RēL Talk Today and People Liking You (+worksheet)

 I guide my clients and readers to build unique and meaningful lives.  A life personally designed around what actually matters to them. Instead of what others think should matter.

I teach what I learn and I learn through living my own life.  

It hasn't always been quite as meaningful.  

My choices have often been based on chasing success.  Success was defined by society or the people around me.  

It wasn't the success that would bring the kind of meaning to my life that I desired.  And to go against the ideas of others (especially those you love) takes so much courage.  

Courage and commitment to yourself.  

Through fallure (yes Fall-ure - check out my blog to learn more) I am learning and developing greater meaning in my life.  

It is a very intentional practice.  

And I highly recommend you think about what your life could be like with greater meaning in your days. 

One of the many ways we end up chasing other people's ideas of what life should be - is through seeking approval or validation. 

It is often an unconscious thing we do.  

Our brains are sneaky little tricksters that give us a little dopamine hit when we get validation.  Well, our brains love dopamine and so we become really good at taking action to get that validation.  This can often be observed as being a people pleaser. 

But let’s be honest, most of what we do, we want people to like. The more people don’t like it, the busier we are refining and revamping it.  Until we get that approval.  That validation.

People pleasers end up resentful and that means blaming others for not getting what they really want.  People pleasers believe that eventually by making others happy they will actually enjoy their life more.  That their life will be meaningful.   

We humans unconsciously tend to be people pleasers.  I am a recovering people pleaser.  

One of the hardest things you will ever do is try to please people. It’s hard because you’ll never succeed.

You will never actually succeed. 

It’s a game — a futile, empty one at that. (I know that's a jagged pill to swallow).

The goal is to like what you do, love what you do, think your own thoughts, create the life you want to live, and never mind if anyone approves or affirms you in it.

Don’t be afraid to love the path you’re walking on and the life you’re living — every step, every minute.

Be gentle with yourself.  I'm here to point out things that you may be less conscious of in your life.  My intention is to guide you to see what is in your way of having the ability to create the life you desire.  To navigate the rough spots of life with greater agility and to have the tools to respond to life's challenges in a way that honors who you really are.  

We have to see it first, then we can change it. 

One of my favorite tools to see what isn't bringing meaning to life is the framework of the 6 Basic Human Needs. Every human has the same basic needs. When met, we are happy, fueled and feeling we matter in life.

The tricky part is that we each are uniquely designed to have differing amounts that we need to feel happy. Identifying your needs are the first step. I've created a little worksheet to help you get started. You can get it here. Feel Better Now

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I absolutely believe in you.  Even when (and often especially when) you don't know if you can believe in yourself.   

Stay curious my friend!

Marianne

P.S.  If you would like to jump on a Discovery call to see how I might be able to support you in designing a more meaningful life, then here is my calendar.  No obligation, just 30 minutes with me. 

P.S.S. LEADERS: Do you have a team - ready to do what you tell them you need but what you desire are LEADERS?  RēL Coaching for LEADERS might be what you are looking for.  Check out more Coaching for LEADERS

Learn More about living a Radically Engaged Lifestyle 

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