Redefining Strength: From Rigidity to Resilience

When I was younger, I held a narrow view of strength. I thought it meant never admitting weakness, powering through illness without taking time off of work, and rejecting help at all costs. I believed strength was about being stoic, unyielding, and fiercely independent. Many times, when someone offered to assist me with something, I said I "was fine," and did not accept, even though secretly, I really wanted the help, however, I didn't want to burden others so I did my best to solve challenges on my own.

I caused myself a lot of energy loss and exhaustion, and created an aloof exterior that kept people from being able to connect with me deeply. By doing so, I also kept many loving friendships and experiences at a distance too. I simply didn't want to seem weak in any way. In fact, I was even proud of how much "I could take!"

If I was to speak to that younger Yvette now, I would advise her to love herself more, be gentle and kind with herself, and that keeping people away in this way would hurt both them and her/me, and that she would miss out on many beautiful heart nourishing experiences as a result.This version of strength, I later realized, was brittle, and could easily crumble to pieces if challenged with one of life's many storms.

As we all know; life has a way of teaching us profound lessons, often through unexpected channels.

After two decades of teaching martial arts and yoga, I noticed a curious pattern. The students who exhibited incredible strength weren't the ones with bulging muscles or unwavering stoicism. It was those with supple bodies and adaptable mindsets who showed the greatest resilience and fortitude. They bent without breaking, flowed around obstacles, and bounced back from setbacks with grace and humility. They were also highly coachable and didn't stubbornly hold on to ideas that weren't able to bring out the best in them.

This realization sparked a transformation in my understanding of strength:

Old view of strength:

• Never admitting vulnerability.
• Refusing help, even when needed.
• Working nonstop without breaks.
• Suppressing emotions.
• Rigidly adhering to plans and beliefs.

New view of strength:

• Embracing vulnerability as a path to connection.
• Asking for and accepting help gracefully.
• Prioritizing self-care and work-life balance.
• Expressing emotions honestly and openly.
• Adapting flexibly to new situations and ideas.

I came to see that true strength isn't about being impenetrable or unmovable. It's about having the courage to be open, the wisdom to be flexible, and the resilience to keep growing.

Like water, which can be both gentle and powerful, true strength adapts to its container. It can be soft and yielding when needed, yet also possess the power to wear away mountains over time. 

The bull whip too, provides a striking illustration of this principle. Its incredible flexibility is precisely what enables its lightning-fast movement, culminating in a crack that literally breaks the sound barrier. This seemingly paradoxical combination - extreme flexibility producing immense power - epitomizes our new understanding of strength. Just as the whip's suppleness allows it to build momentum and unleash force far beyond what a rigid object could achieve, our own flexibility in mindset, emotions, and approach can unlock levels of resilience and impact we never thought possible.  

This shift in perspective didn't happen overnight. It took years of introspection and countless humbling experiences, to realize that vulnerability isn't weakness – it's the cornerstone of genuine connection and personal growth.

Now, I see strength in:

• The executive who admits they don't have all the answers.
• The parent who asks for help when overwhelmed.
• The friend who shares their struggles openly.
• The team member who voices a dissenting opinion respectfully.
• The individual who changes their mind in light of new information.

These acts of "vulnerable strength" require far more courage than maintaining a façade of invincibility.

I'm curious about your experiences. Has your concept of strength evolved over time? What moments or insights catalyzed this shift for you? How has embracing a more flexible, vulnerable form of strength impacted your life and relationships?

How we can cultivate this nuanced strength in ourselves and support it in others? After all, in a world of constant change, our ability to adapt, connect, and grow might be the greatest strength we possess.

Hi, I'm Yvette, a holistic health consultant, bio-resonance expert, speaker, and author with over 25 years of clinical experience guiding individuals to create lives they love.

My work is focused on addressing the root causes of chronic conditions and empowering people to live their life vision. The founder of the LOV.I.M method and rejuvenating programs, I specialize in helping high-achieving men and women overcome perfectionism and self-doubt, while relieving loneliness and anxiety. Embrace vibrant health, and elevate your life and your organization's success.

Start your path to wellness today by booking a 1:1 complimentary discovery call. https://lnkd.in/gBJHrMA3