The Report Card

I was meditating on death, as I do often. I think because I have seen so much of it over the past 39 years working in mental health. And in my personal life, I have lost just about half of my family before age 60. And that gets you thinking. I think it terms of time. What I am doing with the time that I am afforded? And then flash…I see myself on my deathbed reading my report card. Report card? Let’s get into it…

I believe in God, but probably not like most others. Sure I was a chaplain for many years. Yes, I have a degree in divinity. No, I don’t have any use for religious doctrine. What I do have use for is time. And time is a vehicle to collect experiences and question. So do yourself a favor. Whatever you were taught as a child, you owe it to yourself to examine outside of your comfort zone. You may in fact come back to what you believed as a child. But you will have a greater appreciation and a richer life for it.

So, I am on my deathbed. What is on my report card? I see things like, did I love enough? Was I grateful? Did I contribute to others that may have taken a load off for them? Was I a safe place? I will not be concerned with how much money I made. How big my house was. Or, how well I was liked? To me, that’s ego talking. And I put ego to bed a long time ago.

If I were to grade my report card as of tonight, I would give myself passing marks. But here’s the thing, I have so much more to learn, contribute, and reconcile. That is why time is so important to me. I don’t know when I will get my final report card. But I will say, I am keenly aware of the energy I bring to this planet. And I guess that is the most important grade we can get. May your report card say you made a difference.