Self-love: Supporting Physical, Psychological and Spiritual Development (Part 1)
Seetha Sagaran
![Seetha Sagaran]()
Seetha Sagaran
Personal Development Trainer, Motivational Keynote Speaker, Lifestyle Consultant, Author, Mentor, PhD Student
Only recently did the benevolent and powerful quote from Khalil Gibran strike me for its in-depth insight into the universality of one's impact on oneself.
His quote, "And God said, "Love Your Enemy," and I obeyed him and loved myself," is, according to my perception, profoundly relevant and identifiable worldwide. The quote represents the impact and the choice of response to a situation, a person or an experience. More critically, it communicates how one can play a crucial role in sabotaging one's life through a negative attitude towards life and opportunities. At the same time, one can derive strength from within to be one's vital support during sorrow, crisis or stress. More often than not, the subject of self-care is referred to whenever referring to mental health; the level of self-care arises from the extent to which one sincerely loves oneself.
The regard and respect an individual has for themselves is critical because it also impacts the healthy love an individual can have for other members of society. Self-love is a life-long relationship that can only be nurtured and maintained through the conscious awareness of its value and wisdom. Its contribution to self-improvement results from developing trust in one's potential and abilities. Furthermore, this trust promotes confidence in achieving one's purpose and goals while leading a mindful and fulfilling existence.
One of the first revelations arising from this discovery is that no one can truly hurt us without our permission to cause the trauma they inflict while hurting. We also need to recognise that every interaction we have with others and the world is understood and responded to differently by each person, based on individual differences and types of personality. Every response we make to a situation or in a relationship creates an outcome that is also varied. One of the first benefits of self-love is its contribution to maintaining a healthy and positive relationship with us.
Self-love also promotes a heightened consciousness of one's values, principles and integrity. It enables one to lead a life based on freedom from the desire to be a people pleaser or a perfectionist. It also allows one to cultivate an approach based on authenticity, respect and awareness of boundaries. Many of us mindlessly sacrifice our peace and tranquillity by compromising our identity to fit in or be considered a part of a group or community.
So, how does Self-love improve an overall healthy and positive life philosophy?
Its fundamental ability is to lower stress. When we are at peace and conscious of our imperfections, there is a far lesser desire to appear as perfect. It also consequently reduces the anxiety that arises out of stress. Many years ago, I used to know someone who was always conscious of who she met, what she did and how she appeared to the world. She used to enjoy jet-setting and thrived in the glittering socialite evenings she regularly hosted with her charismatic spouse at their beautiful, elegant home with exquisite paintings, rare antique carpets and crystal ware. Sadly, a few years later, her marriage fell apart, and although I came to know that she was keeping well and doing well, suddenly, she refused to answer calls from friends, family and even well-wishers or attend social events for some time.
Years later, I realised that her silence and her disappearance from social gatherings was not out of the stress of a broken marriage but from the societal impact she believed her divorce had on her image. According to her, her marriage also communicated to the world a level of personal success that she was proud of. And when it broke down, she found it next to impossible to face the people she used to meet since it recognised the imperfection in her seemingly perfect life. Despite several attempts I had made out of concern, I could not contact her for a few years. Her stress during those years must have been of a nature that would have been traumatic to an extent since, in all probability, she probably faced the crisis on her own. She would also have taken time to accept her reality as an unfortunate incident and not as a societal faux pas or failure from which she needed to hide herself from the world.
Self-love also creates the innate strength to face and overcome life challenges, including relationship issues. During my college years, there was a classmate of mine who was always in cheerful spirits, ready to laugh, joke and be an active and responsible student. I came to know years later that she was going through one of the lowest points of her life, in the form of economic hardships at home and conflict between her parents, yet she mentioned to me just how happy and loving a childhood she had. She used to say how she would tap into the beautiful childhood memories that would promote the strength and tenacity to face the hardships she faced in college.
Yet another colleague's situation was one of a devastating betrayal of a personal relationship (marital) in her life that had led to verbal and physical abuse. With her children and her undergoing trauma from the resulting crisis, she persevered with her personal and professional life with confidence and conviction. Sharing with me her trauma, she admitted that her values and the inherent love, self-esteem and regard for her well-being and that of her children helped her manage the crisis to the best of her ability. The resulting internal locus of control helped her experience the power and stability necessary to lead her life as effectively as possible. She was further able to recognise her errors of judgement in the failed relationship and learn from them. She, furthermore, determinedly strove to find practical solutions to lead her life, thanks to her growth mindset, her belief in her capabilities, and the lack of fear of making mistakes.
While discussing the concept of self-love, we must acknowledge the challenge of cultivating in adulthood and late adulthood due to the various fundamental needs it needs to fulfil during childhood. There is an enormously positive benefit gained through the wisdom and fulfilment gained through self–love. While it is not impossible to develop an understanding of self-love in later years, learning and inculcating this concept into our lives during childhood is undoubtedly easier. The four critical aspects of self-love (self-esteem, self-worth, self-awareness, and self-care) are ingrained more effectively through unconditional parental love, patient nurturing, and positive role modelling.
Founder | Astrologer | Wellness Advocate | Mind Aficionado | Content Creator | Silver Medalist
5moVery beautifully written and excellently illustrated, articulated with real-life instances: the everlasting & undeniable importance of SELF-CARE and SELF-LOVE 😊 A must read article for anyone who’s looking to understand how sustainable and independent “happiness” can be found. Totally recommended!
CEO| Founder at Global Youth Mental Health Awareness (GYMHA) Inc.| Certified Mental Health Practitioner| Award-winning Entrepreneur| Member at Royal Society of Victoria| Business Developer
5moThanks, Seetha Sagaran for sharing this. Self love is extremely important
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5moVery insightful
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5moSuperbly articulated about self-love! Seetha Sagaran Kudos to you 👏👏👏 We do notice that people show more empathy to others than to themselves! Self-care is the first care - I believe in the same.