Seeing Through New Eyes
Dr. Kristen A Albert, Ed.D, NCC
Executive Leadership Coach | Keynote Speaker | Thought Leader | Podcast Host | Senior Leaders | Women's Leadership | DEI Champion | Certified Leadership Circle Practitioner | Facilitator |
I had a lovely conversation with a new friend today; she was considering going into coaching in the next phase of her career and she wanted to chat with me and ask me some questions. In the time that we spent together it dawned on me that our conversation was relevant to a concept we’ve been exploring in my Turning Points Leadership Community: the concept of “learning” vs. “knowing.”
I came to coaching from being coached. Back in 2011 I began working with Geoff Davis as my coach. It was the first time I had experienced coaching. I don’t believe I knew in the beginning of our coaching relationship what coaching really was. I understood it to be a helping profession, but I wasn’t really clear on what the art and practice of coaching was, and what was actually taking place in our sessions that was making a difference in how I saw, and thus acted, in my life and work. In fact, I didn’t really understand how the “magic” was happening, but what I knew for sure was that whatever “it” was that had been making a difference for me, I wanted my clients to experience what I was experiencing so they too could experience their own transformation.
Being coached was very different from other modalities I had experienced. It was not training, because there was no syllabus or set curriculum that the coach was following that was informing my new way of seeing. It was not consulting, because the coach was not listening to me and recommending a strategy, solution, or series of actions I was to take to solve the problem. It also was not therapy; although it was very therapeutic at times, we weren’t delving into my past experiences in order to become okay with where I was. And it wasn’t mentoring; my coach had not walked in my shoes and so was not stepping in as a trusted advisor.
Yet there was magic, and I was yet to understand what it was that my coaching was making space for that I had not experienced before. By taking part in a coaching training program I came to understand that the “magic” happened every time I was able to see a situation in new ways that I hadn’t seen before -- what many coaches refer to as “seeing through new eyes.”
As we’ve been exploring in these past weeks in my Turning Points Leadership Community, there is truth in the phrase “we don’t know what we don’t know.” And there is also truth in the fact that if we believe we know, that we miss out on the opportunity to discover what it is that we don’t know.
It’s also highly likely that when we feel “stuck,” it is because we are only seeing what you see, and are blind to what we aren't seeing. Of course! Makes sense, right?
And this is where the power of coaching comes in. This is where being coached becomes a gift and an opportunity.
Take this illustration for example.
You’ve likely seen this before, and if you have, you know that it contains an optical illusion. In other words, it looks like one thing, but it can also look like another. And if all you can see is the one thing (the goblet in the middle), you may need someone else to help you uncover what you don’t see (the two human profiles facing each other, with their lips poised to touch or to kiss.)
The coaching process is similar to this. You see something one way or another, and you might not see any other perspective unless someone says something like “what do you see when you focus your eyes on the black figures on either side?” And it’s at that point when you say -- oh! I see it now! I hadn’t seen it that way before!
In coaching, the coach listens deeply, paying attention to what you’re saying, how you’re describing it -- perhaps the story that underlies your way of seeing (it’s a goblet! See how it opens at the top and creates a vessel for the liquid?) -- and then asks a question: “Might there be another way you could look at it?”
Seems simple, doesn’t it?
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It's not as simple or obvious as we think it is. Why not? Because we see things through our own lens. Through our own stories. Through our own experiences. And when we do, we may actually not be able to “see the forest for the trees” as the saying goes, or even willing to admit there might be another way of seeing.
As Alfred Einstein was quoted to say, "we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." And yet, how often do we continue to work at something-- but we do not change our approach? We must be willing to admit there are other ways of seeing! We must be willing to see through new eyes!
This is the value that can be gained by engaging a trained coach. A coach who is a master at listening and forming questions that help you to see things differently, and to uncover ways of seeing that weren't available to you before that conversation -- simply because you needed to shift your point of view. And when it appears? Magic.
What are you working so hard on that it feels like it may never come to fruition?
What do you yearn to break free from?
What do you wish you could see that you've simply not been able to access by yourself?
Below are three different ways I can help you see things through new eyes, and gain new perspectives that will result in greater satisfaction in your work, your life, and your leadership.
It's time to discover new ways of seeing so that you can tap into some new possibilities and get the results you want most.
It's time to discover the magic of “seeing through new eyes.”
I look forward to welcoming you to a conversation.