The Sales Skill That Helped Me Win My Wife

When you were starting out, was there one lesson that really made an impact on not just your business life but your personal life as well?

My first job out of college was as an agent assistant at the oldest talent agency in the country, the William Morris Agency (now William Morris Endeavor).  I worked hard, clients liked working with me, and I did a mildly OK job with the vast amounts of paperwork assigned to me.

At the time, I was an assistant to Charles Dorris.  You’ve probably never heard of him, but in the Nashville agent scene, he’s kind of a big deal. Early on in country music, he helped launch Reba McIntyre, Diamond Rio, and Ronnie Milsap, before switching over to Christian music, he signed many artists before anyone knew who they were including Steven Curtis Chapman, 4 Him, Point of Grace, Audio Adrenaline, Jaci Velasquez, Avalon, THE DARINS (my favorite), Switchfoot, Kutless, and then went on to book Petra, Sandi Patti, Twila, Newsboys, WhiteHeart, Kirk Franklin, CeCe Winans, and Mary-Mary.

One day this legend calls me into his office and tells me to close the door.

“Brian,” he said, “I’ve been listening to your calls, and I’ve noticed that after you ask a question, you don’t always let the client answer.”

This was true.  A call would often go something like this: “So what type of band are you looking for,” I’d ask, and then if there was any type of silence, I would launch into something like, “...because if you’re looking more for rock, this is a good band.  Or, this group will be in your area about that time.  You could also…” 

Basically, if there was any break in the conversation, I filled it.

Charles is thin and distinguished with glasses and a goatee.  If you’re a fan of Sherlock, Charles Dorris looks exactly like genius super-villain Charles Magnusson. Frankly, I'm glad CD is on our side.  

Charles leaned forward, cathedrals his fingers, and said “Brian, next time you’re on a call with a client, and you ask a question. And then I want you to wait.”

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Do you feel how uncomfortable that silence is? And you were just scrolling. I was sitting there, in a closed office, completely silent, for what felt like an eternity, but was really only about 30 seconds.

Finally, he nodded his head and said, “OK?” and I was dismissed.  Over the next weeks and months, I had to practice this uncomfortable feat of asking a question and then waiting for the client to respond, no matter how long it took.  Around this time, we signed a new pop R&B group called The Darins, made up of four sisters from southern California.  I thought the blonde sister was particularly attractive. 

Knowing I should be an agent but that there weren’t any openings in the near future, Charles and another agent Darren Tyler, connected me with a then-start-up bureau called Premiere Speakers Bureau.  Less than a month after starting at Premiere, I ran into the cute blonde girl from The Darins while ordering at Schlotzky’s Deli. Although it took a while, we finally went out that summer. 

On a very early date, I asked her a question.  Silence followed.  Like, forever.  It took everything in me not to jump in and fill the silence.  She finally answered, and what I realized is that this girl thought before she talked.

Had I jumped in and answered my question for her, I don't know where our relationship would have gone.  Would she have said to herself, “This guy won’t let me get a word in edgewise!” and we wouldn’t have been able to develop our relationship?

I’ll admit, I was a little proud of myself.  I’d listened, I’d learned a bit more about this not only pretty, but also a smart young woman, and I benefitted from it.

So my Valentine's Day advice to you, via my agent mentor Charles Dorris, is that next time you ask a question….listen.

BONUS

Do you want to see a 90s music video trying to be a 70s music video? This is my wife's first 'hit', called "All Along The Road."

Extra Bonus: Her sister Stacy normally sings lead, but without knowing it, my favorite song on the album, Take Me, which is kind of Abba-like, is the one song where Krista sings lead. I was like, "Take Me? Yes, I will take you."

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Brian Lord is the President of Premiere Speakers Bureau and the host of the Beyond Speaking Podcast. A 28-year speaking and entertainment industry veteran who started his first agency in his dorm room, Brian has done everything from running a non-profit and writing a comic strip to coaching youth softball and competing for TeamUSA in the duathlon age group world championships in Romania in 2022. He and his wife Krista enjoy raising their four kids outside of Nashville.