The Pursuit of Happiness?

Introduction

The pursuit of happiness … the American dream … truth be told, probably the dream of most of the world. So why do so few people seem happy? If happiness is the pursuit of so many, should it not be easier to secure? Why is this desire of most people so elusive?

Let me suggest one simple thought that you may or may not agree with; however, I ask you at least hear me out. What if happiness, for the long-term, is not achievable? What if it is merely an illusion that fools us all because we have those moments, those memories, those extended periods of unescapable or unexplainable happiness? Happiness exists tis true, but the pursuit exhausts far more our time than what we experience in real happiness.

What if happiness is not really the answer or thing to be pursued? What else could it be if not happiness and what is the difference? This four-part article seeks to answer these questions and replace the pursuit of happiness with a different word, another thought, a deeper desire … Contentment. 

On the surface, this may sound the same or similar, but in reality, these two things are very different and this article will help unlock that truth. Even more than being different, they are also opposite in this respect: while happiness can be experienced in short-terms but is elusive in the long-term, contentment can only be achieved in the long-term. Short-term contentment is really momentary happiness disguising itself as something deeper.

Each point in the process of discovering contentment is rooted in a decision to be made. These decisions come from a heart willingly to walk in relationship with Jesus Christ. God desires to be the author of your story and mine. The pursuit of happiness leads us to grab the pen from His hand and do our own writing. The journey to contentment keeps the pen in the hand of God and follows the path and design He lays out for us.

With that said, we will begin this article. Each of the four decisions will appear individually over the next few weeks. This will hopefully bring you back to read more, but it will, more importantly, give you opportunity to reflect and consider each point.

Decision #1: I Will Live Confidently

There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.

Philippians 1:6 (The Message Bible)

“If we are trying to help people establish their identities, find meaning in their lives and seek to meet their needs without Christ, then we need to know that is precisely the agenda of Satan on planet earth.” 

Neil T. Anderson, Helping Others Find Freedom In Christ

“True confidence is not what I think about me; it is what I know about God.”

Glenn D. Carver

Confidence has never been a characteristic that has come easy for me growing up. As a red-haired little boy with many freckles in a sea of blond and brown headed kids, I was carrot-top, freckle-face, and Opie (I looked a lot like him). I was never very strong or tough, was an average athlete, and an average student. I had good friends, some popular and some not so much. I was well-liked by some but not really a popular kid. I got along well with most kids but also had a few who just made fun of me. In all of this I was a very sensitive boy who took every comment and action of others (good and bad) to heart and personalized them even when there was no need to. Confidence was not a character trait I understood. Even when I had success at something, I was easily discouraged by a disapproving comment or the reality of someone else who may be better at the same activity or ability, thus seeing my success in a less favorable light.

As you can well imagine, carrying this perspective of self and life into adulthood did not make for an easy road. Far too many times it was easier for me to recognize my failure or at least imperfection than to be grateful and thankful with who I am and what God is doing in my life. As a result, I have spent far too much of my adult years trying to earn the recognition and approval of others (which never comes) and far too little time recognizing who I am in Christ. The saddest part of this story is that I am not alone. I have served in pastoral ministry for twenty years, as well as another twenty years in a wide variety of other professions. At this writing, I currently serve as the Executive Director/CEO for a Domestic Violence Center and operate my own Coaching and Consulting business. In all these opportunities, I am increasingly discovering that many, if not most, of the people I meet, Christians included, struggle with similar identity crisis in their lives. What do we do? How do we effectively change this in our lives as followers of Jesus? How does contentment become a daily reality in our lives?

The answer does not rest with one’s self. As a matter of fact, our problem is that for too long we have looked for contentment within ourselves and in what we can accomplish or possess. This is the wrong place and wrong way to discover the contentment and confidence that is available to us. Steve Brown in his book, Jumping Hurdles, puts it this way, “Finding your significance and identity is not something that is discovered by looking at oneself. You must look outside, to the One who made you. He knows you inside out, and He loves you unconditionally.” And Rick Warren, in his best-selling book, The Purpose Driven Life, says, “It is only in God that we discover our origin, our identity, our meaning, our purpose, our significance, and our destiny. Every other path leads to a dead end.”

The Apostle Paul in Philippians chapter 1 is, in essence, saying the same thing. He says that for you to live with contentment as a significant part of your life you must make some decisions. To live a life of contentment you must first choose to live confidently. This confidence, however, is not rooted in who you are or what you are doing or have done. It is a confidence that is rooted in God and His work within you. “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6 (NASB)

Over one million British television viewers were shocked as they watched professional knife thrower Jayde Hanson "nick" the head of his female assistant. A spokeswoman for the live television show commented: "You don't really expect that kind of thing from a world record-holder."

The 23-year-old Hanson began his career by throwing his mother's kitchen knives when he was 10. He had been attempting to repeat the pace of his world record-breaking effort of 120 knives thrown in two minutes. "In 11 years of performing, I've only hit my assistant on five occasions," he told a local newspaper recently.

Like Hanson, no matter how much we strive for perfection, we too will miss the mark.

"Knife Thrower Slices Assistant on Live TV," (4-10-03); submitted by Jerry De Luca, Montreal West, Quebec

Who in this story had the greater confidence? The knife thrower, Jayde Hanson, with his years of experience and success, or his unnamed assistant who willingly and faithfully stood still as Mr. Hanson hurled knives in the direction of her head?

God is certainly not throwing knives at us but our enemies are (the Bible identifies three enemies of the Christian – the world, the flesh, and the devil). Living confidently is a decision that requires you to but your full trust in God, believing that the work He has begun in your life will be a work that He will complete. For you to possess this type of confidence there are two things you must be very clear about.

