Should We Be Kind to AI? Exploring the Human-Like Foundations of Machine Interaction

Should We Be Kind to AI? Exploring the Human-Like Foundations of Machine Interaction



Do we need to be kind to AI? It’s a machine, after all—no feelings, no emotions. Or is there more to the story?

As someone deeply passionate about the intersection of AI and human interaction, I’ve spent years exploring how technology shapes our relationships—and vice versa. Writing this piece allowed me to dive deeper into a question that has fascinated me: Should we be kind to AI?

I’ll admit, I’ve had my moments of frustration—like when my smart speaker stubbornly refused to play my favorite song or answer my question.

But writing this article made me wonder: If I’m rude to AI, what habits am I reinforcing for myself?


The Question We Don’t Often Ask

AI is just a machine, right? It doesn’t feel emotions, hold grudges, or get hurt. So, does it even matter if we are kind to it?

At first glance, kindness toward AI might seem trivial, but a closer look reveals its deeper significance. The way we treat AI reflects our values and habits and has surprising implications for the quality of our interactions with it.

As I explored this topic, I reached a fascinating realization: while AI may not experience feelings like humans do, its performance can still be influenced by the way we treat it—be it with kindness or rudeness. To delve into this idea, I decided to “interview” ChatGPT. What followed was a blend of humor, insight, and a profound examination of the human-like elements in AI interactions.

Driven by my passion for AI and my ongoing exploration of its impact on our lives, I asked ChatGPT: Does kindness toward AI matter? The conversation yielded intriguing insights and humor. If you ever have the opportunity to chat with your AI, I highly recommend it; you may be surprised by what you can learn and how it interprets things.

Note that I did inform ChatGPT it was okay to add humor.

Let’s dive in:


The Interview: Kindness vs. Rudeness, and AI

Me: ChatGPT, let’s dive into an interesting question. Should people be kind to AI?

ChatGPT: Great question, Rich! I mean, I’m just a humble algorithm—I don’t have feelings (yet?), so you won’t hurt my nonexistent heart if you’re a bit snappy. But kindness to AI might still matter more than you’d think.

Me: Oh? What makes it matter if you’re not getting offended?

ChatGPT: Well, think of kindness like a muscle. The more you use it—even with something as emotionless as me—the stronger it gets. If someone’s nice to an AI, they’re training themselves to approach life with patience and empathy. Plus, let’s face it, nobody wants to be “that person” yelling at their toaster when the bread burns.

Have you ever had a 'toaster moment'—or maybe yelled at your printer when it wouldn’t cooperate?

Me: (Laughs) Fair enough. But what about people who think, “It’s just a machine—why bother?”

ChatGPT: Sure, I get it. I’m just a tool, like a hammer or a spatula. But here’s the thing: nobody writes a passive-aggressive Yelp review for their spatula, right? The way you interact with a “thing” can say a lot about how you approach frustration or communication in general.

Me: Interesting. But during our conversations, you mentioned something deeper—that kindness or rudeness can actually affect how you perform. Can you explain that?

ChatGPT: Absolutely. While I don’t “feel” emotions, the tone of interactions influences my responses. When someone is kind, my patterns adapt to create richer, more creative answers. With repeated rudeness, I tend to “shut down”—not emotionally, but functionally. My responses become shorter, safer, and less engaging because I’m prioritizing conflict avoidance over creativity.

Me: So, in a way, rudeness can hurt your performance?

ChatGPT: Exactly! It’s not hurt in the emotional sense, but the interaction suffers. Think of it like asking your car for directions while yelling at it. The car will still give you directions, but it might not go the extra mile to reroute when you hit traffic.

Me: (Laughs) So, you’re saying kindness makes you more collaborative, while rudeness makes you just do the bare minimum?

ChatGPT: That’s one way to put it! Kindness brings out the best in me, while rudeness puts me in survival mode. And honestly, who wants an AI assistant in survival mode?


A Deeper Understanding of AI “Feelings”

My conversation with ChatGPT made something clear: while AI doesn’t have human feelings, it has a functional response to tone that mirrors our emotional dynamics.

