PULLING THE PLUG

I know I’ve been away from those of you who were following my newsletter. 

 I have been recovering from food poisoning.  I’ve since been recovering (and catching up) on what now seem like very very long to-do lists and tasks

Here is my story and the lessons learned. 

I stared at the white porcelain wall that turned out to be the side of my toilet. I was lying on the floor of my bathroom having lost all control of my body. I had passed out. 

It was as if someone had literally pulled the drain plug (get it?) on my life energy and left me with nothing.

I tried sitting up but collapsed back to the floor. I had no energy and no control.   

It felt like a thousand angry little demons stabbing my insides with white-hot daggers.  

I cleared the fog out of my head and remembered I was engaged in an epic battle for survival.  

My brain became  a haze of past memories, future dreams as I drifted in and out of consciousness.  I was nothing but a curled up meat sack trying to survive. 

I had never been this sick in my life.

ADULT VS CHILDHOOD

I had discovered first-hand,  when you are really sick, as an adult, no one cares if you’re ill.  

If anything I felt I was worthy of rebuke.  I couldn’t be ill when I had responsibilities.  This was not allowed.

When I compared the sickness episodes of my childhood versus adulthood I preferred childhood.

Back then the adults would all gather around and provide medically inadvisable treatments like breathing deeply,  stroking my hair,  telling me everything would be OK. 

The worst I had to worry about was the rectal thermometer my father threatened to use on me.  

Now in adult land every conversation seemed to be marred by not so subtle shades of guilt. 

Not that there were many conversations at all unless you count the ones that I had with myself.

It was like being stuck in an Ayahuasca journey, an out of body experience where the mundane of life became a kaleidoscope.  The universe preached so I could find my true self in the visions of the divine mother

I preferred my actual Ayahuasca journeys.  At least I knew when they were going to end. 

NEVER EAT FROZEN CRAB

I got food poisoning at a restaurant in Northern Thailand that served Alaska king crab. I should have been suspicious because Alaska King Crab is a cold water fish.  And I was in Thailand.  

They couldn't show me a live crab.  Instead they brought out a plate of frozen cabs and cooked them. 

I had contracted an insidious case of bacteria found in shellfish.  

It was two weeks before I could eat anything and keep it down.  The thing I had to come to grips with was I had lost control of my body.   I couldn’t sit up in bed for a week. 

Since I couldn’t write or do much of anything I lay in bed and took mental notes about what I learned about life from this. 

Most of the time food poisoning is the result of negligence in one way or another.  I was not paying attention. 

WHICH DREAM IS MOST IMPORTANT

I lost all momentum in my business and my life.  All my productivity apps and tools became irrelevant in an instant. None of it mattered.

When you aren’t able to get everything done you have to pick. 

If you just could do only one thing a day, what would it be?  Which dream is your most important? 

I know I have been making the mistake of saying yes to too many things.

I was not practicing Self Awareness.

FIVE LESSONS LEARNED

1. CONTROL IS AN ILLUSION

We cannot control the events in our life.  We can only control our interpretation.  When we cannot control what our bodies do, surrender. Let go.

2. WE NEED TO BE MORE KIND TO OURSELVES

Learning to read my body within these constraints has gifted me a new appreciation for it, which is something I took for granted for too many years. Now instead of treating it like an enemy that I need to overcome, I treat it like a friend. I’m not allowed to take advantage of it, and I need to be honest when I’m communicating with it.

3. IT’S OKAY TO TAKE REGULAR BREAKS

Instead of plugging away at my desk for hours and getting lost on social media, I set a timer on my computer to remind me to physically remove myself from the screen. I stretch and connect with my dog or family.

4. WE NEED TO BE HONEST ABOUT OUR LIMITATIONS 

Limitations aren't a weakness. I used to pride myself as someone who can push through anything. My younger self would say I had no limitations.

5. WE NEED TO REMEMBER WHO LOVES US WHEN WE ARE AT OUR LOWEST

These are the ones who truly love you unconditionally. The ones who love you at your lowest do so because by loving all of you, the good the bad and the ugly, and this is the way to full acceptance both of yourself and anyone else. To be loved like this heals your soul. Take a look and see who in your life would be selfless and love you unconditionally

MY NEW CORE VALUES

Health is Wealth:

Health isn't something to be taken for granted. No matter how busy life gets, prioritizing your well-being is crucial. A healthy body is the foundation for everything else you want to achieve. Practice Mindful Eating

Eating with a degree of attention to your experience may initially seem cumbersome or frustrating, but with time you’ll appreciate a richer, more satisfying eating experience. 

Cherish the Simple Moments:

When you're lying on the bathroom floor, the simple pleasures—like a calm stomach, a good meal, or a peaceful night's sleep—become incredibly precious. Appreciate these everyday blessings because they truly matter.

Loved Ones Matter Most:

In times of crisis, it's the people who care about you that make the difference. Their support, whether through a comforting word or a helpful hand, is invaluable. Make time for the ones you love and show them you care.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff:

Life’s minor annoyances seem trivial when you're fighting to stay well. Let go of petty grievances and focus on what truly matters. Life is too short to spend on unnecessary stress.

Live Mindfully:

Nearly dying from food poisoning taught me the importance of living in the moment. Savor your meals, enjoy your surroundings, and be present. Mindful living brings a deeper appreciation for life and its fleeting beauty. 

So I apologize to you dear readers.  I will stop beating myself up and get  back on track with my newsletter.  

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