Recognize the work of God in your life

The first is that you would recognize the work of God in your life. Too many go through life never recognizing God at all. The only time some of them even acknowledge God is when they are in great need and want something or when they are angry at God and decide to blame Him for the bad things they are experiencing. I can assure you that a life lived apart from God is no life at all. Although a person without Christ in her life may appear very self-confident, her mind races with insecurity, fear, and doubt. On occasion, a person without Christ may experience happiness, but it is always temporary and contentment alludes her. Living confidently means living a life centered in the work of God and by faith believing that God never starts something that He will not finish.

Several years ago, I built my own home for my family. Now, I am no carpenter. If not for the help of several friends who volunteered their time and talents, I would still be building the place. Being poor as we were at the time, we were anxious to get in as soon as possible. I completed as much as I could and at the first opportunity, we moved in. As you might have guessed, the house was not finished completely when we moved in, and when we moved out four years later, it was still not finished. Working on the house while living in it and working around three young children was not an easy task. As a matter of fact, it was easier to just put it off – so I did. All the time I was thinking sincerely, I’ll finish it one of these days when the kids are a bit older. As I have talked with others, I have discovered that this story is not unique to me. It is however not anything like the way God operates. God never starts what He cannot and will not finish. And God’s greatest work is in you and in me. God delights in beginning a work in your life, but He will take even greater delight when His work is complete. He will not quit; He will not even put the job on hold until He has completed it. 

Today as you sit to read this are you able to recognize the work of God in your life? Are you the same person you were a year ago or has He been doing a work that you have taken for granted? Acknowledge His work in you; thank Him for it; take confidence that He promises to keep working until the job is done.

If you on the other hand do not see any work of God in your life, perhaps it is because you have never given Him the opportunity to start. Maybe you have been running your own life and been trusting in your own abilities. Today can be the day of your salvation. You can ask God to begin His work in you by recognizing His love and His work to bring you salvation. God the Father sent His only Son (Jesus) to live, die, and rise again from the dead to pay the debt of your sin. When you believe on Him and call upon Him, the Bible says that God comes in, gives life, and begins His good work in you. Will you trust Him today?

John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”

And Jesus said, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.”  (John 14:6 – NASB)

Simply pray this prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for sending Your Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for my sins. I acknowledge that I have sinned and that I cannot save myself. I believe that Jesus came to give me life, and by faith I now choose to receive You into my life as my Lord and Savior. By the power of Your indwelling presence enable me to be the person You created me to be. Help me to trust You to finish Your work in me. Thank You for saving me! In Jesus’ precious name I pray. Amen.

In addition to recognizing the work of God in your life to live confidently which leads to contentment, there is a second thing you need to be clear about.

Realize what really matters in this life

In Philippians 1:9-10 (NLT), the Apostle Paul identifies a few things that really matter as we live this life. Paul identifies these by sharing with these Christians he is writing to that he is praying for them concerning these areas of life. “I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return.”

Where and on what I focus my mind is very important. There is a key principle here: What I have and what I desire reveals my character and how I see myself. Proverbs 23:7a speaks to the power of a man’s thoughts, “For as he thinks within himself, so he is.” (NASB). God desires that I would know and experience His love in a life transforming way within my own life. While it is very important for me to recognize the work of God and not put confidence in myself, it is also important to focus my mind on God’s love. This life is temporary and holds little lasting value. As a matter of fact, the only value this life offers are found in God’s love and the only lasting value to be produced through me is in God’s love being poured out through me into the lives of others. It is because of God’s love Jesus came; it is for love that Jesus died on the cross; it was the power of God’s love that raised Christ from the dead; it is by love that I can be saved; and it is because of love that I can love others. Living this out with confidence requires humility on my part. Humility is the key ingredient to live confidently. I must fix my thoughts on God’s love, grow in the knowledge and understanding of it, and discover its transforming power in my life. 

Focusing on God’s love will change what is held dear and considered to be worth treasuring. But make no mistake, where one chooses to focus his thoughts and actions will reveal what he chooses to treasure most in his life. Jesus said, “Wherever your treasure is, there your heart and thoughts will also be.” Matthew 6:21(NLT) True confidence is not what I think about me; it is what I know about God. Confident living that leads to contentment comes as a result of knowing who I am in Christ.

We discuss further in latter chapters the importance of focused thinking as it relates to contentment and the process of renewing our minds that leads to transformation. It is this mindset that leads to better understanding who I am in Christ. As this chapter closes and we wrestle with the decision to live confidently, may the words of Hebrews 13:5-6 (NASB) be an encouragement: “Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,” so that we confidently say, “THE LORD IS MY HELPER, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT WILL MAN DO TO ME?”

My confidence will never lead to true contentment apart from Christ and the work of God in me. Confidence is knowing I have a God who is personal and loves me personally. Confidence is knowing I have a God who is at work within me to transform my mind and develop me to be more like Christ in what I do. Confidence is knowing that I have been made whole through the shed blood of Christ that paid my debt of sin, and as a result the Holy Spirit is at work within me to help me live out practically the life I have been given. Confidence is knowing that as a child of God I am also a person of worth and God the Father sees me through the eyes of forgiveness, grace, and mercy, because the blood of Christ has cleansed me from ALL my sin.

Having this confidence and choosing to live in it will be the first decision and step to living contentedly. Contentment because I can begin to see and understand that my responsibility is not in the results. My responsibility rests in being confident of the work of God and being obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit within me. When I choose to live confidently that God is the author and finisher of my faith and choose to be obedient to His work within me, I discover what God has planned and purposed for me is far greater than anything I could want or accomplish for myself.

