Resilience: Overcoming Challenges During a Layoff

To Growth & Humility

At some point in my career, I experienced a lay off that has taught me so many great lessons about life. It made me truly understand how life can be so beautiful during darkness and that our journey can have many roads that can lead to amazing opportunities but most importantly, how it helped me navigate towards personal growth in becoming a better version of myself.

Sharing my story is a way of closing and releasing a chapter of my life that will allow for a new story to evolve and I hope that it can help anyone going through any similar situation on how to overcome difficult times to the best of their abilities.

Here Is My Story

One of the scariest things that can happen to anyone is losing financially stability or in my case, having to comprehend the following words that shook me to my core:

"The Company is proceeding with a Reduction in Force event which is affecting a significant portion of the employee base across most teams. Your team is affected. Unfortunately, your position and the responsibilities associated with it have been eliminated . We do not currently have another position for you, so this means that you are being laid off."

Even though receiving such news is something I was not prepared for, it is most certainly a potential expected outcome for which we all should consider preparing for since no one is indispensable to any organization and life always has a funny way of surprising us with "curve balls". The news itself is a shock, but what transpired after the fact is what truly changed me both mentally and emotionally for better and or worse (depending on your perspective).

From Fear to Acceptance

Initially, I felt frantic, I knew that this made me vulnerable because I had just learned that I was no longer secured financially and I was not well prepared because I never thought that being laid off was something that could ever happen to me given that I had built a prominent foundation in my career over that past 11 years as a great leader in the Tech Industry. I did know that I could never be "fired" because I've always been very passionate about my work and very responsible but the only reason I could not have a job was by external factors for which was not in my control hence a "layoff".

I was worried and concerned because I did not have much of a support system I can fall back on in case of such matters and that made me very scared because this meant that I had to confront this unexpected situation on my own. It was important for me to steer away from the anxiety and fear and begin to accept my new situation with logic and clarity but at the same with grace and humility.

Birds Eye View & Game Plan

Following my disruption regarding several emotions and all that stirred in me, I needed to understand where I stood and with what I could count on given the circumstances:

• What were my resources & options available to me?
• What would be my approach to engage for new opportunities?
• What was my current financial baseline considering my upcoming costs & expenses?
• What actions I needed to take to safeguard & extended my current budget ( cost effectiveness)?
• What tools & techniques I could use to propel my chances in securing a new opportunity?

Those were my initial questions that helped me have a holistic view of what my current status was so that I can better prepare for what was to come to the best of my ability and capacity. In hindsight, I was trying to gear up for something that I had no visibility or control over and to some this may seem crazy and even scary but I still needed to create some sort of plan to find peace of mind but most importantly to motivate myself to continue to stay positive in such a challenging time. 

As a Project/Program Manager, I quickly began to establish a Game Plan to highlight and/or identify all of the critical risks, issues, assumptions, dependencies and the resources I had available at the time which meant exposing the good and the bad. I also had to plan out my budget, costs pertaining food and housing and for how long I could extend and/or burn my cash flow assuming my plan(s) would be successful. I knew very well that the main dependency was one that I had no control over and even if I executed things "perfectly", being dependent on an employee to choose you over another candidate came down to many different factors and their own preferences. Sometimes being the best does not mean you will get the Gold.

Rejections & Uncertainty

During 8 months, I tried several approaches to submit applications, I wrote my resume 4 different times and created 6 different cover letters with support from AI tools on specific keywords, I used all of the Job search engines that I believed were reliable ( ZipRecruiter, LinkedIn, Glassdoor & Indeed) and I went directly to company's websites. In addition, I used my close professional network to help bring my resume to a hiring manager. Despite sending out my resume every day for a period of 8 months and receiving thousands of rejections from employers, I tried my best to stay positive and did not give up.

My living situation was not ideal but I was lucky enough to have a friend's couch to use & free wifi during 2.5 months but even that came with its challenges. I was taught from an early age that when someone lends you a hand, the honorable thing to do is to try to repay them in any way. My way of repaying the help I was receiving was to cook & clean. I found myself having 2 jobs; Looking for a job was a full time job itself , then I would take on the chores of the house almost as if I had assumed the role of the "housekeeper" without consent.  This new role I took on was more detrimental than positive as it became a monotoned way of living and in return I received humiliation, manipulation and ungratefulness.  

With every rejection came many doubts for which manifested into negative thinking to the point where I began to question myself on my skills as a professional, my worth as a human being and even my ability to overcome such low blows that life had sent my way. My mind started to take charge and for a while, it sustained a negative way of thinking that showed me an easy way out resulting in suicidal thoughts. As someone that has struggled with mental health issues for several years , I knew well enough that my mind has spiraled into a negative state of mind and thankfully from past therapy sessions that I received, I needed to take back control of my mind and thoughts if I wanted to overcome this part of this journey.

