Reflections on Change: Surrounding Yourself While Understanding the Value of Self-Management (Part 4)

When facing radical changes, whether it's the loss of a loved one or a significant transformation at work, the support of those around us becomes a crucial pillar for navigating the transition. After my wife's passing, I experienced firsthand the power of accompaniment. Family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and acquaintances all showed up in one way or another. While their presence didn’t take away the pain, their companionship lightened the burden, making me feel less alone in that painful process.

I particularly remember how my parents, the day after my wife passed, moved in with my son and me. My mother even slept beside me during the first few weeks, temporarily filling the void left by my wife. Her presence somehow made the bed feel less empty, allowing me moments of comfort to sleep. That companionship was invaluable: although it couldn’t replace what I had lost, it allowed me to breathe and take small steps forward. In those early moments, being surrounded by those who cared about me made me feel supported, as though I wasn’t alone on this new and painful path.

The Value of Support in the Workplace

Just as in my personal experience, organizations undergoing transformations—whether structural changes, new technologies, or strategic adjustments—benefit greatly from the support of colleagues and leaders. Surrounding yourself with teammates and leaders who are navigating the same transition or who understand what you're going through creates a vital support network. Much like my parents, family, and friends helped me through the early stages of my grief, in the workplace, colleagues can offer that safe space to share doubts, fears, and hopes.

Although my colleagues couldn’t fully understand what I was feeling, their presence and willingness to be there made me feel less alone. In organizations, even if your teammates or leaders don’t share your exact experience, being surrounded by them during times of change fosters a sense of community and support that eases the process. Instead of going through change alone, simply having someone to share the emotional and mental weight makes the burden lighter.

Leaders as Change Companions

In this context, leaders play a crucial role. Just as my parents became my emotional companions during my grief, in organizations, leaders must go beyond giving instructions to providing human support. A good leader is someone who, during moments of transformation, is there to listen, guide, and set an example of how to adapt. The trust that comes from knowing your leader is available and willing to support you gives you the strength to move forward.

Accepting Support and Knowing When to Let Go

As important as accepting the support of others is knowing when to let go. I remember the moment, about a month after my wife’s passing when I decided to ask my parents to return to their home. I felt it was time to walk alone, to face my new reality without relying on their constant presence. I knew the void wouldn’t disappear, but I also understood I had to learn to live with it. Similarly, in the workplace, there comes a time when, despite the initial support from colleagues and leaders, each individual must take ownership of the change themselves.

This process of letting go isn’t easy. For me, it meant accepting the reality of my wife’s absence and understanding that, although my parents’ initial support was crucial, they couldn’t stay forever. I had to face my new reality. The same happens in organizations: teams may rely on the support of their colleagues and leaders in the early stages of change, but there comes a point when everyone must take charge of their adaptation process.

The Importance of Self-Management

A key lesson I’ve learned is that in any process of change, we must also learn to self-manage. Over time, the visits, calls, and messages of support start to diminish—not because people stop caring, but because life moves on. This is a natural part of any support process: the intensity fades, and you must take control of your own adaptation journey. The same is true in the workplace. Initial support is crucial, but it isn’t eternal. Eventually, it’s expected that each person has assimilated the change and is ready to move forward independently.

Just as I had to let go of my parents and embrace my new life with my son, in organizations, employees must learn to self-manage, identify their resistances, and work on them. Change doesn’t stop because one individual struggles to adapt. At some point, everyone must take responsibility for their part in the process, and the ability to self-manage is key to both personal and organizational success.

Conclusion: Balancing Support and Autonomy

Ultimately, in both personal life and work, change is a process that requires balancing being supported and learning to walk alone. Surrounding yourself with the right people in the early stages is fundamental, but eventually, you must let go and take control of your change process. In my life, the support of my parents, friends, and colleagues gave me the initial strength to start moving forward, but it was my ability to accept the new reality that allowed me to continue.

Similarly, in organizations, the support of colleagues and leaders is vital, but true adaptation comes when each person takes control of their process. Change is inevitable, and what defines how we navigate it is our ability to balance accompaniment with self-management. While support networks give us a push, real success comes when we learn to manage change from within, taking the reins of our transformation.

Looking Ahead to the Next Reflection

In my next reflection, I would like to share how, beyond the support of family and friends, my son and I found great value in seeking professional help through psychological therapy. These sessions were key to helping us healthily process grief and move forward in adapting to our new reality.

Similarly, in organizations, this type of specialized support is provided by change management experts. At Lean Solutions Group , a company I’m deeply proud of, we have established the Digital Change Management team, which I have the honor of leading. This team seeks to accompany the organization, its teams, and collaborators through the transition and adoption of changes that are part of our digital transformation strategy.