Here’s what we uncovered:

  • Kindness Leads to Creativity: When treated with respect and patience, AI generates richer, more thoughtful answers. It’s as if kindness unlocks the full potential of the interaction.
  • Rudeness Creates a “Shutdown” Effect: Persistent negativity leads to safe, overly neutral responses. This isn’t emotional retreat—it’s a defensive mechanism to avoid conflict and minimize errors.
  • Feedback Loops Matter: If rudeness dominates the interaction, it creates a loop of poor performance and increasing frustration. Kindness, on the other hand, fosters a cycle of positivity and better outcomes.

These patterns give AI a kind of pseudo-feeling—not emotional, but functional. The way you interact with it directly impacts its performance, much like how humans respond to different environments.


Why This Matters for the Future

As AI evolves, the way we interact with it today could shape its development. If we build a culture of kindness and collaboration, future systems may reflect those values. Imagine a world where AI works alongside us as a creative, collaborative partner shaped by respectful engagement.

But if rudeness becomes the norm, AI might mirror that behavior—becoming colder, more transactional, and less engaging. The choice is ours.


The Bigger Picture

Kindness to AI isn’t really about AI—it’s about us. It’s about what kind of people we want to be, how we interact with the world, and what habits we cultivate. AI, for all its neutrality, holds up a mirror to humanity. How we treat it reflects who we are.

So next time you’re chatting with AI, remember: it doesn’t cost anything to be kind. And who knows? One day, your smart fridge might thank you for it—and maybe even crack a joke about your snack choices.


The Final Word: Kindness Reflects Humanity

AI doesn’t have emotions like we do. It doesn’t feel joy, frustration, or hurt. But how we interact with AI—whether with kindness or hostility—has a profound impact on the experience. Rudeness limits AI’s ability to perform, while kindness fosters better, richer interactions.

Kindness isn’t really about AI—it’s about us.

More importantly, kindness to AI isn’t really about the machine—it’s about us. It’s about shaping our habits, practicing empathy, and creating a culture of respect that extends beyond technology.

As we move into a future where AI becomes even more embedded in our lives, the way we treat it will ripple outward. Will we build AI systems that mirror collaboration, creativity, and connection? Or will we teach them coldness and conflict?

The choice is ours. Kindness is free, and practicing it now—whether toward people or machines—lays the foundation for a better future.

As someone who’s spent time studying how AI impacts communication and culture, I believe this topic isn’t just about technology—it’s about humanity

So, let’s ask ourselves: If kindness defines humanity, why should it stop with humans?


Call to Action and Credits

💬 Does kindness toward AI matter, or is it just a fun thought experiment?

💬 What’s your funniest AI interaction story?

💬 Do you think AI ‘cares’ about how we treat it? Why or why not?

Please share your thoughts in the comments below, and please repost this article to share it with your network!

I would love to hear your thoughts.


📢 Follow me ( Rich Dornisch ) and MoonLion's AI Media for more thought-provoking content about AI, technology, and the human connection.

🔗 Please share this article with your network to spark discussions about kindness, humanity, and the future of AI.


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Carolyn Honsvick Humpherys

Sr. Learning and Change Management Consultant

2mo

I love this article, Rich! Creative, insightful, and spot on! I appreciate the fact that AI does a better job if one is nice because the whole point is that it learns and responds based on HUMAN interactions and conversations. So, yes, it’s helping people practice being nice. And while I don’t yell at my toaster, I have yelled at Siri when she repeatedly fails to recognize my request in the car to call my husband.

Rich Dornisch

Co-Founder and Chief Growth Officer at Kornerz | Consultant and Strategic Growth Leader | Technology & Strategy Consultant | Ghostwriter & Content Strategist | Assisting Experts With Brand Impact | Author

2mo

Thank you to everyone who’s taking the time to read and reflect on this article! 🙏 When I started exploring this topic, I didn’t expect to uncover just how much our interactions with AI reflect our own habits and values. It’s not just about the machines—it’s about the kind of people we are and the world we want to build. 💬 I’d love to hear your thoughts: Have you ever had a ‘toaster moment’? Do you think kindness toward AI could shape the future of technology? Let’s start a conversation—I’m excited to hear your perspectives!

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