sessions delving into the parallels between the emergence of complexity in various ecosystems, the comprehension of their feedback loops, and the striking similarity of these dynamics to Jung's propositions regarding the workings of the psyche.

We both recognized that the intersection of these topics was far too intriguing to be confined to our individual thoughts. Thus, we made the decision to collaborate on creating a course centered around this theme. The aim of this course is to equip individuals operating in diverse spheres — psychologists, educators, entrepreneurs, innovators — with the necessary skills to continually zoom in on the specific dynamics of the individual psyche, while also zooming out to observe the collective movements and emergent behaviors that shape our reality.

Stay tuned for further updates!

THE PUER AETERNOS

Last year was one of the most challenging years of my life. I'm accustomed to overcoming challenges through careful planning and strategic action. However, the difficulties life presented me with last year were not ones I could simply power through. I had to surrender to the circumstances and engage in deep introspection to understand what was required of me.

I’ll spare you the details, but I found that, paradoxically — as someone who loves complexity — the variables of my life became too intricate for me to handle without risking falling apart. As I guided myself through the process of dissolving my previous identity and coagulating the new emergent me, I realized that I had to willingly enter a process of descent into chaos and expand my capacity to hold it.

Moreover, and perhaps the most challenging aspect, I realized that the time had come for me to undergo a sacrifice and willingly let go of a part of my ego that had been holding me hostage and paralyzed.

Here’s a quote from Alice’s Miller “The drama of the gifted child”:

"In order to become whole we must try, in a long process, to discover our own personal truth, a truth that may cause pain before giving us a new sphere of freedom. If we choose instead to content ourselves with intellectual “wisdom,” we will remain in the sphere of illusion and self-deception.”

From a very young age, I believed I was exceptionally special. I relied on my intellect to validate this belief. With this illusion, I also subconsciously felt that life owed me something and that I would always come out on top in any situation I encountered. However, that's not the case.

Being artistically inclined, this inflated perception of myself fueled the vibrant creative energy that has enriched my life over the years. Yet, I failed to grasp that I was as ordinary as most people, and like everyone else, life would demand from me the constraints of choice and sacrifice.

Living with boundless possibilities regarding what or who one can become is undeniably inspiring and uplifting. I loved that!

And, without being firmly rooted in reality and taking action, and making sacrifices when necessary, it can easily become an unfulfilled prophecy, wrapped in New Age fluffiness.

As a coach, I find myself redefining my values and aspirations for what I want my professional life to embody.

Through my own journey of ego dissolution and personal growth, I've come to the painful realization that the hollow promises of contemporary spiritual teachings propagated through social media — amongst other types of propaganda, porn, infinite pleasure seeking, broken families, gender limbos etc — are significantly contributing to the collective archetype of the Peter Pan syndrome. This syndrome cultivates a state of perpetual adolescence and dependence on external forces.

Jung described this archetype as the Puer Aeternos or Puella Aeterna — the eternal child-god. In Jungian psychology, this term is used to depict an individual, usually older in age, whose emotional development remains stagnant at an adolescent level.

The child-god behaves as if life unfolds without constraints, boundaries, compromises, or sacrifices. Similar to Peter Pan, who resides in Neverland, where he never has to grow up, individuals embodying this archetype find themselves trapped in a world of whimsical desires and a life left only partially realized.

Someone consumed by the Puer Aeternus archetype lives in fear of being trapped in a situation from which they believe they cannot escape.

This fear stems from their inner psychic world, as they are already trapped in circumstances they cannot break free from. They may falsely believe they cherish their "independence”, yet they are far from experiencing genuine freedom. Instead, they feel disdain for boundaries and limitations because of their own internal chaos and lack of structure.

Jungian analyst Marie-Louise von Franz elaborated on this, stating:

"[They have] a kind of false individualism, namely that, being something special, one has no need to adapt, for that would be impossible for such a hidden genius.”

The Puer shies away from applying discipline, evades responsibility, hesitates to fully commit to a relationship, and avoids the discomforts inherent in learning and development. Yet, all these attributes of mature adulthood demand the establishment and preservation of boundaries.

A significant portion of porn addiction could potentially also be attributed to this Don Juan Syndrome. The man possessed by the Puer Aeternus archetype is perpetually on a quest to find the perfect woman — an idealized figure who doesn't truly exist and whom he can never commit to as a wife. Instead, outlets such as pornography, encounters with real-life prostitutes, or brief "flings" provide a safe environment for the Don Juan figure to sample various women without facing the prospect of commitment.

The Puer Aeternus understands that adult life calls, but it’s just too much to ask. It’s not just about being eternally youthful, it’s about the fear of entrapment, rules, and all the commitments often found in a meaningful adult life.

There's a yearning not to be restrained, not to be ensnared by regulations — a longing for unbridled freedom. However, this desire lacks the impetus and dedication required to construct something that could genuinely bestow freedom. Transitioning into adulthood is a developmental hurdle like any other, one that offers its own form of liberation.

But this transformation will not occur autonomously.

In my research for this article, I found this provocative paper by Mats Winther that goes deeper into the topic and explores its edges. Here’s an excerpt from it:

The puer aeternus (eternal youth) is an archetypal image of mythology. It also denotes a neurotic condition during which the maturational process is arrested. It depends on an incapability of taking root in life. In the present era the condition has reached epidemic proportions. In order to understand present-day societal and political changes, it is necessary to get a grasp of the “Peter Pan syndrome”, well- known to psychotherapists.

