THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE - WHY YOU MUST NOT ONLY READ THIS BOOK BUT LIVE THE HABITS....

We all want to succeed in our endeavours. Failure is discouraging and frustrating. Success is self re-enforcing and often self perpetuating. And one path to success is to become aware of the way we react to the world around us and how this affects our outcomes..The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey is one of the most influential self-improvement books. It is a very effective book because it challenges you to look into the mirror in order to understand how you react to events. It is based on Covey's belief that the way we see the world is entirely based on our own perceptions. Your perceptions determine the way we react to the world and the people around us and in the process influence or be influenced by the world or the people around us. Put differently, we are both observers and actors in our lives, and the way we judge ourselves is different from the way we judge other people. We are kinder towards ourselves than we are towards other people and this bias affects out outcomes. In other words, the tendency for us to judge ourselves based on out intentions and other people based on their results affects the way other people perceive us, and therefore our effectiveness in our own lives. In order to change a given situation, we must change ourselves, and in order to change ourselves, we must be able to change our perceptions and in order to change our perceptions we have to start seeing the world differently. It is much easier to change ourselves and the way we look at the world, than to change the world around us.

Habits 1, 2, and 3 are focused on personal self-mastery, moving from dependence to independence, taking control of our emotions, our thoughts and the stories that guide us in our lives. Habits 4, 5, and 6 are focused on developing teamwork, collaboration, and communication skills, and moving from independence to collaboration and interdependence. Habit 7 is focused on continuous growth and self improvement, and embodies all the other habits. The essence of the book is that it challenges you to take control of your own life and regulate the way in which you interact with others in order to improve your own effectiveness.

HABIT 1: Be Proactive

You’are in charge of your own life. You are both the director and the actor. You can choose the scripts by which to live your life and the way in which that script will be acted upon. Use this self-awareness to be proactive, initiate the actions that will guide your life, act on them and take responsibility for your choices and you life. What distinguishes us as humans from all other animals is our ability to re-examine our own character, to decide how to view ourselves and our situations,to choose what we want to get involved in and what we do not to be involved in and to control our own effectiveness - how well we want something done.In order to be effective, one must be proactive - meaning you need to be in control of your own life and you must initiate the events that determine your life outcomes. Reactive people take a passive stance -- they believe that things are being done to them, that they are powerless to influence things as they happen and that the world is happening to them. They say things like: "There's nothing I can do." and "That's just the way I am." They think the problem is "out there" and when they fail, they externalise blame - but that thought is the problem. Reactivity becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and reactive people feel increasingly victimised and out of control. Proactive people, however, recognise that they have responsibility -- or "response-ability," which Covey defines as the ability to choose how you will respond to a given stimulus or situation. In order to be proactive, we must focus on the things we can do something about. Reactive people, on the other hand, focus on things that they cannot do anything about which leads to blaming external factors, generating negative energy, and causing their their world to collapse around them.

Habit 2; Begin with the end in mind

Habit 2 suggests that, in everything we do, we should begin with the end in mind. Start with a clear destination. That way, we can make sure the steps we’re taking are in the right direction.Most of us find it rather easy to busy ourselves. If you have no goal in life, then any route will take you there. We work hard to achieve victories -- promotions, higher income, more recognition. But we don't often stop to evaluate the meaning behind this busyness, behind these victories -- we don't ask ourselves if these things that we focus on so intently are what really matter to us. Self-awareness empowers us to shape our own lives, instead of living our lives by default, or based on the standards or preferences of others. You have to learn to work harder on building yourself than even your job.and the ability to plan and execute is one of the most important in human existence. Beginning with the end in mind is also extremely important for businesses. Being a manager is about optimising for efficiency. But being a leader is about setting the right strategic vision for your organisation in the first place, and asking, "What are we trying to accomplish?". Before we as individuals or organisations can start setting and achieving goals, we must be able to identify our values. This process may involve some re scripting to be able to assert our own personal values. Re scripting, is recognising ineffective scripts that have been written for you, and changing those scripts by proactively writing new ones that are built of your own values.It is also important to identify our centre. Whatever is at the centre of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power. Our centres affect us fundamentally -- they determine our daily decisions, actions, and motivations, as well as our interpretation of events. We should identify the timeless, unchanging principles by which we must live our lives. This will give us the guidance that we need to align our behaviours with our beliefs and values.

HABIT 3: Put First Things First

In order to manage ourselves effectively, we must put first things first. We must have the discipline to prioritise our day-to-day actions based on what is most important, not what is most urgent. We must be able to judge the significance and impact of different outcomes and apply ourselves to things that have the greatest positive impact. In Habit 2, we discussed the importance of determining our values and understanding what it is we are setting out to achieve. Habit 3 is all about actually going after these goals, and executing on our priorities on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis.In order to maintain the discipline and the focus to stay on track toward our goals, we need to have the willpower to do something when we don’t want to do it. We need to act according to our values rather than our desires or impulses at any given moment.We need to be able to separate isolate our moods and emotions and their impact on how we react to situations. We also need to be able to deintidy the stories that drive our lives and react to things consciously, instead of living life on autopilot. All activities can be categorised based on two factors: Urgent and important. Take a look at this time management matrix: We also need to develop the ability to sum up situations and intervene correctly and effectively.