Tips & Suggestions for Job Searches

• Initiate your Job search with a plan in mind: How many applications you want to apply on a daily basis, what are your ideal companies, what is your salary range expectations within the current market, what job descriptions fit best with your skills and experience etc... You can also try using different role titles that are still within scope of your primary role title as some companies use different role titles but the job descriptions can fit with your current role
• Only use Job search engines that are reliable & trustworthy: ZipRecruiter, LinkedIn, Glassdoor & Indeed & set up the right filters when performing the job search: Salary, job type, industry, experience level, location etc so that you can also set up email notifications on new open jobs from the different job search engines based on predetermined filters as mentioned above
• Revamp your resume as well as your cover letter using resources such as; Resume.io, Canva, ChatGPT, Tealhq ( there are more in the market but those were the ones I used). In addition, it is always good to revisit your past experience and skills to better help you prepare for interview questions. In addition, use your Professional Networking; If you have peeps in high places in companies, share with them your resume to help bring you one foot in the door or reach out to ex colleagues to see if they can help you crack open a new door
• Always be prepared as much as possible regarding; company mission & vision as well as their culture, Q & A on potential questions that you may be asked with clear examples / situational answers and have your own set of questions to ask the hiring manager(s). It also also important to keep track of your interviews so that you can too follow up on their process
• Practice makes perfect! Record yourself on the Q & A on potential questions/ assessments and/or presentations and give yourself feedback on what you did well and where you can improve so that ultimately you can reduce the nerves, the anxiety and boost your confidence level in answering with ease. But don't be afraid to change things up, whether it is your way of answering questions, your approach in searching for new jobs, your body language or the way you execute your presentations / assessments
• Don't take rejections personally, remember that you are not the only one on the search and for that Gold! Never think that because you made it to the last stage of the hiring process that the job is yours and try to keep your options open because as I said, just because you fit the role does not mean you may be chosen in the end. Just be thankful for the opportunities and welcome new ones with grace and humility BUT do not give up!
• Use your best judgment ( "gut feeling") when getting interviewed by any company because there are some red flags to watch out for: The way you are being asked questions, the person on the other end may steer away from the common interview questions or you may get the sense that you are being interrogated as opposed to being interviewed. Following the previous point, the interview process goes both ways, just as you are getting interviewed, you should also interview the company and have your own set of criteria when speaking with several stakeholders at different stages of the process because you wouldn't want to get hired for a company that is not aligned with your values and principles as well as your professional aspirations

The Light of Resilience

More than landing a job, I never wanted anything more than to have peace of mind even if that meant letting go of all that no longer served me. I needed to let go of all negative things that were surrounding me to allow for space for new positive energies to flow to me. That encompassed letting go of people that were no longer vibrating at my frequency, letting go of all material possessions, letting go of the fear of having no money & status, letting go of any environment that was toxic and negative and releasing all of the negative thoughts that were living rent free in my mind. Finally, I had to surrender the need for control and this one was by far the hardest one to overcome.

After doing that "Cleanup", I had to remind myself of who I was and all that I have accomplished throughout my life both good and bad and that I too was worthy of many beautiful things despite doubting myself, feeling scared and disrespecting my own boundaries. I also had to forgive those who had done me wrong but most importantly, I had to forgive myself and let go of any guilt I accumulated during this experience. I learned to love myself again in a time where I thought all was lost. Putting my trust in the Universe is what set me free.

Ironically, I landed a job that I did not apply to but rather found me in a time where I was planning on giving up. And it turned out to be a job that aligned with my career aspirations as well as personal values. Life really does have a funny way of surprising us when we least expect it in order to remind us that indeed there is calm after the storm and that when you give good to the world, the Universe returns it when the time is right, not when you feel like it is. Patience is truly a virtue as attributed by William Langland.

Lessons Learned

• DO NOT GIVE UP - TRY AND TRY AGAIN: Before powerful tools were invented, breaking a boulder was a hard process to say the least as it was done by hitting the rock again and again with a sledgehammer. Nonetheless, swinging that hammer time and time again meant many blows until it was split in half. You never know when that hit may be the "last" swing before cracking open that new opportunity
• SOME THINGS JUST TAKE TIME: Warren Buffet, as we know to be one of the most successful investors of our time was asked “why do people not just copy your simple and yet brilliant investment techniques?” and his response without hesitation was "Because nobody wants to get rich slowly." Don't rush into things out of desperation and keep focus on the end goal
• ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN B: It is important that life can change for us in an instant, and being as prepared as possible is imperative. Keep nurturing your savings account in case of a "rainy day" or in my case a potential "lay off" or even a sudden emergency because you never know when you will need it and you cannot expect or demand of others to help you when you can't even help yourself
• EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU CREATE:  As Albert Einstein said, "Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it.. Match the frequency of the energy you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics." This means that you must align your subconscious with your conscious mind or in other words, if you think of one thing but feel another, then you are in misalignment and therefore cannot manifest what you desire
• YOU HAVE THE POWER: There will always be external factors that you have no control over. Remember that ONLY YOU have the POWER to allow others to cause you hurt, the moment you allow others/things to hurt you, that is when you have given "them" POWER over you. Take and keep that power as it is yours and only comes within. As Marcus Aurelius stated in his Meditations “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”

AMOR FATI, Learn to love your fate.