Say It Loud, Say It Proud
Jared Yellin
Visionary Dadpreneur Catalyzing the Next ERA of Venture Capital + Sustainable Philanthropy | Driving Tech Innovation 🇮🇱
“If your story remains a secret, your mission becomes a mystery.” - Jared Yellin
There are such ridiculous rules we are exposed to as children by ridiculous adults who followed the ridiculous rules from their childhood only to fall short of every hope, dream, and desire – but at least they are following the rules. 🤦
I am sure someone has told you…
“Don’t talk about yourself, you will appear egotistical and arrogant.”
Before reading on, just picture this person for a moment and dissect their life…
Do they have the relationship you desire?
Do they have the bank account you desire?
Do they have the career you desire?
Do they have the adventure you desire?
Do they have the family unit you desire?
Do they have the freedom you desire?
I can almost guarantee the answer to each of these questions is a big fat NO!!!
AND the only reason they feel obliged to share this absurd statement (aka BRULE = Bull$hi* Rule) with you is that someone shared it with them, and they listened.
Not only should you do the exact opposite (aka TALK ABOUT YOURSELF), but you should do this even if the other person does not ask. There is a good chance that the other person is going to adopt this belief system UNLESS they are exposed to someone sharing their story.
I also would have to imagine that someone has told you…
“You really need to suppress your accomplishments and your ambitions because it makes people feel funny.”
Just to drive this point home, in case you don’t believe me yet, please perform this exercise once again for the absurd statement above…
Picture this person for a moment and dissect their life…
Do they have the relationship you desire?
Do they have the bank account you desire?
Do they have the career you desire?
Do they have the adventure you desire?
Do they have the family unit you desire?
Do they have the freedom you desire?
Once again, I guarantee the person who shared this BRULE with you (B = Bull$h* Rule) has a life that is FARRRRR less than you desire, so why even entertain their absurdity?
Every person on the planet has had their own unique journey to get to where they are today and will have their own unique journey to where they eventually go.
AND…
Almost NO ONE will share this journey, although it’s filled with lessons, wins, growth, relatable experiences, hardship, uncertainty, polarity, pain, success, etc.
AND the reason why almost NO ONE will share is because they listened to those BRULEs from the absurd people who don’t have what they want anyway.
Here’s the key…
Don’t be part of the ALMOST NO ONE and instead become part of the ELITE few who use their story as THE mechanism to become unforgettable.
5 Ways To Share Your Story + 1 Reason Why You Must
Before I dig into the ways and the why you MUST realize something…
You must go out of your way to begin sharing your story.
THIS MEANS….
Don’t wait for the perfect time OR perfect conversation OR perfect setup.
YOU must go OUT OF YOUR WAY to share it, and here are the 5 ways to begin sharing + the 1 reason you MUST…
Way #1: Schedule it.
What does not get scheduled DOES NOT get done…
This holds true for workouts, date nights, reading, Yes Days with your kids, etc.
AND it most certainly holds true for SHARING YOUR STORY!
So…
Schedule in time to write, record, and go live where you are committing at least 15 minutes each day to share + document your story.
No days off...because 100% is always easier than 90%.
Try this schedule for now…
Day
Form of content
Prompt
Monday
Writing
How did you turn a failure into a lesson and then into a win?
Tuesday
Video
What was the hardest experience in your life, and how did you overcome it?
Wednesday
Go Live
Who are the three most important people in your life?
Thursday
Get Interview
Follow the WAG Format Where you WHERE
Where you ARE
Where you are GOING
Friday
Writing
What has been your most significant win, and what would you have done differently?
Saturday
Video
Who hurt you the most (no names), and how did you turn this pain into triumph?
Sunday
Go Live
What is the most important focus in your life right now?
I guarantee that if you begin to schedule in your story seven days a week, that after one week, you will never stop again because the outcomes you will experience will blow your mind, from relationships emerging out of nowhere to opportunities landing in your lap to media appearances that at one point seemed out of reach.
JUST commit - and schedule - and then execute.
Way #2: Stop striving for perfection.
I want to nip this in the bud right now…
Your story will NEVER be perfect…PERIOD and FULL STOP!
It will be perfectly imperfect, and the more reps you put in, the more distinctions you will realize.
Each time I share my story—which is at least 10 times each day at this point—I find ways to make it even more “perfect.”
Pauses…
Deep breaths…
Focus points…
Tonality…
Different experiences…
Recommended by LinkedIn
Better questions…
Enhanced eye contact…
BUT here’s the key!
You can’t practice in a mirror.
You can’t rehearse with a sheet of paper.
You can’t hire a coach to help you fine-tune it.
You just need to do it.
You just need to write, get on video, go live, integrate into your sales presentations, and accept interviews.
The ONLY practice (when it comes to your story) is just DOING IT, putting in the REPS, and REFINING as you go.
Way #3: Everyone is hearing it for the first time.
Even if you think someone already knows your story and they know your pauses, and they know the experiences you are sharing, and they have heard it previously…
ACT like they are hearing it for the first time….because they ARE!
