The real reasons work boundaries are easier to keep!

This week we're discussing the REAL reasons why work boundaries are easier to keep than personal life ones.

1. VALIDATION

How you were raised, praised, reprimanded and by whom has shaped the way you live today and the validation you seek. The confirmation you want that you are a 'good girl/boy/person' is subconsciously driving why you do what you do, when you do it and who you do it for.

The moment you notice a pattern like this, is the minute you can change it, tweak it or delete it from your 'computer brain storage' altogether.

I can't talk about subconscious habits without touching on neuroscience, in 2021 I took the Neuroscience Professional Development Programme with Dr Lynda Shaw to better understand more about what goes on inside our brains.

2. CONFRONTATION

Anyone can give you advice about what to do in a certain situation, but they're not you. They don't have your hot buttons and they are not going to have to 'manage' your consequences.

Next time you're in a situation where you want to say NO, but you can't quite seem to get the word out, take 5 mins and write out your answers to these self-coaching questions.

1. What catastrophe do I believe will happen if I say no?
2. How will it make me feel to say no to this person, opportunity, situation?
3. What could happen if I say no both physically and mentally?

When it comes to confrontation, often the consequences we think might happen are much less 'dramatic' when written out on paper.

3. SCARCITY

There are many reasons why we bend our boundaries and scarcity beliefs tend to be one of the most common.

• When we live with an abundance mentality, we believe that what's for us will never pass us by, that if we say no to something today we will get another opportunity.
• When we live with a scarcity mentality, we believe that this is our one and only chance and that if we say no today, we will never get another opportunity.

They are 2 sides of the same coin, the 'reality' you live in, is based on the truth you believe. How can one person manifest everything they want and another not?

What next?

If you’re ready to go deeper we have a free Boundary Setting Masterclass Training that you can take by CLICKING HERE and it comes with a downloadable workbook!

>> I can't wait to hear your thoughts on today's conversation, and leave any questions below and let's evolve this conversation, or reach out to me in a DM, I'd love to hear from you.

See you next week

Abigail

Disclaimer: *Please seek the professional help you need where necessary. This article is not intended to be medical or professional advice it is the thoughts and opinions of a practitioner of life.

Where the inspiration for this week's Newsletter came from.

Over the last couple of weeks I've done 2 polls asking you my Network on Linkedin 2 questions about boundary setting when it comes to work and personal life and below are those questions and the results.

The first poll was for work boundaries with 48% of people setting and sticking to them compared to 39% who bent them.

The second poll was for personal life boundaries with 14% of people setting and sticking to them compared to 57% who bent them.

Both polls had around the same number of votes, were up for 7 days and had similar reach and yes statistics can be used to tell whatever story you want, so for the benefit of this conversation let's suspend any further data analysis and dive right into the 3 challenges that I see when it comes to boundary setting in our personal lives versus our work lives.

You can read the FULL VERSION of this post on our website, including more self-coaching questions and exercises.

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Abigail Barnes is the Author of Time Management for Entrepreneurs & Professionals

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