Reflect, don't react

Three words I often find myself saying—not only to myself but also to the people I work with.

For the past few years, I've been observing both in myself and in others, the challenge of pausing between the consumption of new information and our reactions. Once I began to suspend judgment and observe the origins of my reactions, I noticed a pattern: my reactions often stemmed from -

Ignorance: I realized that I sometimes assumed I knew all there was to know. This ignorance was actually rooted in a lack of curiosity, which itself was based on a lack of humility.

Attachment: My attachment to certain thoughts, assumed outcomes, or even to people and places, clouded my judgment. This attachment, when viewed with compassion, uncovered a deeply ingrained sense of scarcity.

Desire: The longing to be right, to be recognized, to be seen, and to be heard.

Anger: Stemming from unmet desires or blocked ambitions.

Aversion: Born from my value judgments about things and people—categorizing them as good/bad, right/wrong.

Recognizing these patterns has helped me to take a moment to pause and reflect on my immediate responses. From my experience, this pause can allow us to respond from a place of informed choice rather than from an unexamined impulse, leading to a more fulfilling and less conflicted existence.

Becoming aware of and examining these underlying drivers of our behavior can be transformative, not just on a personal level, but also in our relationships with others. It paves the way for growth, learning, and connection, founded on compassion and understanding rather than judgment and conflict.

Have you observed similar patterns in your own behavior?