Saving Shadow.

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon when my husband, Gary and I got a phone call that would change both of our lives forever. A long-time friend in the animal welfare community, and one who had adopted a border collie mix we had rescued many years ago, was calling.

She had a “dog issue.”  I knew that was not good. She recently had adopted a female border collie from our local animal control shelter.  You see, Mary was an avid runner and border collies had been her breed of choice for as long as I can remember. She and her new four-legged friend were settling in together nicely until the “dog issue” arose.

It seemed one of Mary’s neighbors had died a few months earlier and she had not seen his border collie since he passed away.  Mary used to walk Shadow periodically through the neighborhood.  Shadow lived in a pen in the back end of the neighbor’s property.  Since she hadn’t seen the dog for a while now, she decided to pay the home a visit. To her horror, she discovered the wife of the deceased had put Shadow in a crate with a cat litter box, in her dark garage.  He had been living in there since her husband died.

“There he is, you see him?  the wife asked.

“I’d like to take him home with me,” responded Mary.

“Don’t bring him back.  I don’t want to see him again,” the wife added.

Mary took Shadow out of the crate he had called home for months and took him home.  Mary’s female addition was not keen on sharing her home with Shadow.  She bullied him.  After two weeks, Mary decided the living arrangement was not going to work and she called me.

“How hard can this be?” I asked.  “It’s a border collie.  These are fabulous dogs.  I will sign the dog in to Shamrock Foundation, a local animal welfare organization that has no shelter, but adoptable pets stay in private homes.”

“Gary and I will foster him,” I added. “We will take Shadow to a few adoption days, post flyers in running stores and gyms and such, and I would guess, in about two weeks, Shadow will be on his way to a new home.”

Shadow was a large border collie and he was stunning.  He was already neutered and the original owner had had him debarked – twice.  I could not imagine any veterinarian debarking a dog, and I was imagining which one of our area vets did this to him.  But Shadow was about nine years old now, and we were dealing with what we were dealing with, right?

When we brought him home, Shadow was elated with his new foster situation, but our pets – not so much.  My 10-pound pommie, who is king of his castle and pack leader, was quite afraid of Shadow.  He was not himself around Shadow, and watched this new interloper’s every move.

My 20-pound sheltie was a senior citizen and moved slowly.  She was very aware of this big, new arrival and she wanted nothing to do with him.  Our two cats were terrified, as well they should be.  Shadow had never been around cats and he would attack them and chase them, showing no mercy. He chased Belle and Orange Juice all over our house.  They clung to the walls and hid under beds, hoping he could not get his big snout far enough under the bed to take a piece of them.

Shadow was obsessed with the television.  Watching Wimbledon took on new meaning.  He watched the ball from start of competition to end – snapping, jumping and running at the screen.  The other animals hid in fear of this beautiful border collie who literally, did not know how to function inside a home, much less, with other animals.

I was so afraid he would knock the TV on himself and us!  Watching tennis on TV became a thing of the past, and fetch with the ball in the backyard for long periods of time, along with long, daily walks, became our existence.  

The longer he stayed with us, the more emboldened he became, challenging and attacking our smaller animals.  In no time, our home was turned upside down.  Every day, our dogs and cats were in hiding and living in fear.  Keep in mind, Gary and I are experienced pet owners.  We have had multiple pets all our lives.  We’ve been volunteers, fosters, animal welfare board members, and even spear-headed huge rescue missions – gathering dogs from ditches, chained in mud, chained to just about anything you can think of – and yet, we were unsure of what to do with this dog.

To make matters worse, some of the local canine agility people (zealots might be a better term), who, interestingly, had known Shadow’s original owner, found out we had him at our home.  Even the out-of-town breeder who sold Shadow to his owner tracked us down.  Our home phone started to ring off the hook, day and night, from these people. “We want him, you don’t know what you’re doing with him, we want him and if we can’t have him, give him back to the breeder,” they would say, shout, scream at me – along with a few choice words.

The breeder also called to get the dog back.  You see, she had a contract with the deceased owner that Shadow would be returned if he no longer wanted him.  “Get your ass in the car and drive him up here,” she demanded.  She followed up several lovely phone conversations with legal papers, demanding Shadow’s return or she would sue us.

