Satire | Why do employees go home?

In the illustrious kingdom of Corp-land, where spreadsheets reigned supreme, and coffee flowed like a river, there lived a legendary boss named Sir Oblivious.

Sir Oblivious was known far and wide for his uncanny ability to remain blissfully ignorant of the simplest truths, especially regarding the mysterious concept of employees going home.

One fine day, as the clock struck 7:00 PM, signalling the end of the allowable overtime, Sir Oblivious looked around the office in utter bewilderment. He scratched his head, squinted at his employees packing their bags, and mumbled, "Why on earth would anyone leave this place when they must come back the next morning?"

His loyal subjects, the employees, exchanged puzzled glances but dared not challenge the wisdom of their oblivious leader. They continued their departure from the office, leaving behind a trail of unanswered questions and blurred laughter.

Sir Oblivious, determined to solve the mystery, summoned his most trusted advisor, Mr Spread-Shit, renowned for his love of numbers and disdain for common sense. Together, they embarked on a quest to understand the peculiar behaviour of employees leaving the office at the end of the day.

As they strolled through the empty cubicles, Sir Oblivious observed, "I don't understand why they leave. Don't they realize they have to return tomorrow?"

Mr Spread-Shit nodded solemnly, his eyes fixed on an Excel sheet.

"Indeed, my lord. It seems they lack the foresight to grasp the profound logic of staying eternally at work."

Meanwhile, the employees, blissfully unaware of the boss's confusion, enjoyed their evening freedom. They relished meals with loved ones, caught up on hobbies, watched NetClicks, and recharged their exhausted, ignorant, stupid minds for the challenges that awaited them the next day.

Sir Oblivious and Mr Spread-Shit huddled in the office's candle-lit conference room, surrounded by pie charts and bar graphs. The boss scratched his hairless head again, muttering, "Perhaps we should implement a '24/7 Workday' policy to ensure optimal productivity."

Mr Spread-Shit, a diligent servant, began drafting a memo proposing the absurd innovative policy. However, the kingdom's HR wizards, in charge of all the sanity, stepped in before the madness could extend.

Hearing of the proposed policy, the employees exploded in laughter, creating a cacophony that echoed through the hallowed halls of Corp-land.

The commotion reached Sir Oblivious, who, instead of understanding the joke, wondered at the puzzling joy reflecting from the realms of the non-working.

And so, the legend of Sir Oblivious and his quest to fathom the necessity of going home became a cherished tale among Corp-land employees.

In the empire of cubicles, where reason often took a backseat to stupidity, they revelled in the delightful mockery of a boss who couldn't fathom the need for an evening salvation.