Smile dear working mum, you were made for such hard times

This year’s Mother’s Day has come at a time when we are all grappling with the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic.

It is a time when most working mothers are now working from home as a result of the measures being taken to combat the spread of the coronavirus.

This presents different opportunities and challenges for mothers as they juggle caretaker duties, taking care of the family, doing home schooling while completing work projects.

Others- especially those who are sole bread winners- and rely on everyday work to sustain their families are struggling to make ends meet owing to reduced job opportunities in both the formal and informal sectors.

Majority of those in business are struggling to keep their businesses afloat.

We recently saw the story of a Kisauni mother of eight who is widowed, boiling stones to keep her crying children hopeful that there is food and hopefully sleep as they wait. This depicts the lengths mothers can go to make their children comfortable.

With the increasing number of COVID-19 positive cases, we cannot predict how soon things will normalize.

What does this mean for us mothers?

In a work chatroom I have with some of my colleagues, a fellow mother was recently bemoaning the challenges of navigating a full workday while at the same time home schooling 3 young boys, all in different classes, and each with their own load of homework that they need mummy to assist with. Many of us are now realising that it can be quite a task working from home. So, how do you manage everything without losing your sanity?      

It is not easy to balance work and personal life. Many of us find ourselves struggling with what to prioritise especially when there are conflicting activities both at your workplace and at home. This leaves majority of working mothers in limbo which can be frustrating.

You may find yourself giving way too much at work and neglecting your personal responsibilities or vice versa. This can make you miss on a lot of opportunities such as career growth or family time.  

I believe work is part of life….an avenue granted to us to make our contribution to this world and ultimately in so doing, realize our purpose. I have found work-life balance a never-ending pursuit of perfection and have instead gracefully settled on work-life integration which allows me to bring all areas of my life together, and not focus on one part at the expense of the other.

Each part is integral in making me whole, and the more I find harmony in allowing

the seamless integration of the two parts, the easier it is to navigate and find fulfilment in each day. Bring the different areas of your life together in a way that they co-exist rather than trying to separate them.

As a working mother of two, this concept has worked well for me although it requires a lot of self-discipline and being intentional about how I run my day.

The first thing I have learnt is the need to plan your day in advance and where possible build a routine. This ensures that you are well aware of your day’s activities which prevents you from overwhelming yourself. Working from home does not mean you do not respect family time. If your normal working day runs from 8am to 5pm, ensure you maintain the same time schedule and do not allow work to creep into your family time.

Secondly, you are not a superhuman. As a working mother, it is important to appreciate that everything will not always work to your perfection – be at peace with that. Sometimes your kids will come running and interrupt a call with your boss. Just smile, integrate that into your call, and flow. Build a good support system that allows you to delegate what you don’t have to do. And be ok with the fact that you are doing the best you can.

Distractions are common especially when working from home. It is important to set your schedule and let the children know when it is time for you to work. Lock yourself in a separate room and get your work done.

Additionally, it is okay to say no. You do not have to take on every load. I know this can sometimes be difficult and you may want to do everything that you feel matters to you. However, I have learnt that delegating duties even at home is still okay. It doesn’t make you less of a mother.

Another thing is to set your boundaries. This is knowing what you can accommodate and what you can compromise on both at work and home. It by no way means neglecting your duties but it is about being open with your employer and your support system at home on your availability. This is about making sure that you are there for what matters most, be it your children’s prize giving day, sports day and at the same time finishing up on your projects.

Remember, work-life integration is about a win-win situation both at the work place and at home in a manner that keeps you mentally and physically healthy. It enables you to grow at a personal and professional level. It is possible. And while at it, remember to always carry yourself with confidence and a smile.

Finally, take time to unwind. I have found physical exercise a great way to unwind, and it comes with the great benefit of overall wellness. Be deliberate and always provide spare time at the end of each day or week where you can just relax by yourself and recharge.

As we celebrate Mother’s Day, remember to cheer yourself on. And as you hear the call of your child and your boss coming through at the same time, SMILE, because you are resilient and you are strong. You were made for this, you’ve got this!

Happy Mother’s Day!

First published in the Sunday Standard on 10th May 2020