Rethinking The Stories We Tell
~Stephanie Staples~ 🇨🇦 Revitalization Specialist
Revitalizing Conferences, Workplaces & Lives! Click the RING around my photo ☝️🏽. Inspirational, relevant and actionable programs delivered remotely or in-person for people who are 'nice for a living'! 🎤
One day while at the store with my young son, he wanted to buy (yet another) Matchbox car, I mindlessly told him we couldn't afford it. 💰
"But if we could afford it, then you would buy it for me, right Mommy?" he replied.
His question stopped me in my tracks.
I realized that what I had been telling him was not true. I was just using the 'we can't afford it' line as a quick response that didn't require any thought on my part and stopped his asking.
I explained to him that we actually could afford it but that we already had so many toys at home we didn't need this one, too and maybe he could put it on his birthday wish list.
I realized that we can afford most things that we want, it just may take more time to get it, or we may choose to give something else precedence, but not being able to afford it was, mostly, not a true story. I needed to stop feeding the 'lack' mentality.
More recently, while at the playground, that same son's son (age 6) asked me to do something 'wild' on the swing. As I thought about performing this 'feat', my nephew who was with us (and his 6-year-old son), said, "I just tell him I'm too old when he asks me to do stuff like that!" 👴🏼
Different lie, same response - the child stopped asking.
Better, perhaps, to say "My leg is sore, so that probably wouldn't be a smart thing for me to do right now." or "No, thank you, I'd rather not." instead of blaming his age, which was not why he couldn't do it.
While we chuckled at his response, I thought, screw that, I am not too old to perform this 'feat' and so I proceeded to climb on the swing and everyone laughed and I didn't break anything!
Upon reflection, I wondered...
What other lies we were telling (mostly ourselves)?
What other old stories do we keep repeating?
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What messages we are sending to others when we say these untruths?
With my son - did I want his little brain to focus on abundance and how blessed we are to have so much or do I want him to think that we constantly lacked money?
With my grandson - do I want him to think that older people are always limited or that because a person is older they must say no to fun, adventure or trying new things.
Heck no!
Now...your life, your version, your plan...
Listen to yourself talking and hear what is coming out of your mouth time and again.
What is an old story you keep repeating to yourself (or others) that is simply not true?
How can you change, or reframe, that story to leave a positive and true message?
Made ya think (I hope!), Steph : )
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