Sales Isn’t Just Pitching & Price: It’s Connecting the Dots with People and Their Values

When I first started in sales, I didn’t have a fully developed plan. What I did have was a natural curiosity and an instinct for connecting with people. Without realizing it, I quickly became a top industry performer—not because I could talk features or recite product specs, but because I genuinely wanted to help and understand what made each customer tick.

As I found success—breaking company sales records and building high-performing teams—I grew curious about what made my approach so effective. I read books, attended workshops, and explored the methods of leading sales mentors. I picked up tips, tricks, and techniques for overcoming objections. Yet even with all this new knowledge, my question lingered: Why was my approach different and so influential?

Over time, as I dove into human psychology, subconscious communication, and the nuances of body language, I found the answers I was looking for. I realized that selling isn’t about presenting a product or listing its features and benefits. While my ability to establish rapid rapport certainly helped, it too wasn’t the driving factor that moved each sale from start to finish.

What I discovered is that selling is about understanding how people think and what they value, then connecting with them in a way that resonates. There’s a famous book that advises, “If you want people to like you, ask them questions.” The message is simple: make the conversation about them—learn about their goals, hopes, and desires. While this advice is powerful, it only scratches the surface of what truly drives connection.

Through years of studying the human psyche, persuasive language, and subtle communication patterns, I found what made my approach uniquely effective.  Yes, people buy on emotion, and rapport is the foundation of trust, but the magic happens when we communicate to the subconscious desires and needs of the person, allowing them to feel seen and valued.

Note that this approach doesn’t just apply to individual salespeople—it’s transformative for entire teams, companies, and collective industry marketing efforts, as they work to reshape outcomes and build customer loyalty like never before. Here’s some of what I’ve learned and how I now teach teams to focus on people over products—unlocking their full potential.

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1. Putting People First, Product Second

As that famous book explained, people love to talk about themselves—it's often their favorite subject. Studies, as well as any lively dinner party, show that people enjoy interactions where they feel truly seen and heard. When someone experiences that feeling of connection, it triggers a powerful sense of trust and rapport, tapping into a subconscious principle of persuasion. By asking your customers about the things they enjoy, you place them in an emotional state of enjoyment as they share, which carries into the sale and offers an ideal precursor to decision-making.

While anyone can ask questions and focus on the customer, this approach is most effective when driven by a genuine interest in what the customer has to say. When you approach with curiosity, you create a subconscious and conscious bond, building instant rapport and gaining valuable insight into what matters to them and how they wish to be sold. This connection deepens trust and places the customer in the ideal emotional state to say “yes” to your offer.

2. Seeing, Hearing, and Feeling: Eliciting Their Motivation

Imagine trying to communicate with someone who doesn’t understand your language—how successful would that conversation be? Industries often use unique lingo to step into rapport, and while this can be effective when done naturally, there’s a deeper layer at play. Every person processes information uniquely, and as salespeople, tapping into this individual language can make or break a sale.

People absorb information through various channels—what they see, hear, feel, and analyze. While some may connect through listening, others might only truly engage when they see visuals, experience hands-on interaction, or hear the benefits laid out clearly. Effective selling involves tailoring communication to touch on these different processing styles, creating a well-rounded and inclusive approach that resonates with each customer.

But it’s more than just showing a chart to a visually inclined person. In sales, words convey internal emotional states and can evoke the sensations people rely on to process information. Visual thinkers respond well to phrases like “see for yourself,” “look at the potential,” or “it’s crystal clear.” Individuals categorized as feelers, who connect more with hands-on experiences, resonate with phrases like “how does that sit with you?” or “get a feel for this opportunity.”

A skilled salesperson can quickly identify a customer’s preferred style, but until you’ve mastered this, use language and concepts that encompass sight, sound, and feeling. By appealing to all processing styles, you increase the likelihood of connection and clarity, ultimately motivating your customer toward a confident decision.