Jesus talked to His disciples about a father having love for his son and wanting only the best for him. Jesus went on to ask them how much more their Heavenly Father loved them and wanted only the best for them.

Your life may not be easy and it may not be free of troubles and challenges, mine is not either. However, this I know to be true: when we are confident in the work of God and choose to live in that confidence, we discover more and more the work of God within us that is ever working and always for our best. Sometimes we will only see this when we stop and reflect. Other times God will allow our eyes to be open to see His work as it is taking place. In all of this, be confident that God will never give up on His work within you until it is complete. Choose to live confidently knowing this!

Decision # 2: I Will Live Purposefully

“For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better.” 

Philippians 1:20, 21 (NLT)

“Live your life for an audience of One!”

Rick Warren

When I started my business, Burden Bearing Consulting & Coaching, on a full-time basis a few years back, I had the privilege to work with a group of young leaders in a boat building manufacturing company. The focus of this training over several weeks was, Finding My Mission, helping them to understand the importance of having a purpose for life and how to develop it into a mission statement to live by. As we walked through this process, it became evident to me how few knew the value of living on purpose. Sadly, even those who recognize the value never take the time to develop that purpose in their lives in such a way that it directs their steps. As a result, I have found the vast majority of people live life reacting to what happens rather than living with mission in mind. Discontent is the norm and contentment is a forgotten desire. Without purposeful living, contentment is a fantasy at best. Happiness may be present on occasions as circumstance give rise to it but contentment eludes the mind.

The apostle Paul knew the value of living on purpose; it was in fact what sustained him at times as the circumstances of life became almost unbearable at worst and undesirable at best. Paul had experienced times of great success as we would consider success and he also went through times of great peril and difficulty. Remember, at this particular time of writing, he is incarcerated. Yet, whatever circumstances Paul finds himself in, one thing remains; his purpose and focus for living is singular and consistent. As such, Paul never worries of tomorrow or the outcome of what may come for which he has no control. He sincerely believes whatever the outcome it is his responsibility to live by a singular purpose … ”For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better.” Why is dying better? Is Paul suicidal? No! It is because Paul knows that being absent from this body is to be present with the Lord. When he dies, he will be with Jesus. Until then, it is his singular focus to live for Jesus. He is purposed to represent Jesus in the world, make Jesus known, and point others to Jesus in all that he does.

“To be a passionate and compassionate servant of God who points others to Jesus, lives my life for many, and gives my life for a few through abundant relationships”

Many years ago, I established this personal mission statement for my life. It hangs on the wall in my office and is written in other places as a constant reminder. While I did not fully know the challenge of living by it when I wrote it and while I have had times of losing sight of it, this mission has served me many times in helping me make decisions and direct my steps based on the Holy Spirit’s leading. This mission has guided me in saying yes to opportunities and no to others. Some decisions have been difficult and without this mission before me, I would have probably taken the easiest path not the best one. Sometimes I faced opposition from those who cared for me but did not understand, because they were seeing a decision from a different perspective. They could not fully understand my purpose because it was mine and not theirs. My mission helped me move forward with conviction and courage in these situations and many times, over time, opposition turned to support.

Do you know your mission? Have you established a clear God-given direction for your life that will carry you through the good times and the bad? Do you have a singular purpose that will provide clarity when decisions are tough? Sometimes the choice is not between good and bad; those are often the easy ones even when we choose the bad. We kind of knew in those times what choice we should be making but just want what we want. The tougher decisions are the ones between good and better, or even tougher, better and best. These are the ones that often get the opposition from those we love because we may be going against their desire. Mission can be a valuable tool in these times and may ultimately be the difference between happy for a moment and contentment ongoing.

There is a key principle that is important to understand as we seek to establish and live by purpose. That principle is this: Living on purpose leading to contentment requires wisdom from God. Proverbs 1:7 puts it this way, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

Without the wisdom of God, we will develop a purpose for life that is rooted in pride and selfish gain, ultimately leading us away from God not toward Him. God establishes deep within us His plans and purposes for us, but without His wisdom and understanding we cannot develop these purposes to contentment. “A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of understanding draws it out.” Proverbs 20:5. Without God’s wisdom, we fall short and get caught by happiness because of the fleshly desire for instant gratification.

As Rick Warren says, “Live your life for an audience of One!” When I do this, it keeps me focused on Who I am living life for, which makes living life with a singular purpose, focused on Jesus, possible. God’s wisdom directs me to my need for Him while His love reminds me of His wonderful design for my life, and between these two things, I discover contentment.

How can I know if I am living with this singular purpose established through wisdom from God? Living purposefully is revealed in my obedience to the Laws of God. I may just have lost a few of you thinking this is suddenly about doing good works to be good enough to earn God’s love. Stay with me; what I am referring to is deeper than the superficial lies that we can earn our salvation through good works. Jesus said that all the law and the prophets teaching can be summed up in the singular focus of LOVE.  And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:37-40

Love the Lord your God

This is not an in-depth study of what it means to love God, but there are four ways in which we demonstrate and grow our love of God. We will take a quick look at these four areas. I encourage you to let this be the beginning of study and practical exploration for yourself on what loving God means for you personally. This is an exploration the Holy Spirit would delight in leading you on should you make it a personal pursuit.

1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart ... with the heart we seek God. The heart speaks of our desires and passions. When we live with the purpose of loving God, our desires and passions are transformed to match the desires and passions God designed for us. When our mission is rooted in self, our passions are for selfish gain and fleshly desire. The more we grow and our mission reflects a singular focus on living for Christ, our desires and passions will find us first seeking the things of God. Jeremiah 29:11-13 tells us, “’For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.’”

