A Sardine in Lange Eng: stories from a community that works.

We all heard stories of our grandparents’ neighborhoods… how everyone knew each other, how families relied on one another, peer-to-peer was the norm, and in such times, people believed that “it takes a village to raise a child”.

In today's fast-paced society, we often like to think of ourselves as relatively immune to the sway of those around us while we each pursue our personal destiny.

But this is a story we like to tell ourselves rather than what really happens: our brain is wired to belong to communities.

Across many studies of mammals, from the smallest rodents all the way to us humans, the data suggests that we are profoundly shaped by our social environment and that we suffer greatly when our social bonds are threatened or severed.

So we instinctively feel it right to be part of a group, be of help, care about others, and generally see beyond our nose.

I believe Lange Eng is the perfect example of a community that works: where everyone helps each other, where you share many things, and you understand that “your freedom ends where it starts that of someone else”.

Located near a forest, 20 minutes by metro from downtown Copenhagen, the building was designed by a notorious Danish Architect, Dorte Mandrup, who prioritized the common spaces and the community of the families living here.

The place is shaped like a typical Danish block, surrounding a large common courtyard – a common green garden space where the community:

• Meets, talks, and gets to know each other,
• Brings the kids to play (on the slide or the wooden swing),
• Gets apples, plums, and blackberries planted throughout the garden,
• Uses the large picnic tables and benches to eat together,
• Enjoy the stunning nature of the place and the community's chicken, that supply fresh eggs on a daily basis.

Every house has a terrasse, and what’s on your terrasse, nobody can touch it; while whatever is in the Garden, everyone can use (a lot of toys, tools for gardening, apples, and plums…)  

In just 1 week since we moved here, we met at least 100 people from the 54 families that populate this wonderful cohousing community.

Everyone is curious to learn about the new families that join the community, so we got plenty of neighbors that came to introduce themselves, see if they can be of help, and lend anything we may have needed to sort things out.  

PS. The welcoming has certainly been a refreshing surprise for us: the truck with all our stuff and furniture broke down somewhere in Germany, so we have been camping in our empty home for one week…. and the girls are loving it :-)

The amount of help and warmth that a community can offer in just one week is unthinkable.

We got offered a coffee the very first morning when we arrived, we received toys for the kids to play with, pans and pots to cook, plates and cutlery, screwdrivers, table, and chairs. We could even borrow bikes to move around, and a car to go to Ikea…

One of our neighbors invited us to pick blackberries from a secret spot in the forest; another one brought us to the city hall to help us deal with the authorities and sort out the administrative procedures as newcomers in Denmark… we have been struck by the kindness of these gestures.

Things are just so wonderfully easy when people work together… and after you receive such warmth and support, I promise you can’t wait to give back as soon as you have the opportunity.

The intranet works outstandingly to connect all members: we receive 3-4 emails per day with any kind of invite, request, opportunities, and relevant news from/for the whole community… sometimes it’s relevant, sometimes it’s not, but one thing is sure: people are very active!

We asked questions on how to find the right kindergarten for the kids: we received several replies... and the most incredible one was that of a 16 years old who lives with his parents and his sister in the second house to our right. That’s amazing that even youth are actively involved.

This is not communism: everyone has his own life, his own 100+m2 house that gives to the garden. The houses have a magnificent 4 meters-high window which gives to the shared Garden:

But the Garden is not the only shared space:

• There is parking for bikes and cars, (with e-chargers),
• Storage rooms with any kind of tools (from gardening to fixing anything),
• Finally, there is a shared house of 600m2 that is co-owned by all the families: this is called the Faelled Husset.

Inside you have a professional kitchen for Cooking together and a place for dinners and parties for 200 people...A place for piano playing and toys for kids…Ping pong, mini cinema, a mini gym, a chillout area… and that’s all Self-managed.

The common spaces are certainly an enabler: they catalyze the energy of the community and provide several opportunities for people to cross-pollinate in unthinkable ways.

However, the real magic sauce that glues this community together is Cooking together

This is not a pleasant option, but a shared commitment that all families take when they move to Lange Eng. Shared meals occur every evening but Saturday.

Each person in the community is part of a cooking team (changed every year) that is in charge of cooking for everyone who wants to join 3 days every 5 weeks:

• The cooking team posts the recipe in the community intranet;
• The system allows seeing all the allergies/food intolerances + other preferences of all people that subscribe to the common dinner for a particular day;
• People who want to eat that day can specify whether they wish to eat in the common space, or simply get the food as a takeaway and eat it home with the family;
• Kids over the age of 11 are asked to join the cooking teams, so they are also initiated into community life.

Yesterday, I was part of the team that prepared 15 Kg of pasta with pesto made of pistachio and ricotta, with a combo of king prawns and Sun-dried tomatoes… for 140 people :D

The team was a mix of people from different families: we met at 3 pm, and cooked (and drank) together for 3 hours… It was a fabulous team-building activity, and we got to know each other while having a lot of fun.

The shared commitment is, first of all, a great filter to discourage all those people/families that are not in line with the open mindset of the community... people who may be simply looking for a flat but are not interested in contributing to anything outside of their family life.

On the other hand, the shared commitment is a powerful lever to foster social interactions and collaboration, through targeted norms and habits, which reinforce the members' bond and trust, and allow the community to thrive.

Beyond the cooking, members also must join one of the groups that take care of administering the community: from internal to external communication, gardening, building maintenance and fixing, activities for the kids, party group, etc... There are no pyramids but it’s a flat human organization governed by self-managed tribes, and transparency all the way.

I am increasingly aware of the influence of Danish culture for allowing such a model to work so elegantly and effectively.

Planning is clearly a battle-horse of the Danish society: things are never randomly organized and people put a lot of effort to make sure things go according to plan.

Families clearly share the same open mind and values to nurture the community and be active members. While in some cultures, conflict, and drama seems an inevitable component of everyday life, here people thame their ego and are willing to talk and negotiate till they find a workable solution to whatever the issue. Finally, families are never intrusive: people respect each others' spaces and privacy.

I believe that this plays a major role to make sure that the community’s engagement doesn’t degrade because of people that simply go too far… I still have my doubts that the same community filled with people from my village in Sardinia could ever make it to 1 month.

So, Cohousing is the real deal, and I strongly believe that these kinds of communities should be promoted by the EU in every country.

Just imagine if our same situation (i.e. with the whole relocation, the broken truck and the empty house), would have taken place in a traditional flat, where we’d have been terribly alone sorting everything out, after having just moved to a new city... This is just so much better, and we are so happy to be here.

I can only fantasize about the countless applications of such a model to better integrate society and fight loneliness...All it takes is to respect others and give up to a little bit of your “time” to actively contribute to the common vision of a functional neighborhood... and what you get in return is the warmth, support, and countless happy moments with 53 more families that live independently - but closer together.

PS.

Finally, the truck with all our stuff arrived...at 11:15pm 🤦♂️

6 amazing neighbors showed up at that time to help us unload 15m3 and 1,2 Tons of luggage, boxes, and furniture. Together, we finished in 20 minutes...and we spent 20 more drinking limoncello :D