Second Innings

My bundle of joy arrived as planned. No, it was not unexpected or unplanned. I had all arrangements made to get back to work after my maternity leave. Everything was in order – a great manager who supported my comeback, an organization that accommodated my wish list, a fantastic partner who supported me in all my decisions, a safe & reliable daycare and a wonderful support system of friends & family who would chip in anytime I wanted. Yet the feeling of holding your child first time to your heart is unplanned and unexpected. The emotions that come with is like nothing you have experienced before. All my rational decisions were out of the door the second I held my child, close to my heart, warmly in my hands. I had transitioned to a mom, above all other roles.

After several months of conversations with my employer, I decided to not get back to my lucrative job and a promising career. I made the not-so-difficult decision to stay with my child, I decided to don the role of a stay-at-home mom. Again, I knew the price I was paying on the professional front. Yet I knew, having a child and raising one was my choice and I wanted to do it my way.

Fast forward three years and I have a very independent young man in the making, who not only has a mind of his own but also needs his possibly over protective mom to let go. It came to me as no surprise and I was in the planning stage to get back to a full-time job and pick my dreams of a career from where I had left it.

By then we had moved continents and getting back was more difficult than I had imagined. Looking back, I cannot say I had a full-fledged strategy that helped me to get back, but here’s how it went:

1. Promising yourself you will contribute to the professional workforce – I don’t think there is a right or wrong here. If being a mom is what you enjoy the most and want to do that full time, go for it. I personally believe that everyone should contribute to the betterment of the world in whatever way possible plus not put the breadwinning burden on only one partner. When I decided to stay back with my little one, I knew at some point in time, I’d be ready to get back in. This persuaded me to hone my skills. I started off “selling” my existing skills in consulting with SMEs and slowly I added to my skills – Supply chain, strategy consulting, marketing. My one-woman practice also grew, and more new moms joined me along the way, which meant without even realizing I added entrepreneurial skills as well.
2.  Know the right time – What works for me may not work for others. You are the best judge. Have a timeline, even if it is just a tentative one. Work along that timeline as to when you are going to take the plunge. That helps everyone around you as well to be prepared. You can plan things around you better – school, daycare, daily routines and everything else that comes with parenting.
3. Keep your network, grow your network – One of the biggest hurdles I faced was to find people who believed in me. With a break on your CV, there are two things that happen. One, people are not sure how serious you are about the job/profession because you left it in the first place. Second, they have no idea what your skills are or rather how much of skills have eroded in the break. Your network is full of people who know you, who believe you. Reach out to them and take their help. My getting back was through my network.
4. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to start at the bottom – I meet up several women who want to get back to work and share my story. Something that stands out in most of them is, they are unwilling to let go of the position or level they had when they left plus add the years of the break. They basically expect someone to hire them at a higher level than what they had left. This may work for some, but from experience, this rarely happens. Starting at the bottom has no shame if you believe you can circumvent that quickly. When I joined back, I took at least two levels down. My first day at work, I had to remind myself why I was doing it. After the first three months, I had got used to the much younger colleagues of mine and in fact realized how much I could learn from them.
5. Believe in yourself, make it work – I think the single most important factor is believing you can make it work. Making it work on both fronts – one in getting back, second in re-creating the balance you will lose when you get into a full-time job. 

I made it work for me and my family. It had an added complexity because we moved continents and countries as well in the process, which meant that I lost the support system I created. A decade later, most organizations are realizing the potential of enabling women get back to work and there are several second-innings programs as well in addition to the option of part-time work.

All the lovely & wonderful women out there, who wish to take a break, go for it however plan your comeback.

Would love to hear how others have made it work and why some of you are not able to make it work!