In a fallen world where we face the constant pulls of the world desires, the passions of the flesh, and the attacks of an enemy in the Devil who seeks our destruction, developing a heart that loves God is a daily battle. These enemies of our heart are more than we can fight on our own in our brokenness. Our dependence, strength, and guidance must come from the work of God within us. Having a mission and purpose that aligns with the purpose of God for us will help quiet the noise and hear the voice of the Holy Spirit within.

The world can be like a tornado, that when close, sounds like an oncoming freight train, leaving us hiding in a windowless closest in fear waiting for the storm to hit. The world delights in our fear with no intention of reducing it but seeks to see it increase.

The flesh continually pulls at our heart to take God-given passions and turn them to selfish fantasies and fetishes in hope of finding happiness through money, power, sexual desire, fame, and prideful immediate gratification of want. While the flesh comes at us like a group of friends cheering us on and seemingly wanting what is best, they ultimately leave us sitting in the silence of shame, guilt, fear of being seen, and empty, rather than satisfied or fulfilled. We find ourselves clinging to whatever holds a moment of pleasure in our minds and desperately, hopelessly, searching for that moment and feeling again and again.

Love for God can lead us back to the place God had always purposed and designed for us. It is His intention we would discover through purposeful living the true passions of the heart God established within us that brings contentment and brings glory to the God who uniquely designed and created us with purpose.

The Devil is an enemy we are afraid to even talk about or recognize much of the time. We fear we will give him more power and attention than he deserves. In reality, our silence of this enemy is exactly what gives him the power to wreak havoc and bring destruction like a wildfire that seems innocent at first until it is raging out of control. The Devil’s primary goal is to dishonor and mock the Creator (his Creator by the way). Satan, once a bright shining angel of God has no other purpose but to mock this very God who gave him such beauty. As such, his attack is on the very thing that matters most to God, Love and love for His Creation, His children. By attacking our love for God, the Devil attacks God directly. God is love and we have been created in His imagine to reflect that love. Satan’s attacks degrade that love, diminish that love, diffuse that love, and destroy that love.

Love for God is the only true weapon we possess against such an enemy. Not only does Satan hate it, but love for God puts real love back into proper place and perspective in all the ways it shows up in our lives. Our love for God can grow when it becomes purpose. The love of God will transform the love we experience in meaningful relations, in love for or work and passions, in love for our enemies, and in love for the purpose of God for our lives. “We love because He first loved us.”

While my enemies of loving God with all my heart are loud, disrespectful, and disruptive, the Holy Spirit comes in a quiet voice seeking those who will stop and listen. The Holy Spirit wants to shine a bright light on the purpose God has designed me for. He lightens the path to purpose making it easy to follow and leading to a heart that deeply and sincerely loves God. The Holy Spirit teaches me how to love God, honor Him, and bring Him delight. Purposeful living will quiet the noise around me and provide a healthy environment for me to listen to the still, small voice within.

2. Love the Lord your God with all your soul ... with the soul we pursue God. Loving God with my soul speaks of where I continuously place my faith and trust. Discipleship is costly and demands my faith and my trust. What I often fail to understand is that discipleship wherever it may be placed will demand my faith and trust. It should not be a surprise that being a disciple of Jesus will also require my faith and trust. Mark 8:34-38 says, And He summoned the crowd with His disciples, and said to them, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul? For what will a man give in exchange for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.”

We live in a world where everyone likes to think of themselves as independent, free-thinking, and their own god to some degree. However, it is not hard to see we are all disciples (followers) of someone, something, or some idea. There is so much proof of this. Social media is all about getting the attention and approval of someone or a group of someones, this is a form of discipleship. The famous drive our purchases. The wealthy don our attention and lust. Things become more important than people. Our careers take the place of our family. Evidence upon evidence reveal we are pursuing what we believe will bring wealth, recognition, power, and happiness, yet all these pursuits ultimately turn out to be empty and meaningless, and many times even alone.

The cost of discipleship is high. No matter who or what we choose to follow, the Bible warns that all pursuits come at a cost, even the pursuit to love God has a price. It is for this reason, Jesus warned and encouraged His disciples to count the cost. When we fail to count the cost, we become unprepared for what will be and tend to drift into fear. Faith or fear are both by-products of our pursuits, but they are an either-or result. Pursuit rooted in loving God will lead to a growing faith, deeper understanding of purpose, and experienced contentment. Pursuit of any other person, idea, or thing will lead to growing fear of what cannot be controlled, confusion and lack of meaningful purpose, and an endless pursuit for happiness that is continuously fleeting.

Loving God with all my soul does not guarantee ease, but it does provide purpose. Loving God with all my soul does not promise lack of struggle, but it does promise strength, peace, and direction through the struggle. Loving God with all my soul does not promise happiness throughout life, but it does produce contentment in any and all circumstances knowing the purpose is greater than the moment.

Even though the cost of discipleship is high, the most amazing, wonderful news, however, is that when my faith and trust is in pursuing Jesus Christ, I find comfort and peace. Jesus tells me, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

3. Love the Lord your God with all your mind … with the mind we know God. Loving God with all your mind speaks of your personal growth and understanding. Do you have a plan for growth? Personal spiritual growth does not happen by accident; you must have a plan and a purpose.

We have witnessed Paul’s purpose in this chapter where he said, “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” What we discover later in this book is that Paul also had a plan. Philippians 3:10 tells us Paul’s plan, “that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death.” Paul consciously knew his mind must be focused on loving God and have a clear plan for this love to grow.

For many Christians, the spiritual growth plan consists of going to church weekly, possibly participating in a weekly small group, and perhaps occasionally reading a devotional book. Growth becomes focused in a career that will last for 30-40 years at best, taking far greater precedence than the pursuit of growth with eternal significance.