The increase in Peter Pan syndrome indicates that a substantial and expanding portion of the population is psychologically arrested in development.

The ethical foundations of civilization erode and diminish as the objective of the child-god is to pursue pleasure and evade pain. If left unchecked, widespread Puer Aeternus fosters hedonism, leading society into a downward spiral of degeneration.

Although individuals possessed by the Puer Aeternus archetype yearn for "freedom," they are already enslaved.

Consequently, they seek the State to "nurture" them and dictate their beliefs.

INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBILITY, COLLECTIVE MATURATION

The Puer archetype can be perceived as representing potential, while its opposite, the Senex, embodies experience and the wisdom that should accompany it. This polarity is essential for personal growth, where the challenge lies in acquiring wisdom without sacrificing potential.

On a broader societal scale, the Puer archetype symbolizes change and the embrace of progress, while the Senex represents the accumulated wisdom of a culture manifested in laws and institutions.

As the saying goes, "If you spot it, you got it."

This complex is largely unconscious and manifests as a recurring pattern of dissatisfaction, an inflated perception of one's own genius, and a detachment from reality.

What I am observing now is that a developmental gap is unmistakable in many individuals from all walks of life. Deep down, there’s a paralyzing fear of committing to something truly demanding — whether it be marriage, parenting, personal growth, long-term financial planning — stemming from either a perception of inadequacy or a fear of engulfment.

This fear often also manifests as an inability to fully experience emotions, leading to a tendency to suppression or dissociation from them. As a coping mechanism, individuals may escape into fantasy and resort to addiction as a fleeting distraction from confronting their underlying fears and insecurities.

This dynamic culminates in a form of neurosis known as the "provisional life."

It entails constantly living in a state of anticipation, where there's a persistent fantasy that the "real thing" will materialize sometime in the future. This inner refusal to fully commit oneself to the present moment perpetuates a cycle of unfulfilled expectations and a perpetual longing for something beyond reach.

All things considered, the Puer Aeternus archetype embodies a vibrant energy of creation, symbolizing newness, potential for growth, and hope for the future. However, I firmly believe that our culture often exploits this immaturity by perpetuating messages that encourage the constant pursuit of pleasure.

Whether through social media, food indulgence, gaming, substance use, or delving into spiritual fantasies, these influences can reinforce a cycle of immature behavior and hinder true personal development.

The issue with polarizing too heavily into any one archetype is that, unconsciously, a contrasting opposing force arises to compensate for the imbalance within the collective system. This means that if a significant portion of the population succumbs to procrastination of responsibility and becomes possessed by impulsive whims, another force of extreme structure — tyranny — is inevitably invited into play, often in the form of government or state intervention.

Likewise, if individuals are too busy with pursuing pleasures and fail to anchor themselves in values, commitments, and a solid vision for the future, decisions may be made for them, just like parents make decisions for children due to their inability to assert themselves.

Navigating the complexities of the Puer Aeternus archetype and its impact on personal and societal development requires a balance between embracing the energy of creation and confronting the responsibilities of adulthood. This confrontation brings forth a crucial realization: for something to be genuinely embodied and manifested as a legacy, sacrifices must be made. Countless potential possibilities must be relinquished, choices must be deliberated, and segments of a potential future must be excised.

On the other side of this journey, cathedrals of meaning and fulfillment can be erected through wisdom, maturity, and true freedom.

By acknowledging and honoring both the youthful spirit of creation and the wisdom  from experience and heritage, we can pave the way for a more harmonious and prosperous future for ourselves and for generations to come.

But then one might wonder, when does adulthood truly begin? Is it when we leave our parents' house, when we marry, or when we become parents ourselves?

I don’t know.

This question has crossed my mind multiple times in recent months. I now believe that it may actually begin when we consciously choose to step into it and willingly accept the responsibility of bearing our own cross, whatever that might be for each particular individual. There’s a voice in the back of your mind that knows the answer, for sure.

(My personal cross has been finances — I’m still in the process of learning how to properly manage them.)

By embracing the necessary losses and confronting the weight of adulthood, sacrifice, and commitment to something greater than ourselves, we may possibly have the opportunity to acknowledge the existential pain of not being special, and instead, a significant part of a much larger ecosystem that demands personal responsibility in every aspect of our lives.

I believe that aiming high as individuals, and committing to being the best possible version of ourselves in every aspect plays a vital role in creating a more meaningful and harmonious world for everyone.

A world where we can take pride in the choices we've made along the way and the lessons that have shaped us into the adults that younger generations can rely on, trust, and look up to as role models.

INNOVATION & SYSTEMS THINKING

In the meantime, if you're a systems thinking enthusiast, I'm launching my very first online course on innovation and systems thinking!

This inaugural edition will be taught in Portuguese. Throughout the course, we'll explore what complexity is, why we sometimes struggle to deal with it, and how a systemic perspective can assist us in understanding and navigating projects in complex ecosystems.

Students will learn about feedback loops, how to map complex systems, recognize system archetypes, and apply systemic thinking to innovation projects in products and services.

This course is aimed at professionals and leaders interested in developing holistic thinking skills and understanding how to navigate complexity to drive sustainable innovation in their fields.

So if this resonates with you and you're a Portuguese speaker, join us! I believe any deep thinker would benefit from this course.

[More editions will follow in English.]