Each person—when hearing your story—is a different person the second and third time based on their own life experiences, which means there will be different parts of the story that stand out and resonate SOOOO…
Don’t contort your story because you think someone has already heard it – just SHARE IT!
There are many times I am on a second or third or fourth call with someone who continues to invite new people on each call, which means I am going to share my story 2, 3, 4x with the one consistent person and one time with the newcomer.
I start by calling this out…”Bob, I know you have heard my story now a few times but listen to it as if you are hearing it for the first time because I know there will be different elements that stand out based on who you are today versus who you were when you heard it previously.”
Then…
SHARE YOUR STORY!
I don’t want you overthinking this—most people forget 99% of what you say—so act like they know nothing (because most likely they don’t) and give them the experience of a lifetime as you walk them through where you were, where you are, and where you are going!
Way #4: Speak into the listening of someone by integrating your story.
The single greatest way to ensure your story REALLY lands is to collect data from the receiver whenever possible…
What are you most proud of?
What are you most excited about?
What is your vision for the future?
Once you have this information (past, present and future) from the receiver, then tell your story (the same way you always do) but this time…speak into their listening.
If you know that their vision for the future is to help increase literacy in Africa, and part of the impact you are having today is increasing literacy in Urban America, then double and triple click on this point because they will HEAR and REMEMBER this part of your story because it speaks to their listening.
OR
If you discover that they are most excited about their children and part of your story is becoming a mother or father, then really hit on this common interest because it will speed up RAPPORT, which will, in turn, SPEED up the impact.
Remember…
SPEAK INTO THEIR LISTENING because you collected DATA and integrate YOUR STORY into what you learned.
Way #5: Never suppress a detail.
There will be times when you speak with someone who seems not interested in your story, and everything inside tells you to cut it short, suppress a detail, and just get to the end fast. And here’s what you need to know…
NEVER let the “interest” of someone dictate YOUR story.
Instead, use their name often when you are speaking.
“Bob, and then this happened.”
“Bob, I thought one thing but then learned this.”
“Bob, people thought I was crazy or onto something.”
“Bob, I conducted a life audit.”
When you use their name in your story, it will trigger their attention. Once you catch their attention, make it a game—KEEP IT, CONTROL IT, and GUIDE IT to the destination you desire because here’s what I know to be true…
NO ONE is listening to your story for YOU, but they are listening to your story for themselves, and if you believe they are better off with you than without you, then it’s your moral responsibility to ensure you guide them to the WIN-WIN outcome.
1 Reason Why You Must
Your story is not for you but rather for them.
There are times when I am just not in the mood.
There are times when I feel foggy or lost.
There are times when my energy is just lagging.
And guess what…
My story is not for me – it’s for THEM!
Many years ago, I was on the Chiropractic speaking circuit and I used to tell chiropractors that EVERY adjustment COUNTS.
Because for the Chiropractor himself/herself, one adjustment is just one of many whereas for the patient, it’s their one of one. If their one of one is suboptimal, there is a good chance that will be the only adjustment of their life, which is why EVERY adjustment counts.
And the same holds true for YOUR STORY!
If you botch one opportunity to share your story – it’s just one opportunity because you will have plenty of others, BUT WHAT IF the receiver needed your story?
They NEEDED it for hope.
They NEEDED it for direction.
They NEEDED it for an example of what’s possible.
But since you decided NOT to show up – they did not get what they needed, and their life was altered forever.
THIS is why you MUST share your story…
Because – Your story is not for you but rather for them.
Now What?
I have anywhere from 20-80 new calls each week, which means a first call with someone, and I start every call the same way…
What are you most proud of?
What are you most excited about?
What is your vision for the future?
What these three questions do is help someone share their story because it gives them a framework to follow which often leads to them dropping their guard and opening up in a way that they have never done before on a first call.
But what is also blatantly obvious to me is that the vast majority of people have not put in enough reps telling their story, so it’s less impactful than it should be. It’s almost like my questions were the first time they allowed themselves to open up, and although they feel safe with me (which they should), it’s like a giraffe taking its first steps…
Wobbly…
Awkward…
Uncertain…
Etc.
But what surprises me even more is that most people have done something meaningful and are focused on something interesting - yet - it’s almost always a secret.
And I can’t express how vitally important it is for you to get out of your own way, get out of your head, change the rules that have been ingrained in your mind, and start sharing your story. Because for me, sharing my story (with every person I meet) has been the single greatest strategy and tool to my success…
And the reason each of these people wants to support, get involved, and win together is because my story is not a secret, which means my mission is abundantly obvious.
If you decide to hold back, getting help is more difficult and maybe even impossible.
I don’t care how extraordinary your product or service is—it pales in comparison to the power of your story and the way these words will stick with the receiver more than anything else.
So…
Whether you are raising money, trying to sell a product, looking to form a joint venture or fall in love…your story is THE reason you will succeed, and the LACK of your story is THE reason you will fall short.
The choice is yours…
But I hope—for your sake and the sake of the receiver—that your story does not remain a secret OR that your mission will remain a mystery.
I am here for you always – we got this…
TOGETHER!
Live with Intention,
JY