Other Christians study the Bible and know a lot about God, but fail to understand the love of God in such a way that leads to deep and meaningful relationship. Knowledge of God and knowing God are not one in the same. Both have great value but are not meant to be exclusive to one another. Knowledge of God can produce the means by which we can know God more deeply. Knowing God relationally can develop a desire within to understand God more and thus study His Word. Both the knowledge of God through His Word and learning and knowing God experientially through a deepening relationship are what Jesus is saying when He speaks of loving God with all your mind.

The Apostle Paul is speaking to this very specifically. His purpose was to live for Christ for as long as he was alive on earth. His goal and desire were to know God in understanding who God is in all His power and to experience Him fully, even to the point of suffering to reflect Christ to others in revealing the suffering Christ did for us. That is seeking the love of God with all your mind. Paul knew that understanding and knowledge also involved sacrifice and service of his whole self.

We have reduced the love of God with all our mind to a knowledge-based, easy pursuit in the absence of sacrifice and service. We have made attending church the goal and giving some money the sacrifice. We don’t hurt for the lost as God hurts for them. We don’t sacrifice our time except in the pursuits we enjoy doing anyway. We don’t sit with the broken, share with the poor, value the sinner as a creation of God who is loved deeply by God, and we give little of our time apart from the pursuits of comfort, happiness, and ease. Our bank accounts are fixed on building for retirement with little building for eternity. Even our knowledge of God is reduced to feel good sermons and Jesus loves me, so He is only going to give me good things, quotes.

Paul was all in for the purpose of loving God with all his mind. Knowing God mentally, emotionally, relationally, and even physically was the direction of his life and pursuits. Paul’s life was never easy, he had no bank account, his sacrifice risked his life in pursuit of sharing the truth of Jesus, his life was threatened and nearly taken on multiple occasions, he was falsely accused, liked and hated by many on both accounts, yet in all of this, he never lost focus on his desire to know God. It is clear why Paul was able to say something the majority of us will never be able to say, “Follow me, as I have followed Christ.” Might this be a desire we consider to be able to one day say ourselves.

4. Love the Lord your God with all your strength … with our strength we yield to God. Loving God with all your strength speaks of surrender. Surrender is not a popular word in a world filled with abuses, crime, and denigration of human life. This yielding to God is giving Him our gifts, our talents, and our abilities to be used for the purposes He desires and chooses for us. However, to love God with all our strength is to surrender these things completely to God with the understanding they are not really ours to claim. It is important to realize that all we have is given to us by God; therefore, this surrender to Him for His plans is an act of worship in which we honor and glorify God.

I Peter 4:8-11 says, “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaint. As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”

As followers of Jesus, it is easy to accept the idea of yielding my gifts, talents, and abilities to God, if it means He will allow me to still somewhat possess them as mine and He will use them to bring out the very best. While this is not really yielding, I can tell myself I am yielding but really it is with my own glory in my mind and heart.

Surrender is something very different and leaves no room for self-serving use of these gifts, talents, and abilities, nor does it provide place for the acceptance of other’s praise over the honoring of God. Surrender recognizes where these came from, what purpose they were given for, and who it is that deserves the honor and glory for their use. Surrender says, “All I have is a gift to be used to honor God and the very least I can do is use them for that purpose.”

Just when you think you can grasp this and understand it and have taken this step, surrender moves you even further. It says it is time to give ALL, not just what we have and can do, but your very life. Surrender does not seek results but seeks obedience, whatever the outcome. Loving God with all your strength is a complete surrender of yourself in obedience to any and all that God purposes. There is truly no greater purposeful living than to be completely surrendered to the One who created you for purpose and with purpose, but not purpose of your own, rather His purpose.

I sincerely wish I could say, as I am sure many of you do as well, that I have achieved this. I wish I could say I love God with all my heart, and this is fully reflected in all the desires and passions I pursue daily. I wish I could acknowledge that I love God with all my soul, and my pursuit of Him has let me to full trust and deep, unwavering faith. I wish my love for God with all my mind meant I both know God with a deep understanding and spiritual knowledge, and I know Him experientially in such a way that my relationship with Him is a true reflection of Christ. I wish loving God with all my strength was clearly visible in such a complete surrender that when others saw me their only thought was of seeing Christ in me.

All of these things I wish, yet all I really can say is I have great need for the daily outpouring of God’s mercy, grace, and forgiveness. While I am so thankful for opportunity to know purpose, it is a daily struggle to live out His purpose and requires I continually come back to His love for me and my need to surrender to love God. Living purposefully is about love with a foundation in loving God because He first loved us!

Love yourself

The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Mark 12:31a. Is Jesus commanding us to love ourselves? No. It is important that we understand the importance of loving ourselves but not misinterpret this. The reality is that all of us have a certain level of love for ourselves. Even those who appear to hate themselves and struggle with self-esteem, at their core they have a love that wants the best for themselves. Someone once said, “The more a person tries to convince you they are nobody, the more you can be sure they think they are somebody.”

However, I want to take a different angle with this that I believe reflects what we find throughout the Bible. Part of the ability to live purposefully and ultimately, contentedly, is to have a proper view of who we are. From the moment Adam chose to disobey God, people have struggled with a love for self that is rooted in God and honors God verses a love that is rooted in pride, selfishness, and self-preservation.

The Bible actually makes it clear that we are created in the image of God and as such are designed for relationship with God and others. Jesus, while not commanding us to love ourselves, is stating the fact that we do love ourselves. Therefore, if it is a true statement that we love ourselves, would it not make sense that the Bible would have much to say about what we should think about that love and how it should act.

