Say YES to a great vacation!

As we were starting a family vacation some years ago, my wife asked, “Am I only going to see the top of your head the entire trip?” She asked the question as I was furiously typing away on my BlackBerry.  It was a much-needed wake-up call.  I was on the path to burning out.  I’d leave my house at 6 am, get back home around 6:30 or 7 pm, kiss my son good night, and then work emails for another two hours before going to bed.  I was home, but never saw my family.  And even on the much-anticipated vacation, was I planning to present with my family?  Nope.  I was planning how to continue to work on my BlackBerry to respond to emails, and dial into that “super important” phone call, or more accurately calls, because I was indispensable…. Right?

Then, six years ago, I took TWO WHOLE WEEKS off for the first in my career. I promised my wife I wasn’t going to work, and I meant it. I told my team that I wouldn’t be online at all, so if there was an emergency they would need to text me.  And I fully committed to the plan.  While I did get one text message, it was only to let me know the flight test we had been planning was successful. I knew it would be…. I had a great team, and they were well prepared.  When I got the text message declaring success, I snapped a picture of myself toasting the team, and said “see you in two weeks!”

That vacation was the first time I truly had decompressed in decades. It wasn’t easy. I spent most of first week getting over the anxiety of not looking at email. But the second week… It was GLORIOUS!  I returned to work refreshed and ready to roll.  It was by far the best decision I ever made (aside from marrying my wife of course 😉).

I’m reminded of my first job where we had a Q&A with the VP of Engineering, who was asked about his philosophy of work-life balance. His response was “I’ve always used all of my vacation, and I’ve never lost any vacation under the use it or lose it rules. And I encourage you to do the same”. Wise advice, and I’ve never forgotten it.

Throughout my years as a leader, I've never turned down a vacation request from someone on my team courtesy of those words of wisdom from that VP at my first job, but I realized that was not enough. To create a team culture that holds time off as sacred, I needed to lead by example.

Now, I encourage my team to log off completely when they go on vacation, and the rest of the team is asked to refrain from sending email requests or meeting invites to vacationing colleagues. In fact, I once went to rather extreme measures to reinforce this message. A valued member of my team was on a well-earned vacation, but was struggling to disconnect. He was still responding to emails and jumping on calls, so I recruited the rest of my team to help. They all took up the torch, ignoring his emails, removing him from email chains, and promising to record the call before asking him to hang up.  After a few days, he was forced to log off, and he ended up thanking me for it. 

So, to my fellow leaders, when your team requests time off, let them take it.  Don’t set conditions. Don’t expect them to respond to emails or participate in conference calls and encourage the rest of the team to do the same. And this isn’t the only way to lead by example.

And as the end of summer rapidly approaches I encourage everyone going on vacation to take the opportunity to completely log off. Focus on family, friends, and yourself.  Put the phone down and engage with the world.  I guarantee when you return to work it will still all be there.  And if you don’t believe me, the 1000 emails you have will remind you. But at least you will be refreshed and ready to tackle them. 

Do I always follow my advice for getting away?  Nope, as many of my colleagues will point out; however, when we go on vacation these days, my wife and son don’t need a picture to remember what my face looks like 😊. On my recent vacation, I spent about 10-15 minutes a day checking emails, but then I put the phone down for the day and enjoyed time with my family.  One of those days we hiked down to a waterfall, and then spent the next two hours swimming, climbing up the cliff face and jumping in, and having a picnic. A day I won't soon forget!