Say Good-Bye to Hoodies, Start-Up Founders Wear Mom Jeans

I just celebrated my 43rd birthday with six of my best girlfriends over dinner. We were admittedly a little loud. The twenty-something bartender wished me a happy birthday and declared “I hope I have this much fun when I’m your age.” And with that, like in a movie, I saw middle-aged women through the lens of the world. A class of people past their prime. Past the peak of beauty, lagging behind men in careers, and definitely not hip enough to break into the competitive high tech start-up world. I get that perspective, I used to think it myself when I still looked good in a swimsuit. But now, I can tell you without hesitation that women in their 40s could be disrupting and improving the business world – we just need you to stop seeing our motherhood, age and Spanx as negatives. No special treatment needed, we just want you to take a closer look at our experience when hiring, to review your policies to make sure they don’t exclude us inadvertently, and give us some well-earned respect.

Not only do I believe that companies are better when partially gray-haired women are put in management positions, research proves it. Company profits and share performance can be 50% higher when we are calling the shots. Companies with women executives were more likely to outperform companies that did not invest in women who spent the late 80s inhaling Aqua Net.

Women have been taught to dread 40. Stella needed a man to get her groove back, Sally needed Harry to stop crying, and Samantha needed lot and lots of men. Well, what most of us need is not a new man (I’m happily married), but we do need your respect and more opportunities. Yes, we may wear mom jeans and drive minivans, but Brenda in the carpool had been the top sales person at her company before taking a few years off, Jane prosecuted the mob before having her 4th kid, and Debbie was writing speeches for the President before running the PTO. 

Women in their 40s are in their business prime and even better than their 30-year-old selves for several reasons. First, we have more time and energy. Our kids are old enough to sleep through the night, they are in school fulltime (I am purposefully ignoring the Covid homeschooling year that I am still trying to forget), and our little people are much more independent. Second, our business experience did not melt away because we took a break or went part-time. How is a woman with 15 years’ work experience and a half-decade hiatus less qualified than a man with 10 consecutive years under his belt? If anything, while raising kids, these ladies gained strength, patience, and the ability to multi-task. Third, we have had decades to expand and cultivate our networks. One of the best generators of business and contacts is through our kids’ friends and family. Finally, and most importantly, we have a reason to be passionate. Our children and their needs call us to make the world a better place. We are in the trenches. We know the problems plaguing our kids’ generation, and we are in the best position to solve those problems. 

As a lawyer, I spent my 20s working 70-hour weeks. I stepped away from a big law to spend more time with my two young children and to have another baby. Luckily, I hit the jack pot and spent my 30s as the general counsel to several companies. Imagine finding a group of men who allowed me to prioritize my family, work on a reduced and flexible schedule, and still have an exciting and challenging job. I wish employers like these were the rule and not the exception. Thank you, Bert and Jason. 

Now in my 40s, I am tackling the start-up world with another woman who is also over 40. We realized that our children were financially illiterate, and not finding an age-appropriate solution, we set out to make one. Like all start-ups, we have had ups and downs and we have also hit some barriers. We have 7 kids between us, we had successful prior careers, we are hard-working, and passionate. But try to apply for an incubator or social impact fund when the applications specifically note a preference for applicants under 40 or require a six week in-person commitment in a city where you don’t live. “Frumpy moms need not apply,” would be more direct. Actually, some are more direct. A cofounder of one of the most powerful incubators once said that “the cutoff in investors’ heads is 32… After 32, they start to be a little skeptical.” I’m frowning in response; you just can’t tell because of my Botox.

Again, when we strip away sexist and ageist notions, the numbers tell a different story. The average founder’s age is now 42 and the 0.1 percent of the fastest-growing firms had founders over 45. Rise up middle-agers (just not too quick, you don’t want to throw out your back). According to the Small Business Trends survey results, 31% of small businesses are women owned, and the vast majority of those women business owners are over 40.

We are getting stronger and more engaged in our careers, especially in post-hiatus careers that allow us to pursue a passion. There are many of us working hard to prove that the 40-year-old woman is in her business prime. So don’t summarily dismiss the “mommy track” applicant, or assume the best tech ideas will come from someone born after 2000. Raising kids was an arduous intermission that only made us richer in experience, patience, and network. “I am woman hear me roar,” and now I roar louder to drown out the sound of my kids bickering.

Nicolle Hood is a 40-something year old mom, attorney, and business woman.