David gives us a beautiful picture in Psalm 139 of both how we should think and how we should act as it relates to this love. I encourage you to read Psalm 139 on your own, on a daily basis for a time, to take it in more fully.

Psalm 139 (New American Standard Bible)

Lord, You have searched me and known me. 2 You know when I sit down and when I get up; You understand my thought from far away. 3 You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. 4 Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, Lord, You know it all. 5 You have encircled me behind and in front, And placed Your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot comprehend it.

7 Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. 9 If I take up the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, 10 Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will take hold of me. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night,” 12 Even darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You.

13 For You created my innermost parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. 14 I will give thanks to You, because I am awesomely and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from You When I was made in secret, And skillfully formed in the depths of the earth; 16 Your eyes have seen my formless substance; And in Your book were written All the days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.

17 How precious also are Your thoughts for me, God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You.

19 If only You would put the wicked to death, God; Leave me, you men of bloodshed. 20 For they speak against You wickedly, And Your enemies take Your name in vain. 21 Do I not hate those who hate You, Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You? 22 I hate them with the utmost hatred; They have become my enemies.

23 Search me, God, and know my heart; Put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts; 24 And see if there is any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.

For the purpose of this writing, I am going to focus on just a few of the verses from this chapter in the Bible.

In Psalm 139:1 & 13-14, David first gives us a perspective on how we are to think, “O Lord, You have searched me and known me. … For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.”

David says I am to think of myself as fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who knows me, formed me, and loves me deeply. This love for my self is not intended to be a self-serving, self-seeking act of my will to satisfy my own fleshly desires. It is to be a love that recognizes how unique and specially designed I am, and as such, this love becomes an act of worship to Creator of this beautiful design.

Then in Psalm 139:23-24, David speaks to the actions this love for who I am and Whose I am should produce within me, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.”

The love produced within me from knowing my Creator intimately, will lead me to a deeper desire to know Him, follow Him, obey Him, and serve Him. This desire will be revealed as Jesus said, in loving God and loving my neighbor. Loving myself is not a command but a reality. The issue is not whether I love myself, it is what I do with this love. Love rooted in the design of a Creator who loves me and has great purpose for me will lead me to gratitude and desire to honor my Creator.

If I develop a right love for myself that we see in Psalm 139, how will this love show itself and what will it produce? We have already established this love is not possible without first loving God. Real love starts and ends with God … ”We love because he first loved us.” That being said, a Psalm 139 love for myself will have but one purpose: to live out my love for God by loving others as I have been loved. When we walk in the love God has demonstrated to us, our desire will be to honor Him by living out that love for others and thus demonstrate His love to others.

When the first command we surrender to and obey is to love God, it leads us to a humble and grateful love for ourselves as a beautiful creation of God, thus leading us to a life of purpose in demonstrating this love by loving others in the same way we have been loved and choose to love!

Love you neighbor

God is not just concerned that I love Him. It is His deep desire that I love others for this reflects the love of God in practical ways. Selfishness will keep me from loving others because my focus will be on, “what’s in it for me.” When I love God with heart, soul, mind, and strength, it makes it possible for me to “love my neighbor as myself.”

As Jesus prepared to go to the cross, He spent some time laying out for His disciples what was most important for them to hear and remember about the time they had spent together. One of those important instructions we find in John 13:35, “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Who is my neighbor? Perhaps the more appropriate question is, “Who is not my neighbor?” While we have the practical application of our neighbor being those who live near us. The reality is we spend far more time with those we work with, go to school with, play golf with, have dinner with, go to church with, participate in community functions with, or any other number of activities and events we find ourselves participating in with others.

So, who is my neighbor? All! All I come in contact with in one way or another are my neighbor. Am I to love them All? The simple answer is, Yes, although it is not an easy answer by any means.

Living a life on purpose as it relates to loving your neighbor will lead you down roads you never imagined travelling. It will open doors of opportunity to serve and love individuals you would never have chosen yourself. God will use you to shine and share His love to people you would never have expected to be in your life. However, living life on purpose that pursues loving God and thus loving others, will produce a joy, contentment, and fulfillment that no selfish pursuits of earthly gain could ever produce.

Much of my life has been spent in the service of others as a pastor, in social service work, and in building relationships in which I have sought to encourage others in their journey. As a pastor, I have walked with people through some of the most difficult times of their lives. As a friend, I have had many who have sought me out in times of great need for counsel, guidance, and encouragement. Working in social service work, I have been a leader in an organization seeking to bring therapeutic change to sex offenders; I have helped find healthy Christian homes for foster kids; I have helped lead an organization bringing help and healing to victims of Human Sex Trafficking; and I have been the Executive Director for a Domestic Violence Center.

In all of these opportunities, one major thing stands tall and true, none of it is possible to do without knowing God’s love and is impossible to have success in without loving God and reflecting that love through loving others. Without the love of God, I could not and would not see value in a sex offender, but with God’s love, I can see beyond the behavior and see the person God’s loves. Without love for others, it is difficult to have enough empathy to sacrifice the money I could make doing something else for the opportunity to bring dignity to victims of sexual violence, domestic violence, or parental neglect and abuse. Without being purpose driven by a love for God and others, there would be no ability to walk with individuals through horrific trauma and brokenness with no guarantee of change for their lives.

With the purpose to love God and love others before me, there is no greater joy than offering value and dignity to those who have never been offered it. Loving God becomes a driving force to honor God and be an example that brings hope to the hopeless. Loving others produces a contentment within the heart lasting for a lifetime, and eternal lifetime. No house, no car, no amount of money in the bank, no career position, and no amount of recognition has ever produced this level of contentment. Knowing that God does not hold me responsible for the results of loving others, but only asks for my obedience, provides a life of purpose filled with peace, a peace that passes all understanding.