HABIT 4: Think Win-Win

In order to establish effective interdependent relationships, we must commit to creating Win-Win situations that are mutually beneficial and satisfying to each party. Very often we think only about ourselves ad fail to understand the other party's point of view. This habit teaches to first understand the bigger picture before inserting our own needs into the equation. Do not allow your instincts to dominate because they can lead you to a situation where you ignore the needs of others. It can be fatal. "To go for Win-Win, you not only have to be nice, you have to be courageous." says Covey.. Another important factor in solving for Win-Win situations is maintaining an Abundance Mentality, or the belief that there's plenty out there for everyone.Most people operate with the Scarcity Mentality -- meaning they act as though everything is zero-sum (in other words, if you get it, I don’t). People with the Scarcity Mentality have a very hard time sharing recognition or credit and find it difficult to be genuinely happy about other people’s successes.To achieve Win-Win, keep the focus on results, not methods; on problems, not people. Lastly, the spirit of Win-Win can’t survive in an environment of competition. As an organisation, we need to align our reward system with our goals and values and have the systems in place to support Win-Win.

HABIT 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Before we can offer advice, suggest solutions, or effectively interact with another person in any way, we must seek to deeply understand them and their perspective through empathetic listening. We prescribe a solution before we diagnose the problem. We don’t seek to deeply understand the problem first. Habit 5 says that we must seek first to understand, then to be understood. In order to seek to understand, we must learn to listen."You’ve spent years of your life learning how to read and write, years learning how to speak. But what about listening?" says Covey. We can’t simply use one technique to understand someone. In fact, if a person senses that we’re manipulating her, she will question our motives and will no longer feel safe opening up to us."You have to build the skills of empathic listening on a base of character that inspires openness and trust." -Stephen Covey. Most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. At any given moment, they’re either speaking or preparing to speak. After all, Covey points out, communication experts estimate that:

• 10% of our communication is represented by our words 
• 30% is represented by our sound
• 60% is represented by our body language

When we listen autobiographically -- in other words, with our own perspective as our frame of reference -- we tend to respond in one of four ways: But if we replace these types of response with empathic listening, we see dramatic results in improved communication. It takes time to make this shift, but it doesn’t take nearly as long to practice empathic listening as it does to back up and correct misunderstandings, or to live with unexpressed and unresolved problems only to have them surface later on.

HABIT 6: Synergize

By understanding and valuing the differences in another person’s perspective, we have the opportunity to create synergy, which allows us to uncover new possibilities through openness and creativity. The combination of all the other habits prepares us for Habit 6, which is the habit of synergy or "When one plus one equals three or more and the whole is great than the sum of its parts." Synergy allows us to create new alternatives and open new possibilities. It allows us as a group to collectively agree to ditch the old scripts and write new ones. "Without doubt, you have to leave thecomfort zone of base camp and confront an entirely new and unknown wilderness." -Stephen Covey. So how can we introduce synergy to a given situation or environment? Start with habits 4 and 5 -- you must think Win-Win and seek first to understand. Once you have these in mind, you can pool your desires with those of the other person or group. And then you’re not on opposite sides of the problem -- you’re together on one side, looking at the problem, understanding all the needs, and working to create a third alternative that will meet them. What we end up with is not a transaction, but a transformation. Both sides get what they want, and they build their relationship in the process. By putting forth a spirit of trust and safety, we will prompt others to become extremely open and feed on each other’s insights and ideas, creating synergy. The real essence of synergy is valuing the differences -- the mental, emotional, and psychological differences between people."The key to valuing differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are." -Stephen Covey. After all, if two people have the same opinion, one is unnecessary. When we become aware of someone’s different perspective, we can say, “Good! You see it differently! Help me see what you see.” We seek first to understand, and then we find strength and utility in those different perspectives in order to create new possibilities and Win-Win results.

HABIT 7: Sharpen the Saw

To be effective, we must devote some time to renewing ourselves physically, spiritually, mentally, and socially. Continuous renewal allows us to synergistic ally increase our ability to practice each habit. Habit 7 is focused around renewal, or taking time to “sharpen the saw.” It surrounds all of the other habits and makes each one possible by preserving and enhancing your greatest asset -- yourself.

Tapiwa Maswera uses the risk management control cycle and the actuarial control cycle to train Financial Leaders. He can be contacted on Tapiwa@acumenactuaries.com