Rules of Belonging

Belonging is a fundamental human need that involves feelings of acceptance, value, emotional connection, and mutual respect. Companies who foster a culture of belonging create a rich environment for people to do their best work and thrive. According to a McKinsey report from May 2022, "Toxic workplace behavior is the biggest driver of negative workplace outcomes." And an Accenture report from 2020 states, "Two thirds of leaders (68%) feel they create empowering environments where people have a sense of belonging, yet just one third (36%) of employees agree." The article mentions that closing this gap is costing the world $3.7T in profits. That is a staggering amount of money left on the table.  

If belonging plays such a huge role in the triple bottom line: Profit, Purpose & People - how do we even begin to repair the culture cracks that might exist in your company? The first place to start is with belonging and getting clear about what it means to you, your team and your workforce. If you were to run an employee survey with an open-ended question asking each person their definition of belonging, you would get different answers. It's not about everyone having the same definition, but rather getting clear on what you want to create in terms of the rules of engagement…or in this case, belonging. 

Every company has their own rules of belonging– created consciously or unconsciously – these rules provide guidance as to:

What behaviors are celebrated and rewarded?

• Example, “Share your opinion rather than harbor resent. Disagree respectfully. And embrace different opinions and perspectives.”

What behaviors are not tolerated? 

• Example, “Don’t speak up unless you know what you’re talking about. If you can’t defend your position then don’t waste everyone’s time.”

What behaviors create high-trust interactions? 

• Example: Checking in during 1:1s and creating space to connect personally or instead of disagreeing right out of the gate, getting curious and asking more probing questions.

What behaviors create low-trust interactions?

• Example, maybe being interrupted is fine for some folx, but challenging for others. Or asking direct reports if they prefer to receive constructive feedback in a 1:1 or are they open to hearing it in front of their peers.

Belonging plays a vital role in our sense of engagement, value and contribution. It's important to be aware that when our need for belonging is not available or lacking in some way, our motivation levels plummet and we lose the drive to contribute. This is how high performing people fall to the wayside.

Asking these behaviors-based questions above can significantly promote belonging which leads to higher levels of performance and retention. And if left uninspected and unaddressed, they can quickly corrode psychological safety, trust and performance. The first step to creating the style of belonging you want at your company is to identify what rules of belonging are running at your company today, and what rules of belonging you aspire to create instead (or in addition to).

Performance check: What are the top 3 to 5 rules of belonging at your company? How do they impact well-being and performance across the board?