Redefining success: Happiness unpacked.

If you are someone who likes to have a scientific approach to life, meaning you don't believe what people tell you unless you can check it, or prove it, and you are not a follower in general; you might be experiencing a hard time looking to take distance and abstract yourself from social media. While the information presented gives us sometimes the opportunity to be informed and even learn certain things, it can make us more consumers rather than producers of ideas. While some content might be helpful to know, it takes a great deal of time and it is presented in a rather disorganized manner.

I always say to family and friends "I like to read books rather than watch TV"; in an attempt to explain that I don't find so much value in being an expectator of information that is presented to me. I rather read books with the content I want and need to learn because "I can choose what I want to learn, or I choose what I should do know right now", and that simple distinction, can make a huge difference between staying as a "follower" of news, influencers, and tips, or having the opportunity to decide how do you invest your precious time.

I came to the topic of today, which is Redefining success, thanks to the visit of a good friend who was visiting us from Australia this summer. For some reason, he wanted to discuss the topic of how much effort took him to become a business owner since the moment he started in his 20's and the balance of his career looking back. What he said was: "I am not sure if I made the best choice by being a business owner all those years because perhaps I could have reached the same goals in another way".

He was for for some reason becoming vulnerable and making a reflection about his life choice of becoming a business owner, and the alignment between that decision and the implications of this for the rest of his life.

Here's my take on an addition to this discussion that I want to share with you today. My friend Phil (that is his name), was making a reflection about his idea of success, and he wanted to enlight me and my friends who are younger than him about the fact that you don't always have to take the most difficult path and choices in your life to reach your goals. Making a reflection on his past, he has actually understood that happiness and meaning can be in other (places) of his life, next to doing business, and therefore he wanted to clarify to us that we can reach our important goals in another way.

Remembering this discussion gives me the opportunity to make an important distinction about why people make certain choices in their lives. In my view, it is not so much about what you decide to do, as your ability to enjoy it and stay consistent with yourself and with your life goals. For example, if you are a father or mother, and for some reason, you are spending most of your life and time working rather than with your family and you feel you are missing out often things and your own life, you might need to review your career goals, and see how your "financial" goals are taking over a great deal of your happiness and life. Luckily my friend Phil just became a father at the age of 48, so he will have plenty of time available to spend with his young daughter now that he is almost retired or working at a less active pace.

Another example: Kate is a marketing director who loves her job. She is also passionate about it. However, she often feels threatened by a very uncertain and changing work environment, and the changes in technology such as OpenAI which make her doubt the continuity and direction of her position in a multinational. Her job in this way is becoming more and more stressful for her, sometimes she feels bullied, and it costs a great deal of her time and energy to keep the rest of her team motivated and working together to deliver outstanding results. She seems to get little help when it comes to supporting her employees in those aspects of personal development that will help them greatly do their jobs. She is also a firm believer that people can reach their goals if they set their mind for it.

What would be in your opinion a good choice for Kate? 1) To stay as a marketing director in her company, 2) change employer, or 3) start that side hustle ( a marketing agency) that she always dreamed about and already had in mind for a number of years? The latter will give her more freedom of creation, a new challenge, and (given that she has one child), will allow her to have the lifestyle that she has been looking for for years; which is spending more time at home, and having more time to spend with her daughter and husband.

There is no right or wrong answer to these important life questions, and just as my friend Phill last summer in that amazing Brazilian bar in Rotterdam provided me and my friends with an excellent reflection of his life, it makes sense for certain individuals no matter their age, to stay strong for the challenges that life presents to them.

As long as you stay committed and clear about the responsibility that your choices are giving you, and you wish to keep going with motivation and self-confidence, you will never go wrong. You must always listen to yourself and also consider yourself an important person in your life, rather than putting everyone and everything above you.

The experience of happiness can be as simple as enjoying the smile of a person you see on the street, to fulfilling the complexities of growing a business. It is all-encompassing.

Question to you: What would real success look like for you? I mean the total picture. Where would you be, with whom, how do you feel, what are you doing?

I wish you a fantastic Monday and week from my desk while I listen to my favorite music: rock band The Killers.

Liveurbest life.

With love,

Roselyn