Quiet Mind – Happy Mind

I remember meeting a very old man, a few months before his passing.  He was lying contorted – his ravaged body almost gone, but his mind still sharp as nails. 

“ Years ago, I made a pact with destiny”, he told me;  “If I had a choice between Parkinson’s (where I lose my body) and Alzheimer’s, (where I lose my mind), I  would chose Parkinson’s.  Now I lament the  choice. Here I am with a broken body -but a painfully sharp mind. But oh, what a curse  it is  to live in  this failed body.  All I ask of life now, is for a little peace.”, he said softly, almost to himself.

 There is also a story in contrast. I recall meeting an old lady, who was suffering from severe arthritis – in pain, with severely restricted movement. I had gone to visit her hoping to give her some solace.

 “How are you, aunty”, I asked tentatively, waiting to hear her laments, wondering how I would respond to a situation that I had no way to improve. But she surprised me.

 She smiled at me. “ I am feeling great. So, nice of you to visit”, she said, with all sincerity and calm.

Her body was ravaged, but her mind was serene. I bowed to her, humbled at her equanimity in the face of a battered body. She was at peace, and she exuded peace. She gave me solace rather than the other way around.

 As you grow older , some infirmity is inevitable . But, remember that  your world is a creation of your mind. You can create your own happy world. You must train your mind to be tranquil , at peace, despite the tribulations around. Just as a clear lake, bereft of dirt and ripples, reflects serenity , so also a mind free of agitations reflects the quietude within. Good  ageing is happy ageing.

Quiet mind -happy mind

Our mind creates our inner world and the people and things living in it.  Within this inner world, there is  continuous chatter – between the people residing in it, fighting, arguing , cajoling and grieving , almost 20 hours of the day. Even when we sleep, our mind doesn’t calm down – it continues the conversations of the day, to torment our nights. Within us, we are  both the aggressor and the aggressed. We see shadows that we make into ghosts, and ropes into serpents .

This continuous inner dialogue keeps us tense and  stressed. Even happy thoughts agitate us , though positively. It is like cruising in a car – sometimes there is the exhilaration of wind and speed, sometimes there is the strain of bumpy roads  - but through all this the engine is always under stress, burning fuel and wearing down. Our minds and bodies  need rest to be able to do its magic of repair. For this the mind must be calm.

When the mind is calm, the continually firing neural pathways shift from high activity  to a gentle pace. All the other body systems – the blood flow, sugar production, hormone release – also slow down. Breath also slows.  The body in this state of calm, repairs and resets itself. A calm mind, most of the time, is central to healthy ageing.

 A calm mind heals the body. Ancient texts like Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, give us time tested ways to train the body and still the mind. Other systems like Tai chi also do the same thing. These practices must begin as early in life as possible. But all this can work only if our frame of mind is conducive. Developing such a frame of mind or attitude is the first step.

Change of attitude

 Life throws curve balls at us all the time. It may relate to work, or family or relationship or money. Things may not go the way we want – in fact things may go horrible wrong. What helps us deal with these events is our attitude to the events. If we have a frame of mind that changes a bad situation into a challenge, the very same source of stress becomes a source of positivity.

 Our attitude is the set of beliefs that guides us. It differentiates one person’s world from another's. The same summer shower is joyful for some, and irksome for others. As we work on reshaping our beliefs , we will be able to deal with events that impact us , far better. Here is a set of beliefs that we should all adopt in our lives:

• You can’t prevent or calm a storm. All you can do is to keep your calm and wait for the storm to pass.
• In every bad situation you have the choice to lament and give up, or work towards finding a solution. By focussing on the solution, we can convert negative stress to a positive one.
•  We have no control on how the other person behaves, but we do have a control over how we  react to the behaviour. Therefore, in every difficult situation, react with maturity.
• We don’t have to act or react when provoked. A measured response is always a better response. No response is often the best response.
• Time cures.  Given time, most situations could correct themselves.
• Everything is not about you . Being empathetic and kind is the best way to deal with others around us.

These may seem as  simple principles to follow, but they are not. They require practice.Age doesn’t automatically make one wise - the angry young man would only grow up to be an angry old man. We have to take charge and work to improve the quality of our mind. Here are some steps to calm the mind:

First start with the body

If the body is relaxed and still, the mind also becomes calm. Sitting still is a first step. Try it out. Find a quiet corner and just sit without doing anything. Don’t move, don’t fidget – just sit still, without any mobile device or book or TV to distract your mind.

This is much more difficult than one thinks. The body is always restless, because it is inhabited by a restless mind. As one learns to still the body, the mind also  becomes calm.

Use breath to achieve calmness

 Have you noticed that when angry the breath speeds up. When in deep sleep the breathing is slow and shallow. Our breath and state of mind are intimately connected. The breath can be used to control the mind. This is the basis of pranayama, one of the pillars of yoga.

 When you are under the grip of emotion, use your breath as a tool to bring emotion under control. Consciously observe your breath and reign it in. Instead of allowing the breath to follow the emotion, force your breath to be deeper and slower. You will see that within minutes your emotion would come under your control.

Silence is a powerful mind tonic

 We are not used to silence. We have the urge to talk. Try silence for a while. When in company, keep quiet. When in a meeting, don’t jump up to give your opinion. Decide that for the next two hours you would not say a word - increase to four hours and then half a day. Try to be quiet for a whole day.

 When silent, you will be conscious of the inner  dialogue that occupies the silence. Don’t focus on the dialogue. Treat it as you would the chatter of some noisy teenagers in a bus you are travelling in. You are hearing, but you don’t care and don’t participate. Treat your internal dialogue  in the same way. Soon you will see the chatter slows down and finally disappears. You will experience a deep peace inside.

Practice mindfulness

This is a Buddhist meditation technique. In the earlier methods you are trying to quieten the mind. In this technique you are doing something different – you are becoming aware of the present. Experience each sensation. If you are sitting, feel the pressure of the chair on back. Feel the texture of the armrest on your palm. If you are walking, feel the way your feet move, observe the texture of the path you are walking on, see the colour of the sky, notice the shape of the trees around you. If there is music far away, listen to it. Hear the melody . If there is  gentle breeze– feel the air on your face. Experience the present – completely, with full focus, don’t let the mind stray from the present.

As you become more mindful of the present moment, you will begin to experience a great calm and quiet. You will see the  world  anew- because for the first time, you are paying full attention.