Understanding Misdirected Anger

Once when I was a young teen, I was hitting a tennis ball against the practice board when all of a sudden another young teen got in my face.

He kept picking on me.

So much so, that I reached out to an adult to see if they would stop him.

No such luck.

When I went home my mother told me that his parents just started divorce proceedings.

As an adult, I lived in Pennsylvania in an area largely know for its Pennsylvania Dutch heritage.

While a beautiful place to live, the residents were raised by folks who always said, don't talk to the English. (Translated this meant don't talk to anyone they didn't know.)

The area was very unfriendly. It was natural for me to be friendly and say hello. When I did, they'd just stare at me and walk away. I experienced that for 17 years.

More recently, we relocated to a part of Florida where my wife grew up.

We started going to a church which my wife used to attend.

It was not the same place. It was quite obvious that the pastor played favorites. He hung out with his friends and we were not in his group.

After having our fill of that church, we started with another church. Oddly enough, I started criticizing the leader of our Sunday School.

Some years later, I realized the Sunday School teacher was the recipient of all of my anger toward the unfriendly people I lived with and the unfriendly pastor.

Obviously, I was the one in the wrong now.

I share these stories because many of us receive anger that wasn't really meant for us.

I'll never forget changing lanes in hope of getting on to a road more quickly only to have the person behind me lay on the horn.

As I quickly moved back into the lane, I couldn't help thinking that someone must have just yelled at this guy or he lost his job.

I can't help wondering how many road rage events would never occur, if we stopped to consider that the other driver's behavior may be due to something that has nothing to do with us.

Anyway, 65 years taught me this lesson. I hope it is helpful for you.