My husband and I had fallen in love with Shadow, despite his shortcomings.  However, our deep concerns for his well being, as well as the well being of our own furry family, were growing.  What had happened to Shadow that made him act this way?  What do we not know about Shadow?  What are we missing?  Something dark and sinister has happened to this dog, time and again, in addition to the things we did know about the dog.  

Gary decided, “I will not return him to this breeder, nor will I give him to anyone who wants him for agility.  He is retired.  And I will put him down first before we put him in the hands of another abuser.”

With that, we took Shadow to the very next dog adoption day at a giant pet supply store in our hometown.  He was immediately adopted by a family with three teens.  They were all at the adoption event, fell in love with Shadow, and wanted to take him home.  One big concern I had was this family did not have a fenced yard, but they all seemed very kind, so we decided to give it a try.  This was our first adoption attempt.

Two weeks later, Shadow was back home with us.  One of the things we learned from this experience was he would not tolerate the crate and in fact, would go ballistic.  And once again, as much we loved him, Shadow was the disrupter to the rest of our pack.

As time went by, we realized having Shadow with us was an experience akin to “peeling back an onion.”  Little by little, as I would check in with my friend, Mary, 

I learned some unspeakable things about Shadow’s life before he came to live with us – things I wished every day thereafter, I had known in the first place.

It seems Shadow was an elite agility competitor – I imagined him to be like a thoroughbred horse who ran the Kentucky Derby.  He was revved up, jazzed up, wild-eyed, and on guard for who knows what might come next.  He was taken out of his kennel, day after day, year after year for two things:  training or competition. According to neighbors, when Shadow did not jump “high enough,” he was beaten in the face with a large, leather glove, over and over again.  He sustained daily beatings.

One of the neighbors told Mary “animal control knows how to get here. They don’t need directions.  We have been calling them just about every day, for years.”  Yet, at the end of the day, nothing was done for Shadow.  His owner was a big-shot agility guy, and beating his dog in the face every day was a fact that was ultimately ignored.  

We also learned Shadow was actually debarked twice, to reduce neighbors’ complaints about his incessant barking.  Locked in a pen, far at the end of the property, I believe he was trying to tell them he just wanted to be part of the family. 

We tried the adoption option again.  This time out, we felt like we knew more about the kind of home we were looking for. We worked hard placing flyers in running stores and fitness facilities in hopes of finding an active runner or walking buddy who might want Shadow as a companion.  A fenced yard and a kind owner who would toss a ball for Shadow a lot, were also requirements.  Shadow loved to play fetch more than any dog I ever knew.  It brought him so much joy, I could see him smiling as he played ball.

Again, Shadow quickly had multiple adoption applications.  One was from his former groomer.  She knew Shadow and he knew her.  She did have a small child, but Shadow knew the child, too.  She had a small, fenced yard and she sincerely wanted to give him a loving home.  We approved her adoption application.  Two days later, she returned Shadow to us saying she was too busy for him.  She also told us he snapped at her, and bit her on the leg.  Adoption two was a bust.  My heart sank for this dog.  I loved him.  I still love him.  I’ll always love him.

I was obsessed with helping Shadow, and yet, we also had to consider our own pets. With the help of a local animal organization, we decided to board Shadow for a while and give everyone a break.  We found a fabulous facility with a pool and paid for daily swimming for him.  Gary or I took him for long walks every day.  In fact, Gary lost 25 pounds walking Shadow.  But, we knew in our hearts this was not a long-term solution.

In the meantime, the local animal group graciously offered to help us with some basic veterinary care in addition to boarding help.  We found a wonderful veterinarian who examined Shadow and put him on medication for anxiety.  This is something Shadow must live on, she explained to us.  It will enhance his quality of life.  Shadow responded well to the medication.  It took the edge off – and gave us all a chance to regroup. 

We soon received another adoption application we felt was very strong.  A couple that had a huge fenced yard and had had border collies before, applied.  The wife worked part time and there were no children, so we felt this could be a good fit for him.  We met them on neutral turf and suggested they walk Shadow.  