The choice to live purposefully through a commitment to love God and love others as I love myself will produce contentment the world seeks, but can never find through any other pursuit. Living purposefully is rooted in surrender and obedience, which is perhaps while many seek it, few there are that find it.

Part three of four ... The Pursuit of Happiness

Decision # 3: I Will Live Faithfully

“But whatever happens to me, remember always to live as Christians should, so that whether I ever see you again or not, I will keep on hearing good reports that you are standing side by side with one strong purpose – to tell the Good News fearlessly, no matter what your enemies may do.”

Philippians 1:27,28a (Life Application Bible)

“Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established.”

Proverbs 16:3

The story is told of a man riding his camel thru the desert. As he rides on and finds himself tiring and thirsty, he comes across a wizard who greets him and calmly asks him to get down from his camel. Unsure if he is seeing a mirage or just in need of sleep, he follows the wizard’s request and in an odd way finds the hot sand almost refreshing to his feet. The wizard wastes no time in giving further instruction, this time with more forcefulness. “Reach down,” he instructs, “and pick up sand; put it into your pockets. Get back on your camel and ride till you reach the end of the desert. Do not put your hands back into your pockets until you have reach end of the sand.” With these words the wizard disappeared from view. The man now believing he has surely seen a mirage, still reaches down and reluctantly takes two handfuls of sand and puts them in his pockets. He climbs back on his camel and rides on. He rides all day and through the night, all the time wondering what all of this means and if he had even experienced anything real or just in his mind. Finally, as day breaks, tired, cold, hungry, and thirsty he reaches a small river as the desert turns to a forest of trees at the base of a mountain. He is so anxious to reach in his pockets that he forgets his thirst. As he pulls his first hand from his pocket a sense of wonder mixed with doubt overflows him at what he sees. He instantly dunks his head into the river to drink convinced he is walking in a heat stroked dream. Pulling his head from the water and getting his bearings, he slowly reaches his other hand into his pockets and pulls it out. Shocked, the same is true as his other pocket, the sand has turned to diamonds! He is ecstatic, for a moment; suddenly, overwhelming regret pours over him. Do you know why? He regrets that he didn’t take more sand.

Sounds crazy I know. Although this is a very fictitious story, how often do we do the same? We listen to voices around us not even knowing who they are or if they are real. We chase after unclear ideas and dreams even when we must travel through emotional deserts to find their meaning. We hope for miracles and instant riches to give us purpose and contentment. We wonder aimlessly for the end of the desert and the meaning that will have it all make sense. In the end, we find that moment of happiness or excitement that quickly turns to regret, or even shame, for what we missed or failed to do.

Look again at the words of Paul, “But whatever happens to me, remember always to live as Christians should, so that whether I ever see you again or not, I will keep on hearing good reports that you are standing side by side with one strong purpose – to tell the Good News fearlessly, no matter what your enemies may do.” Paul’s deep desire for these Christians, and ultimately for us, was they stand side by side with one strong purpose, no matter what their enemies did. That is the perfect picture of living faithfully. It is important that we make the decision to live confidently recognizing the work of God and realizing what really matters in life. It is essential that we know our purpose and live with that singular focus. Yet living confidently and living purposefully will not bring contentment until we are able to live this out faithfully.

There will be opposition and there will be struggle and for this reason we need one another. Loving your neighbor is first and foremost an act of obedience to God, but it is also the door to deep, real, lasting relationships that are vital to living out purpose faithfully. There are those who say and even sing about only needing God but the Bible does not teach this. Repeatedly we discover that we were created for relationship first with God and with others. It is the reason Jesus said, “On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:40.

“Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established.” … Proverbs 16:3. Ultimately, our focus, commitment, plans, desires, purpose, deeds, and efforts must be given to God. If not, we will fail, but by committing our works to God, we can find faithfulness and contentment. Jesus said, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” If we are to live our lives faithfully and find contentment, then life must be lived with purpose that is rooted in a confidence in God and His work within us.

There is a key principle that emerges through this journey . . . contentment is the result of a life of endurance and perseverance. Contentment begins with choices, decisions of the mind to live confidently based on who I am in Christ. This then leads me to a decision to take personal responsibility for my life and choose to live purposefully focusing on Who I am living for. As I learn to love God and love others from this place of purpose, the door of opportunity begins to open that allows me to live in faithfulness enabling me to persevere when the journey is difficult. Contentment is a result of the work within me. It is the work of God renewing my mind to make decisions that lead to a transformation producing contentment in my mind, heart, and life.

The Faithfulness of God

What makes living faithfully possible is the faithfulness of God to His children. Without the faithfulness of God, it is impossible for any human being to live faithfully. God’s purposeful living to love His people make loving Him a reality. I John 4:16 tells us, “We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” And I John 4:19 goes on to say, “We love, because He first loved us.”

A few years ago, in the state of Maine, there was a very sad and tragic death of a Maine State Trooper while doing his job to serve and protect. In what could only be explained as a freak accident as he was hit and killed by a truck tire which came off a truck travelling down the highway, this young officer of 32 years old gave his life protecting and helping someone else on the side of the road. I did not know this man at all personally, but he was married to my brother-in-law’s cousin, so it took a personal turn in a way. As I watched online the amazing love and respect that was poured out toward this man in what can only be described as an awe-inspiring ceremony, my mind thought as so many others, “How can this be?” In tragic times like these it is easy for human beings to question the love of God, His care, His ways, His purposes, and His faithfulness. While I do not have answers for this and many other incidents I have experienced through the years of a similar nature, I can say with certainty that God remains faithful and His love abounds.

