The Rear-view Optimization (Post 2)

In 1993, one of India's first water parks opened up on the outskirts of Delhi. The highlight there was a wave pool that came alive on the hour, every hour. We got there early and set in to a rhythm, enjoying the 10-odd minutes of waves before exploring other parts of the park. Later that day, we sat down at the cafe to grab a bite. Just then, a fog-horn sounded announcing the start of the waves. Not wanting to miss the waves, I got up from my seat, spun around and ran for the pool. But remember, this was a water park - everything, everywhere was wet. Physics took over and before anyone could react, I was lying flat on the wet & slippery marble floor with a long gash on my head and blood everywhere. 

Over the next hour, people worked frantically to stop the bleed and get a dressing on. Once both, the bleeding and my tears, had stemmed, my mother started to impart a solemn lesson. “Don't run like that… especially on wet surfaces, they are slippery”, she said. Soon, others chimed in with varying lessons of life ranging from looking before leaping to being more patient and careful.

In pain and genuinely not interested, I tried avoiding everyone’s gaze and that’s when I saw it. My concerned, loving and extremely affectionate father was seemingly distracted. He kept glancing at the clock as though he couldn’t wait to leave the park and all these bad memories behind. He paced back and forth then suddenly disappeared. A few minutes before the hour, he reappeared with a waterproof cap. Without a word, he carefully put it on me, took my hand and led me gently to the edge of pool. Here we waited for the fog horn.

In those few moments, I relived the slip, the pain, the dizziness countless times. When the waves did start, so did my tears and my father's feet. A firm but loving hand added momentum to my reluctant shuffling towards the water. Not a word was said or needed to be - I followed his cue till I was chest deep in the pool. Then, the first wave hit me. It felt a slap on my face, a sting on my wound, a tear on my consciousness. Then it happened again and again and it dulled. My fear subsided but my confidence grew.

We continued the day as if nothing had happened. But as the day and the pain wound down, I had learnt not to run on wet surfaces the hard way (pun intended) but that’s not what changed my life. It was the two lessons my father imparted to me without saying a word.

First, don't let fear win. Fear is a way to warn you, to make you acutely aware of something that you weren't paying attention to. Once you’re paying attention, fear’s job is done and it’s time for you to let it go. There are some fears you will always live with but you have the choice to keep this list lean by converting each to an enabler.

Second & most importantly, don’t give up. Keep trying. However, just being bolder or braver or grittier is not enough. You need to be more aware. Smarter and wiser comes with experience and one has never been a statistically significant data set. Stop and think – look back at what happened the first time around. Ask yourself – What went wrong? What factors are under my control and what are part of the system? Was failure inevitable? How could that have been avoided? What were the risks and how could one have mitigated them? Was there a measurable outcome to determine degree of success

This is what I have come to call The Rear-view Optimisation.

In living, we attempt, we experience. As we do, how we view these events in our lives is extremely personal and very subjective. And while our barometers for success, happiness or goodness are infinitesimally individualistic, it is inevitable that at some / many points in life we have all experienced failures, misgivings or hardships in some form. During post-mortem of these experiential troughs, it begins to dawn on us that while there are things beyond our control, there are many within it. All said and done, we could have succeeded.

However, this is hindsight. What had to happen, has happened. Depending on the severity of the ‘failure’, we either do or don’t want to attempt and/or experience this again. The only thing that defines this choice are our fears and biases, overcoming which are the first two steps of applying The Rear-view Optimization. Once we overcome this inertia, we begin to strategize our second coming and that is where the next four steps help you improve your odds. The last step is the formulaic but extremely effective application of rewards & recognition, with the only twist being that you celebrate downturns as well.

The Rear-view Optimisation’s 7-step process does not guarantee success. However, it does incrementally improve both you and your subsequent experience(s) and in turn, the results both, tangible and/or notional, that you obtain. It is also not an absolute process, you can pick only one or a few and apply – you will still obtain a positive delta.

1. Overcome your fear – The presence of fear is proof of a rational mind. However, it’s this same fear that later prevents rational thought. The challenge is discovering the extremely personal process of converting fear from being a paralytic agent to being a catalyst. One of the simplest ways to do this is to simply confront your fears.
2. Recognise biases, adjust for them – Fear can create biases, it can make you avoid something altogether or in most cases over or under compensate. While the fears go away, biases tend to stay. Biases tend to skew your view of situations and the world. A great litmus test as Mark Manson put’s it is to check if it’s you against the world. If that is the case about your thinking or approach, fix it.
3. Abstain from absolutes – Don’t stick to the original script but also, don’t change the entire construct of what you want to correct / amend / reattempt. Identify the bottlenecks – the few areas that you need to address or change. Work on and alter only those in the next try.
4. Bite only what you can chew – ‘Invest what is economical, attempt what is surmountable.’ Focus on the second part of the axiom. This in no way means not to dream big. But once you have an aspirational vision / mission / goal, break down the odds / problems / challenges in to bite-sized portions. First set your limits, then test them – not the other way around.
5. Know your costs – ‘Invest what is economical, attempt what is surmountable.’ Now the first part. Dreams can be infinite, resources are finite. Resources can be notional (emotions, friendships, favours etc.) or physical (money, people, time etc.) and once spent they are either gone or take time to regenerate and accumulate.
6. Discover order – Segregate all actions, reactions, factors, inputs, individuals etc. across two categories: leading and lagging. Recognising causality is key to understanding the various permutations and combinations of ‘attacks’ your attempts will be open to. Once you can identify the primary actor(s), you can focus on the leading factors and therein minimise disruptions and their impacts.
7. Recognise incremental successes – Recognise wins, celebrate them. But a success is defined not only as a time when you win or obtain a favourable outcome. Knowing what not to do or how or when is also a win as it helps improve our feedback loop. Both, wins and knowing what to differently, add a welcome momentum to the overall scheme of things.

Is there an additional step we can add to this list? Do we have grounds for a violent disagreement? Did this help you in any way or form? If yes, please write back to dhruvdbahl@gmail.com; I’d love to hear your views.