We talked to them at great length, telling them all we knew about Shadow.  We told them about his abusive past, that his owner had recently died, and that he was living on Prozac to reduce anxiety.  They still wanted Shadow and off they went.  

Sadly, this adoption did not go well, either.  This couple took him off his medication!  He continued to obsess over their television and was not getting the exercise he so desperately needed. One night, the owner leaned over and got in Shadow’s face and he knocked her down! And she broke her wrist.  Two weeks later, Shadow was back with us, and the third adoption attempt was history.  

The day Shadow was returned to us, he jumped for joy!  You could see the smile on his face.  He loved us!  If we had not had any other pets, we would have kept Shadow forever.  My favorite memory of Shadow is – and always will be – when Gary brought Shadow over to the park.  I was already there.  When he saw me, his face lit up with joy, and he came running.  

Our hearts, on the other hand, were breaking for this dog.  It appeared the abuse was so great, so deep and so permanent, -- and through it all, he still grieved for his original owner.  No matter how poorly he was treated, and with all the failed adoption attempts going on, he was also grieving this man’s death.

Gary and I decided we were not going to give up on Shadow.  Everyone else had given up on him.  We decided to try a pet psychic.  She told us Shadow loved his deceased owner, even though he had beaten him.  Shadow felt his owner was making him more competitive, and that he knew the beatings made him more competitive.  My heart sank, thinking of what Shadow has lived through.

She told us Shadow loved Gary and me, and he knew Gary had a kind heart.  He was aware of the little, white, bossy dog at our house and that he has to be top dog.  She said Shadow would allow him top dog status.  But, at the end of the session, the psychic also said Shadow felt there was another home for him.  And if we cannot find that home, he would go to the other side.

She concluded by saying Shadow suffers from PTSD from abuse and he does not like to be hugged and smothered.  He wants to come to you.  He is a good dog.

I was in tears from all of it!  What are we going to do?  We were heart broken, wiped out and at our wit’s end.

Gary had an idea.  He had worked with a man in a previous position who was a big westie lover.  Gary consulted him for advice.  As it turned out, Gary’s contact had a list of animal-loving contacts and rescues all over the United States.  With that, we were able to put out Shadow’s story online.

We got one response.

A lady in Tennessee responded she would take Shadow and give him a forever home.  She was a border collie lover, had several of her own border collies, fostered border collies, and owned a doggie day care.  She also had lots of fenced property.  In addition, she had been a trainer at a local PetSmart and had years of experience with the breed, including dealing with abused border collies.  

This all sounded too good to be true.  

Gary talked with her and I called her references.  We looked at her facility and property online.  We decided Shadow would go to live with Sonia.  Shadow would live with other border collies.  He would have his own fenced yard at first, but he would have friends, real border collie friends.  He would not be crated.  

He would never again have to use a cat litter box.  He would not be boarded.  He would not be left in a pen, far from the main house.  He would not have to do agility.  He would certainly not be beaten.

He would remain retired.  He could play ball and run free in a safe environment.  He would be loved for who he is.  He would be safe and loved.  He could be a dog.  This is what we wanted most for him.

In the first three weeks, after Shadow arrived, Sonia too, was hounded by the breeder.  She brushed them off and remained true to her word of giving Shadow a forever home.  It was determined Shadow was truly unadoptable.  And for Sonia, that was okay.  Sonia renamed him Ryker.  He became a permanent part of her wonderful family.  We knew Ryker was safe and finally, at home.

Gary and I talked with Sonia weekly and she told us he was, indeed, her best friend.  Ryker lived with Sonia nearly six years.  To this day, we cherish every photo Sonia shared with us as well as her friendship and kind heart.  She truly was his angel. Ryker had found a home with her and her family.  I believe, in his heart, Ryker knew he was home.

Addendum:

Gary had the opportunity to visit Ryker in his senior years, and Ryker knew him, even though far too much time had passed since either of us had seen him.  I’m so glad Gary had that time with Ryker and I hope Ryker knew how much he loved him – we loved him.  

On August 28, 2019, Ryker passed peacefully in the arms of the woman who loved him and who gave him his one, true home.  Ryker and Sonia will forever be in our hearts.