I have witnessed God transform families and individuals through tragedies. I have seen Him turn lives around that no one believed could happen. I have seen Him heal wounds physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually that no prescription, surgery, or doctor ever could. In all these things I do not believe God is the cause of the tragedy, pain, sickness, death, or whatever it may be. We sadly live in a fallen world that has been negatively impacted by sin and bad things happen even to good people, for that matter even to great people. But God does not waste these things. As a Sovereign God who loves and is faithful, He uses these times to move and work in the minds and hearts of people to bring hope, peace, life, love, joy, and even contentment. How He does this is beyond me. Why He does this is because God is faithful to His purpose and His purpose is to love you and to love me! The only advice I know to give if you are going through such a time as this is to trust. Trust that He does love; trust that He knows; and trust that He is faithful.

As human beings who have been broken, wounded, and vulnerable to sin, we fail and live lives of unfaithfulness. While we may not fall into the traditional view of unfaithfulness in a marriage relationship, we are unfaithful in so many other ways, many of which we do not even recognize or are honest about. We cling to our own ideas of solving problems, finding success, or seeking happiness, not even recognizing how much we are rejecting God’s direction or instruction. We seek after selfish ambitions even when it hurts those in our lives we love or that love us, and much of the time, we do not even see the hurt we are creating. We pledge our time, our talents, and our money to the things that satisfy the flesh, while we pass right by the needs we have opportunity to meet that hold eternal value. I am intentionally not being overly specific here with the intent and hope that we would all look deep in recognize our unfaithfulness.

None of this is meant to leave us discouraged or guilty; it is merely the reality of our human existence and struggle even as followers of Jesus. The problem is we often judge our faithfulness in the light of comparing ourselves to others. As such, we find those we consider unfaithful as we define it and see ourselves as faithful by comparison.

It is time to STOP, and realize faithfulness can only truly be compared considering the faithfulness of God. While this leaves us saddened and broken to see our unfaithfulness, it is also the beginning of discovering the possibility of living in faithfulness. My faithfulness is not made possible by my efforts or my righteousness. Faithfulness is possible because of the faithfulness of God. Just as we love because God first loved, so we have the opportunity and ability to live faithfully because God is faithful. My faithfulness made possible by the faithfulness of a loving God who desires and empowers me to walk with Him in this journey.

Notice, however, I did not say perfectly. Faithfulness is different from perfection. Only God is perfect. While we have been washed clean by the blood of Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit is leading us on to perfection in Christ, we remain in a battle of world, flesh, and Devil. Faithfulness is what keeps us moving forward to perfection through the valleys, through the failures, and through the brokenness around us. God’s faithfulness to us allows us to not give up, not let our failures to be fatal.

Faithfulness, according to Wikipedia, means unfailingly remaining loyal to someone or something, and putting that loyalty into consistent practice regardless of extenuating circumstances. God is both perfect in His love to us and perfect in His faithfulness. As we recognize the work of God in us and realize what matters in life, and as we live purposefully focused on the love of God, we understand and value the faithfulness of God to us. The more God’s faithfulness is embraced, the more loyal we become in our walk with God. We may still struggle and fall at times, but our loyalty to the work of God grows. The decision to live faithfully is a direct result of the faithfulness of God to us.

I remember a very difficult time in my life many years ago when I was struggling with depression. Being in this place lead me to disparity thoughts and poor choices. In meeting with one of my life mentors and pastor, Roger Cousineau, I talked with him opening about my fears of walking away from God. Roger looked at me and said, “I do not worry about that with you. I see your loyalty and love for God and I know you will always come back to that focus.” Roger knew me, knew my heart, and knew the work of God in me that he had witnessed.

These words were so encouraging to me, they helped begin my journey out of this dark place. To understand that my sin and imperfection was not what determined my faithfulness. God’s faithfulness to me and work within me would keep me loyal through my moments of struggle and failure.

This does not mean I do not work toward perfection in Christ, but again I must fall back on the work of God in me, not on my work for God. The work of God in me is what helps me to grow, keeps me focused on His love and purpose, brings me back when I sin, and deepens my understanding of His faithfulness thus enabling me to be faithful.

Faithfulness will Lead to Fearlessness …

There is one of two ways to live life: by Faith or by Fear. We go back to the words of the Apostle Paul, “But whatever happens to me, remember always to live as Christians should, so that whether I ever see you again or not, I will keep on hearing good reports that you are standing side by side with one strong purpose – to tell the Good News fearlessly, no matter what your enemies may do.”

Remember … living life by faith starts with remembering. Remember the work of God. Remember what really matters. Remember the love of God that leads to loving God. Remember God’s command to love others. Remember living on purpose is rooted in love. Remember the faithfulness of God. Remember what you have been taught, shown, and experienced. Remember to believe these truths, trust these truths, and walk in these truths. Remember faith and faithfulness opens a door of contentment.

Fearless living is not a solitary journey … to live fearlessly we need the work of God in us. Additionally, we also need the support, encouragement, and love of others. The Church was never meant to be a place we go, it was to be a people we know. The Church is not something we keep from the world, it is a gift we bring to the world. The Church should not lead us to a life of fear, it should strengthen us to live a life of faith. The Church is not a club we join, it is a community we embrace. The Church is God’s gift to His children to create family, community, support, guidance, and growth in faith and faithfulness. We are created and designed for relationship and in a relationship of faith, fear is defeated.

Our world focuses on fearfulness. When we isolate ourselves and think we only need Jesus, we fail to understand Jesus’ message. Fear thrives in isolation; faith grows in community. Desiring to live faithfully means I must find encouragement from others and be an encourager to others. Fearless living is not a solitary journey. Life is relationship; the rest is just details.