The sales exec secret - how building rapport can transform your negotiation

In negotiations, women often find themselves walking a tightrope. Expectations are often paradoxical: women are often advised not to appear "too aggressive" or "overly assertive." Yet, they are simultaneously expected to exude confidence, be understanding, and receptive. This dichotomy often leads to a repeating question I encounter from colleagues and clients: "How do you strike the right balance?"

The answer, in my perspective, is rooted in the art of building rapport. This seemingly simple skill can actually help negotiation outcomes, leveling the playing field in scenarios that often seem stacked against women.

Borrowing from the Sales Playbook

What does sales have to do with salary negotiations or job interviews? At its core, a lot. Salespeople, by the very nature of their job, have mastered the art of understanding their customers before making a pitch. If we were to borrow this approach, we'd see ourselves, especially in the context of a job interview, as sellers of a unique set of services – our skills and competencies.

A seasoned salesperson doesn't just launch into a pitch. They invest time in discerning what the customer is thinking, what their needs are, and how best to position their product or service. This approach is precisely what's needed in professional negotiations.

Anticipating Unspoken Questions

When you're on the other side of the table, and as you are asking probing questions, try to visualize what is running through the interviewer's or manager's mind -

1. Competence: Does this person possess the necessary skills and expertise for the role?
2. Understanding of Needs: Can this person discern the company's requirements and adapt accordingly?
3. Perceived Impact: What value will they bring to the table that doesn't already exist today in the team?
4. Differentiation: What is unique about this person?
5. Risk Assessment: Are there potential challenges in bringing this person onboard?
6. Commitment: Are they in it for the long haul?
7. Trust and Value: Can I trust this person to deliver on their promises, and do they see long-term value in the association?

By addressing these questions proactively during your interactions, you position yourself not just as a candidate, but as the star solution to their needs.

The Power of Validation

While it's natural to focus on oneself during negotiations, the real magic lies in validating the other party. The best sales people do this effortlessly. When your manager or prospective employer recognizes your genuine effort to grasp and tackle their challenges, you've effectively set the stage for your 'sales pitch' and its inherent value. The golden key? Active listening. During rapport-building, prioritizing listening over speaking paves the path to genuine validation and understanding.

"Many sellers are too caught up in what they are saying...that they actually stop listening. Tune into what your (customer) is saying and tune out everything else."

Rainmaking Conversations by Mike Schultz & John E. Doerr

If you are ready to build rapport and negotiate for a well deserved pay raise or job offer, check out the FREE training at dorothymashburn.com