Sit This One Out | #MyFridayStory No. 352

We will all suffer adversity in life. Whether it’s a long romantic relationship that ends or moving out of your family home, the sense of loss is real. A car accident, failing a final exam, falling ill and being hospitalised, a loved one dies, or your home is burgled—these kinds of incidents can happen in all our lives.

Then there is the state of our country, Mzansi. By most accounts we have a failing state with an Everest to summit if we want to fix it. We are in crisis mode as a default. Electricity. Water. Bridges collapsing. Road’s crumbling. Corrupt police. Gangsters and crime everywhere. It’s enough to cause an anxiety attack.

How about what is happening across the globe? We have an illegal invasion of a sovereign nation by a power drunk oligarch and his cronies—which has been all but been forgotten in the wake of the Hamas attack on Israel last year October. The war that ensued has been horrific, but such is war. You can’t start something and shout “No fair!” when you are losing the retaliation for starting it in the first place.

Still, everyone loses in war.

We can talk of the disdain we have for the planet we inhabit. Even in the space around Earth, in low lying orbit, millions of tons of discarded space junk floating around. Down on Earth, millions of tons of plastic make up the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. Plastic particles have been found in the Mariana Trench—the deepest part of our oceans, 10km below the sea surface. We are decimating the “lungs” of our planet—the Amazon and other forested areas—in favour of agriculture and human expansion. Our farming methods have depleted the nutrition in our soils greatly reducing harvests and yields.

With all this, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. In his latest book, “Life After Doom”, Brian McLaren gives practical and wise advice to anyone wanting to take on the world’s issues. He is candid about your involvement if you are struggling in any area of your life. He insists if you are going through any trouble or strife in your life to rather, “Sit this one out.” You don’t have to solve anything right now. Focus instead on what’s within your immediate grasp, what’s in your Circle of Control.

According to Steven Covey in his model explaining the Circle of Influence and Control, he outlines where we should focus our attention for the maximum results. Imagine your life as a set of three concentric circles. The outermost circle represents everything in the world that concerns you: war, climate change, economic shifts, or even how others treat you. The middle circle represents you circle of influence. That’s where you have some sway: the relationships, conversations, and decisions you make. Then, at the centre is your innermost power, your Circle of Control: your thoughts, your reactions, and your choices.

Arthur Ashe once said: Do what you can, where you are, with what you’ve got. I think regardless of what we have going on in our lives, we need to be able to say, “I’m sitting this one out.” It should not be said in a whimper, but boldly taking control of what you can, where you are with what you have got. Asking for a time-out is not admitting defeat, it’s a necessary intervention for your mental health and wellbeing.

Throughout my life, I’ve faced adversity on many occasions — so far, seems like I’m doing okay! I have been using the same Bible since high school. I have been making notes in the margins and down the sides since I started reading it. Over the years, the notes reveal what was happening to me at the time of reading. As someone who reads the Bible every night, every trial and tribulation, every victory and success is captured. When I look back at those notes, I’m reminded of what I have overcome and why.

When times were tough and I was going through challenges, I drew closer to God. He helped me focus on what is important at those times: My Circle of Control. I was allowed a “free-pass” on solving the world’s problems or anything out of my control. As I grew stronger and transformed into a more mature man of God, He empowered me to reach into my sphere of influence and beyond to do what I can with what I’ve got.

Microplastics in our water and space junk are beyond our immediate control. And while the potholes of Mzansi might make you feel “gatvol”, we’re not going to fix them overnight. But in our Circle of Control, the secret to managing anxiety and feeling overwhelmed lies in focusing on what’s achievable, one step at a time.

So, do what you can, where you are, with what you’ve got.

Have a great weekend and remember to be generous! 😄

As always, thanks for reading. 🙏

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