3. The Order Matters: Guiding Through Their Experience

If I were to say, “The cow jumped over the moon,” you’d easily picture it. But if I said, “The cow overjumped the moon” or “The moon jumped over the cow,” the image shifts, right? The order in which we present information shapes meaning and clarity. When delivering a sales presentation, it’s essential to consider the natural sequence of your customer’s experience and present it in that order.

For example, when selling gym memberships and personal training programs, I always started at the front entrance, walked through check-in, and then covered the locker room, equipment, and training zones, step by step. This guided them through what would soon be their own fitness journey. Presenting information in the same sequence a customer would experience creates an unconscious sense of ease and familiarity. They walk away feeling complete in their understanding and confident in the choice.

Moreover, organizing information this way can minimize follow-up questions and clarify key points naturally, allowing customers to envision themselves post-purchase with a sense of independence. Establishing a thoughtful order isn’t just about following their future steps but also about fostering emotional security and building a foundation for a confident decision.

4. Who, What, Where – Huh??? Understanding Information Needs

Just as students learn in different ways, people also process information uniquely. In any conversation, we can tap into four main information styles to keep the listener engaged: those who need to know Why something matters, those who want to know What is being offered, those who focus on How it works, and those who are concerned with What Ifs. While no one falls exclusively into one category, people tend to lean toward one or more of these styles. Overlooking these differences can significantly impact your sales success.

Unless you’ve developed the skill to quickly identify your customer’s preferred style, the best approach is to address all four. Order is also key: for example, a customer who wants to know Why something is important will have little patience to dive into details about What it is or How it works before their need is met. Covering each area in sequence ensures your message resonates and keeps the customer engaged from start to finish.

5. Understanding Value Systems: The Hidden Motivation That Drives Every Decision

One of the most powerful tools in sales is understanding a customer’s value system—the unique priorities and motivations that shape their decisions. Everyone is driven by different forces, and when you frame your sales conversation with this in mind, your ability to connect with a prospect becomes exponentially greater. For example, some individuals are community-oriented, making decisions based on what’s best for the group, while others are lone achievers focused on what sets them apart. Some prioritize the richness of the experience or exclusivity, while others are drawn to how well a choice fits within a broader context.

No single value system is better than another, and as you interact with more clients, you’ll begin to notice who most represents your future customers. There are eight widely recognized value types you’re likely to encounter, and learning to identify and speak to each one can transform your approach. When a salesperson understands what truly matters to a customer, they can frame the presentation and use language to resonate with the customer’s values, desires, and expectations—leading to a “yes” that feels natural, time and again.

6. What You Believe About the Sale Shapes the Outcome

Let’s talk about you—the salesperson—because your mindset matters. In studies of top-performing salespeople across industries, price points, and demographics, one factor consistently sets them apart: their beliefs about the sales process itself. The highest achievers, those who continuously outperform others regardless of their lead lists, were shown to view the sale as a challenge to conquer, an engaging game where each opportunity provides a unique experience. For them, the tougher the lead, the more compelling the challenge.

Top performers often attribute their success to this approach, noting that their mindset directly impacts outcomes. If they believe a sale will go well, it generally does. And if doubts creep in? The results often reflect it. Just like athletes who experience winning and losing streaks, salespeople’s “slumps” or “hot streaks” are rooted in their mindset.

While it’s easy to say that a positive mindset is key, maintaining that outlook takes introspection. It requires a deep look into personal beliefs and values to uncover what holds one back from operating as their most authentic and successful self. Yet, when someone takes the time to refine their mindset, they open the door to results they may have only imagined before.

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The Power of People-Centric Sales

Over the years, I’ve witnessed the profound impact that a people-centered approach has on both teams and customers. When sales professionals move beyond product-focused pitches to connect on a genuine human level, they don’t just make sales—they build trust, foster loyalty, and create relationships that stand the test of time.

This approach transforms sales from a transaction into a meaningful exchange. Customers feel understood, sales teams feel empowered, and businesses enjoy deeper, more sustainable success.

If your organization is ready to elevate its sales strategy, let’s connect. Together, we can build a culture that goes beyond pushing products to truly understanding and serving your customers. Reach out, and let’s explore how a people-centered approach can reshape your sales and fuel long-term growth.