SO YOU’RE HAVING A BABY: FORGET THE NURSERY! “PREPARE” YOURSELF!

In my various roles over the years – in the legal field, as a yoga teacher, as a mother, and as a doula-in-training (providing emotional and physical support to expectant/labouring & postpartum women) – I have had the privilege of witnessing the impact of pregnancy, birth and the postpartum from a variety of angles.

The pregnancy, birth and postpartum journey now carries with it a set of unique challenges. Many women wear the dual hat of primary carer, as well as primary or significant contributor to the household income. It is for this reason that I consider it critical for there to be more of a focus on work/career as a part of family, birth and/or postpartum planning; and more of a focus on pregnancy, birth and the postpartum as a part of work/career planning.

So, here is my recommended checklist for expecting mothers. I put “prepare” in quotation marks, as there is, of course, only so much that you can do to prepare. So much is ultimately out of your control. However, that said, there is a lot that you can do, to give yourself the best support possible for the journey ahead.

As you will see in this checklist, there is no mention of the nursery! Or for that matter, anything about items for your baby on the way either. As fun as it is to prepare those things, they are not, IMO, in your initial top priorities!

Between you and your baby, it is you my friend who will be hit most by all the changes. Your baby will be happy as long as they are loved, held, fed, warm. You, on the other hand, will need a great deal more in place in order to feel held and supported, to manage this transition – and to manage it well.

Thinking about all of the below will require you to think about your budget and how you want to allocate it. Does your or your partner’s workplace offer any paid parental leave? Do you qualify for the government’s paid parental leave scheme? What is important to you? What will cost money and what can you access for free or on the cheap?

So, without further ado, here are my top considerations,

1.    Movement, nutrition & supplementation plans. It goes without saying that pregnancy takes its toll on your body. And yet, the role of mother is one of the most physically demanding ones, that you will need to jump into straight after the birth. You want to put yourself in the absolute best position possible. How will you move your body throughout your pregnancy? How will you nourish it? When I did a bodybuilding competition many moons ago, the training regimen was diligently built to include not only the workouts, but nutrition and supplementation to support the workouts. This was all to get you to the main event, and support you in the recovery after it. When I went through my first pregnancy, I reflected on how similar the pregnancy, birth and postpartum journey was in some way. You are literally building a whole new human body, birthing that human, and then taking care of that new little human as well as recovering yourself. Unfortunately, you don’t get a pregnancy and postpartum training and nutrition program, or a postpartum recovery program, that factors in things as simple and as crucial as pelvic floor health. So, it is important that you think about how you can put this in place for yourself.

2.    Who will be on your healthcare team? Who will you choose to support you through your pregnancy, the labour and the postpartum. In my observation and experience, continuity of care is crucial. If you are going through the public system, and not through one of their coveted midwifery care group programs, you may wish to consider hiring a doula or a private midwife. If you are going through the private system with an OB, you may still wish to engage a doula or a private midwife. The OB will not ordinarily be present for the majority of your labour, and will ordinarily only have the 6 week postpartum check in with you. There is therefore, ordinarily, a lot of in between with different midwives.

3.    Pelvic floor check-ups. Book in a pelvic floor check up with a reputable pelvic floor physio 6 week before your estimated due date and 6 weeks after the birth. This individual specialised assessment can be instrumental in preventing long term issues. This is particularly important if you are planning a vaginal birth, as weakening in the pelvic floor occurs to a far lesser degree if you have a belly birth. The pelvic floor is a set of muscles that you don’t want to ignore. They hold up your bladder, uterus and bowel.

4.    Postpartum food planning and preparation. I highly recommend stocking up your freezer with nutritious meals, enlisting your friends and family with a ‘meal train’ plan, or getting a food delivery service in place for the first few weeks. This can provide you, your partner, any older children with good nurturing food, in those early weeks when everyone is tired and adjusting to life with the new bubba; but without the effort of actually grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning.

5.    Who is in your ‘village’? Spend time thinking about who will be able to support you in those early weeks postpartum. Does your family live close by? If not, can they come to stay with you for a time? IF you have a partner, can they access parental leave or negotiate greater flexibility in their working arrangements for a short time? How will you and your partner try to manage household work, commitments for older children, or conflict when it arises off the back of sleepless nights! If you can have these discussions before the birth, it will ensure that you don’t get into the situation of needing or wanting help, but feeling like you can’t ask for it.

6.    Work – when will you stop, how will you prepare for the transition out and when will you go back? In an ideal world, I think it is important to allow yourself time between wrapping up work and giving birth. Time to slow down, time to get out of work mode, and time to focus on self-care and preparation for the birth and postpartum. Similarly, in an ideal world, taking at least 3 months off work allows for optimal rest and recovery during what has become known as the ‘fourth trimester’. See, for example, Dr Oscar Serrallach’s work on postnatal depletion, and the long lasting impact that inadequate rest and recover can have on women. That said this is not always possible for women and their households. And therefore all the more reason to be as on top of the other items on this list as possible, to assist in the return to the workplace.

Supporting women and their families at this important time of transition is my passion. It benefits the women, their families, their workplaces and broader society as a whole.

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