A Simple Post's Reminder

Earlier this week, my wife and I celebrated our thirteenth wedding anniversary – marking the 20th year since we had begun dating. We each took to social media with obligatory Facebook posts, ensuring the world knows we are in love. I included a picture from our wedding day in that post (I’d guess just as the JP introduced us to the room as newly married, based on the look on my wife’s face). Lots of love and support followed from our friends online, along with a slew of teammates congratulating me in person.

The in-person congratulations were not for being lucky to have such a wonderful wife or for the tenure of our marriage. Nope, it was for something different - a part of me that feels from a lifetime ago.

I’ve had a pretty easy life, I’ll admit. I grew up in an incredibly loving and supportive home. Both of my parents worked hard and were incredible role models. I was never left wanting, provided all I’d ever needed along the way. My upbringing afforded me plenty of opportunities. I was also taught a killer work ethic and inherited solid instincts, which have helped me to make the right moves at the correct times to end up where I am today. My struggles were very much first world problems. With that out there, the three most challenging things I’ve done in my life have been:

• Quitting smoking.
• Losing a substantial amount of weight.
• Building, then exiting, a business after ten years of solid growth.

The kudos I received from my colleagues, about my Facebook post, was for the amount of weight I'd lost since that photo was taken. For each, I laughed and replied along the lines that the picture wasn’t even my “low point.” I proceeded to show them a photo from 2012, just after returning from a good friend’s wedding in New York. My wife and I got home and reflected on what a fantastic time we had. After seeing a picture a friend had shared, we had our oh shit! moment. We’d both realized that we had to do something about our weight. We banded together and got to work. Within a year, I’d lost 70 lbs which I’ve generally maintained since.

From the conversation, some key learnings were consistent across successfully quitting smoking, losing weight, and creating a successful business that allowed me to achieve success.

Desire

It would be best if you were ready (like, really, genuinely ready!). I had tried to lose weight many times before. I would go for a 20km bike ride, then celebrate with a cookie sheet full of nachos because I’d “earned it.” After a couple of weeks of exercise, I’d get frustrated, sad, then retreat to what was comfortable.

When I finally decided that I needed to lose weight, I looked at things through a different lens. I focused squarely on getting my diet and portion sizes under control. Months later, once I understood proper eating (for me), I introduced exercise to the mix. It wasn’t until I was mentally prepared to ascend that mountain that I was genuinely ready to start the journey.

Patience

No one sees results overnight. It takes a lot of willpower, persistence, consistency, and patience before you will see any dividends. That may take weeks, months, or years. It’s vital that you see this as a part of the journey. Along the way, you’ll have setbacks, hit plateaus, and see quick rises. Understand what’s working, but don’t be blind to the fact that what worked today won’t necessarily work tomorrow. That is, try to mix things up along the way.

I had weeks and months in my weight loss journey where I ate extremely well, ran 40-50kms per week, and couldn’t lose any weight. I’d tweak something small (maybe switching from oatmeal to eggs for breakfast) or would do nothing different at all, and I would randomly drop 5lbs. Remaining patient with a long-term vision helped keep me moving through the stagnant times, knowing that the results would come.

The old adage that Rome wasn’t built in a day is often forgotten while we struggle through a significant life change. We’re quick to look at others’ achievements without understanding the struggles along the way. Remain patient, and you’ll get there.

Support

It’s tough to take on any meaningful and long-term initiative without a great support system. Teammates, a partner, great clients – often a mix of those – will all help to keep you inspired and on track. For me, losing weight (and building a business) happened with my wife by my side. She helped dust me off when I fell, gave me a pep talk when I needed it, inspired me with her successes, and was there so I didn’t feel alone. Find your people, and don’t be scared to leverage them.

Nimbleness

Particularly once you get into things, you need to see opportunities for change and be willing to jump. Consistency will get you so far, but you’ll come to realize that you can tweak certain things where other parts just aren’t working for you. Don’t be scared to adjust along the way to ensure you keep on your path.

Change can often cause a bit of a re-awakening (see my oatmeal comment above) to help you see things that maybe seemed okay, but once you step back, you recognize that they’re holding you back. It took getting a great offer to sell in my business for me to step back and realize that I’d become bored with where we were. Once I recognized this, I had a different outlook on the opportunity, which ultimately led me to the acquisition.

Some tweaks will be massive, some just small. But don’t be scared to adjust when you see either an opportunity or something that isn’t quite working quickly.

Reflection

Give yourself the room to reflect. My weight loss journey taught me that some foods sit heavy with me for days, although I love them. As a result, I now only eat steak two or three times a year – it used to be something I’d eat 1-2 times per week.

In business, I often took the downtime of holidays to step back and reflect on our company's health. Only in these times did I have the clarity to recognize issues – teammates who were in a funk, clients who weren’t a good fit, parts of the business where we were leaking profit. When I was head-down working, I didn’t see these problems because I was 100% focused daily. When I gave myself the time to step back and breathe, I could see them crystal clear.

Now in my 40s and overrun with a busy family, I use running as my time and opportunity to reflect. Running is probably the only 5 hours through a week where it’s just me and my thoughts. It is amazing how many problems I’ve been able to solve during these sessions. Find your way to reflect and do it as often as you can.

--

Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAD) are essential to have, whether in your personal or professional life. You’re not going to achieve them all, but they keep you trying and focused. These do not have to be everyone else’s ideas (that is, not everyone needs a side hustle to be fulfilled); instead, they need to be meaningful and important to you. They need to be goals that keep you up at night, drive your passion, and whose outcome offers a clear benefit to you.

Along the way, be willing to hit pause if the timing isn’t right. Be ready to change course or walk away if it’s a fool’s errand. Don’t confuse these comments for giving up because it’s not happening fast enough; instead, if it’s just proving to be the wrong idea, the timing or approach may not be suitable.

Understand that you may have periods where things seem stagnant, where you need to keep your eye on the goal. Maybe you change things up a little bit to see if you can kick results back into action but keep with it so long as it’s moving in the right direction. A healthy amount of dreaming and stubbornness will help achieve results that you likely don’t see yourself capable of.

The last week has helped me remember that anything I’ve truly struggled with in life has taken much hard work to overcome. Breaking both habits and comfortable lifestyles is a mental battle but a requirement to forge ahead in a new direction.