It’s October, which means it’s feeling like fall here in LA, and I have the pumpkins to prove it. If you just got through annual reviews, congratulations, and if you’re getting ready to close out your year on a strong note, you’ve got this. Schedule some vacation now! Maybe you’re on the hunt for a new job. Keep at it this month before things slow down in the end of November and December. October brought celebrations of Hispanic Heritage, World Mental Health Day, World Teachers’ Day, Latina Equal Pay Day, National Mentor Day and so much more. As we reflect on progress and raise awareness, it’s clear that there’s still a lot of important work for us to do together. Let’s help each other out.
Today we’re switching up the format and taking you behind the scenes to address real questions our readers have shared and quick tips you can try. How do you negotiate your own success when you get the job, can't stand a colleague, or are waiting for that promo? What dilemma are you wrestling with right now? We’d love to hear (and help!) in the comments.
Q: How do I negotiate my job offer?
A: The Great Reshuffle is upon us, and you’re likely a few negotiations away from your next gig. The beginning of your negotiation starts before the offer--when you first learn about the role. Before investing time in an interview process (time is money), clarify if the company has the cash to pay you. “I’m currently entertaining xyz jobs in the 90-110k range. Is this role aligned with that market value for xyz?” Know before you go. Here are a few tips when the offer comes:
- Decide what success looks like before the offer. Know the minimum you’re willing to accept to feel happy in the role--base, bonus, stock, incentives, perks. That takes the mystery out of “how will I respond when the offer comes”? Have your baseline offer ready to pull up to compare to the real one--this makes the process more objective and helps you focus quickly on areas to negotiate.
- Consider the whole package: we often think of new jobs as money and title. But there’s so much more to it: a good boss who you click with and will learn from or who can introduce you to a large network is worth $$, and so is flexible work and unlimited vacation--the list goes on. Weigh the value of all the pieces. If you’re leaving a boss you can’t stand, how much is a new boss worth to you in happier days? Evaluate it all, and then consider the money and title and perks.
- Several women I’ve spoken to in the past few months want to negotiate to know they didn’t leave money on the table. This is great, and even more powerful when you have a goal in mind. What matters most? Base, bonus, perks, stock, learning opportunities? Know your levers. It’s okay to get creative here. Say you’re joining a 75-person startup: ask if it’s possible to have a quarterly 1:1 with the CEO for visibility. If the $$ range is lower than you were expecting, ask if there’s flexibility in the title based on your experience. Pre-negotiate your 3-week holiday vacation DTO up front, on top of the vacation policy.
Q: A new coworker and I aren’t getting along. It’s making it uncomfortable to come to work. Help!
A: Everyone’s fried after 18+ months in a global pandemic. Chances are good a lot of the folks you’re interacting with every day aren’t feeling their best, and some people are doing what they can not to fall apart. Now’s a good time to lean into giving yourself and others grace and space.
Years ago, a friend suggested I go to lunch with a colleague who I knew was tired of getting my legal change requests. This was the VERY LAST THING I wanted to do--spend more time with someone who made my day harder! And pay for lunch? Raise your hand if you’ve been there.
Turns out that this is solid advice--leaning in to conflict rather than zoning out. Talk about it (within reason) until it feels better. Here are a few tools that help:
- Adjust expectations. You’re not going to like everyone you work with, and that’s fine. You just have to adjust what you’re aiming for with some people. Have a colleague who doesn’t ever want to build a relationship and just wants to “get the transaction done”? Great, dive in. Don’t expect to talk about your weekend with them. Spend that time on someone who reciprocates.
- Be the one to bring it up and find a shared goal you can agree on. Going back to my example: “Hey, I know we both want to be successful helping customers every day. And you probably cringe when you see my emails asking for contract edits. I’d like to change that so we both feel good about the back and forth that helps us get the right documents to customers.” Then offer to go first. “What can I do to make this better?” Listen. Find one thing to commit to in their suggestion. Ask what they’d add to the equation. And then see if you can agree to revisit in a few weeks to see if things are better. “How will we know if this looks better for both of us in two weeks?”
- Use this as practice for the next gig. Whatever conflict you have in your role today, it’s preparing you for trickier conflict you’ll find when you get promoted, become a manager, or start your own company. The next level up always has more conflict with more complexity, so figure out how you can use this situation to prepare you to be conflict-adept down the road. Make it a goal to get good at navigating it because work has no shortage of thorny interactions. If you’re a product manager and want to become a Sr. PM but can’t get along with your UX designer, how will you prove readiness to be a Sr. who is modeling PM work? Swimming in the lane you’re in helps you get ready for other lanes you’ll find yourself in in the future.
Q: I’m not getting promoted. The wait is getting long. What am I doing wrong?
A: The trick to getting ahead is being so good at what you’re doing today that you’re naturally top of mind when new opportunities open up--your reputation precedes you. Here’s a quick checklist of questions you can ask yourself. When you reflect on these, are you saying yes to all of them? Work on the ones you’re saying no to right now!
- Am I completing my day to day work impeccably well and with efficiency that builds in time for me to help the business more? Promotion candidates have it all handled--their day job is running smoothly and they’re agreeable and eager to lend a hand because they’ve made time to add more value.
- Am I making my boss’ life easier? Offering to help, looking out for the team, going the extra mile?
- Do I make my boss look good? Does my work reflect well on me, my team and my manager, or am I dropping typos or conflicts or fires on their doorstep every week?
- Am I spending time on the right things? Your boss wants to know you can focus on things that matter, not noise. Is your work keeping you busy or driving value?
- Do I leave people better than I found them? Colleagues who are easy to work with and willing to do their part plus some are memorable--so how can you be adaptable and easy to work with?
- Am I visible to people up, down, and across the business? Do they know who I am and what I do? Being great in a silo isn’t a recipe for promotion. Instead, build key relationships and a stellar reputation across the business. Set up a career convo with a skip level leader and ask how you can help them, become a go-to for another department, or offer to speak or share with other teams to improve collaboration.
So now what? Check out these courses to take charge of your career today!
Thank you for speaking up! Please click subscribe to join us again next month, as we’re here to be yours in making workplaces better for women.
Tech Skills Leader | Developer Education | Product Strategy
3yVery helpful advice and succinctly put! Thank you, Jolie M.!
Leadership + Career Coach | Helping Women Be Seen, Heard, Promoted, and PAID | LinkedIn Learning Instructor | Beyond Barriers Founding Member
3yJolie M., you have a book in you. Your advice is solid and your perspectives are never #Dilbert. My fave in your list is the last tip, VISIBILITY. That's do or die IMO.
Management student and Mental Health Team Lead focused on leadership, team management, and integrating tech into mental health care to drive effective solutions and enhance organizational performance.
3yI love reading your writing, it is so pleasant and informative.
Leadership Strategist & Speaker | Award-Winning Author | Transforming Leaders & Their Organizations through Actionable Strategies
3yExcellent advice Jolie M.. Thank you for sharing.