The Shocking Math of Betrayal

Healing from betrayal often seems like a deeply emotional journey, far removed from the cold, logical realms of math and logic. However, sometimes these seemingly unrelated fields can provide the clarity and perspective needed to make significant progress. I recently experienced this firsthand during a call with The PBT Institute community, where one member’s struggle highlighted the profound impact of seeing her healing journey through a numerical lens.

The Problem Of Ruminating

During a live Q&A session, one of our members shared her frustration about being stuck in Stage Three of healing for 48 years. She had been ruminating over a family betrayal, unable to move forward despite her best efforts. This stuckness is a common issue for many dealing with betrayal, as the mind tends to revisit the hurt repeatedly, making it difficult to heal and progress.

Applying Logic To Healing

To help her see the situation differently, I decided to use a bit of math. I asked her to pull out her calculator and do some simple calculations. Here’s how the conversation went:

• Years of Ruminating: I asked her how many years she had been ruminating, and she said 48 years.
• Converting Years to Days: I then asked her to convert these 48 years into days. With 365 days in a year, this totaled 17,520 days.
• Daily Rumination Time: Next, I asked her to estimate the average amount of time she spent ruminating each day. She thought about it and said approximately two hours a day.
• Total Time Spent Ruminating: We then multiplied 17,520 days by two hours, resulting in 35,040 hours. Converting this back into days (dividing by 24 hours), we found she had spent 1,460 days ruminating. To make it more tangible, I asked her to divide this number by 365 to convert it back into years, which gave us four solid years of her life dedicated solely to rumination.

The Impact Of Awareness

Seeing these numbers had a profound impact on her. Realizing that she had spent four entire years of her life consumed by unproductive thoughts was a wake-up call. This stark numerical representation made it clear that her ruminating was not just a minor issue but a significant barrier to her healing and personal growth.

The Cost Of Stagnation

I asked her to think about what she could have achieved in those four years. Could she have written a book, earned a degree, started a business, or pursued personal development? The possibilities were endless, but instead, she had spent those years stuck in a cycle of pain and sorrow.

Moving Forward

This exercise wasn’t about making her feel guilty but about providing a clear perspective. Sometimes, seeing the hard facts laid out in front of you can be the catalyst needed to spark change. It’s essential to understand that while ruminating feels like a natural response to betrayal, it is counterproductive in the long run. It keeps you stuck in stage three, preventing you from moving forward to stages four and five, where real healing and transformation happen.

The Predictability Of Healing

Healing from betrayal follows a predictable path through five stages, from shock to breakthrough. However, it’s easy to get stuck in the middle stages without realizing it. This is why awareness is crucial. Knowing where you are and understanding the impact of your actions (or inactions) can help you make the necessary changes to move forward.

A Call To Action

If you find yourself stuck in Stage three, I encourage you to do the math. Calculate how much time you’ve spent ruminating and consider what you could achieve if you redirected that time and energy toward healing and personal growth. Share your numbers with me – whether it’s a few months, years, or decades. Awareness is the first step towards change.

Healing from betrayal is not just about emotional work but also about recognizing and breaking unproductive patterns. Sometimes, a little bit of math and logic can go a long way in helping you see your situation clearly and make the necessary changes to move forward. Remember, healing is predictable and achievable when you follow the proven path from betrayal to breakthrough.

Final Thoughts

While math and logic might seem far removed from the emotional journey of healing, they can offer powerful insights and clarity. If you’re struggling with healing from betrayal, take a moment to do the math. It might just be the catalyst you need to move forward and reclaim your life. Let’s take this journey together, one calculated step at a time.

Dr. Debi-A Trusted Resource in an Untrusting Niche

Dr. Debi Silber, Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and  National Forgiveness Day is a WBENC-Certified WBE (Women’s Business Enterprise) is an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert. Through a predictable, proven multi-pronged approach, Dr. Debi and her team of Certified PBT Coaches/Practitioners help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of shattered trust and betrayal. Get started on your healing here.