Remembering Irwin on his 3rd Yahrzeit

Today is the third yahrzeit (Yiddish for anniversary of a death on the Jewish calendar) for my BFFB or best friend from birth, Irwin Feldman. He died on April 4, 2020 of Covid-19. I was recovering from my own very bad bout with Covid and was unable to attend his funeral. In fact, at that time, very few people were able to attend funerals. The only attendees were his wife Shanna, daughter Becca and my wife Dinah and my daughter Rina as well as Irwin and Shanna's Rabbi. It was awful.

I was able to finally eulogize my buddy a bit over a year later during the unveiling (Jewish tradition of "unveiling" the tombstone typically 11-12 months after the funeral). I wanted to share my eulogy from that day as a way to pay tribute to Irwin. Below is that eulogy.

That laugh. That huge hearty Irwin laugh was the number one thing people talked to me about, about Irwin after his passing. What laugh? 55 years of friendship. My brother from another mother. My best friend from birth. Our mothers grew up in Brooklyn in the same apartment building. Our grandmothers were friends in that building. Laugh? Sure, we had plenty of them. But I guess it was lost on me in life and re-discovered in death. Everyone talked about that laugh. To me it was just Irwin. Always took it for granted. But, it epitomized the larger than life person he was. The resilient person he was. He never had it easy. At times, it seemed like a black cloud followed him many of the days of his life. Being the son of Sally and Cy was no easy task. And he was the best son. Took care of Sally in sickness and I guess in sickness. He gave Cy more chances than anybody else ever would have. This was Irwin. That black cloud lifted so much with Shanna and then Becca coming into his life. They completed him. And he completed them.

PAUSE

Knowing each other forever, it wasn’t supposed to be this way. In our early Hebrew school days at the Forest Hills Jewish Center, we were going to learn to speak Hebrew so our parents wouldn’t know what we were talking about just like they did with their small touches of Yiddish. We were supposed to grow old together. Retire together.

With the exception of Hebrew school and a few summers at the Central Queens Y day camp, we often weren’t together – never having gone to school or college together. Never having worked in the same industry. We were always bonded together. Always came back to each other. Always hugging each other well before it was acceptable for guy-hugs.

I was so thrilled when he got opportunities at Chase to work in my area of banking. And as he made his mark on the teams in commercial banking and then treasury management, our worlds which collided in so many ways over the years, so many of you here today, our world collided once again. One of my proudest moments was Irwin recanting a story not more than 2 year ago, about how proud he was to be my friend upon hearing about my accomplishments in the industry from his colleagues at Chase who were my former colleagues at Wells Fargo. He recanted, “that’s my Seth. I’m so proud of him.”

Irwin. I loved you like a brother. A big piece of me is gone forever. Rest in peace my friend. I’ll see you on other side in Gan Eden where I’ll be able to appreciate that laugh more than I ever did on earth. 

Thank you for reading this. It is so deeply personal and while LinkedIn is not always the place for personal, it is a space that I feel very comfortable sharing.