So, you’re too good for Patience?

Yes, it’s August and many of you are either returning or leaving for your annual holiday. Usually, people around me would say: “oh, it’s that time of year when I relax, recuperate, give my body a break. Stop the gym, eat guilt-free carbs, drink to unwind, sleep more, reconnect with my partner and post the pretty pictures from a Greek taverna on Instagram.”

It seems we built around holidays this promised, yet concentrated capsule of a haven, far from the everyday stress, colleagues, deadlines, responsibilities and…let’s be honest, the life we consciously choose everyday, be it good or impoverished.

But I feel these past years have changed the game a bit.

On the one hand, I see people even more stressed during their breaks or using these time instead of refuge, as another way to check everything on their lists. These people never stop and yes, they never get to reach any level of peace or satisfaction.

On the other hand, many of my friends are feeling disoriented in life and holidays are just adding even more pressure to come up with an alternative solution for when they return.

Truth is we are all feeling that:

Times are definitely transforming. But there’s a catch to it: we have a very simple anchor to ground ourselves during transitions that stretch us to the max.

As I am writing this week’s message for you, I am in yet another series of acupuncture sessions to clear old somatic residual emotions from my body. This summer has definitely took a toll on me and prevented me from living optimised, as more longtime emotions have surfaced to be understood and released from my body. For me, this has been an intense, +2 year journey to heal (and yes, save) my body, that I feel is not yet finished. I could have gone crazy by now, but I am still here and yes, grateful for what I am going through.

What saved me during all this time? One of my best qualities: patience.

A word so deeply connected with the idea of time, but also to the transcendence of hurting (from Latin patientia - suffering; endurance, hurt), so ironic, isn’t it? Through patience, I kept going to all my treatments and endure the long time my body needed (and still needs) to go from pain to an optimal state.

I feel we women no longer have patience. To heal, to grow, to fall in love, to find the ways of being better, to build, to build wealth, to learn. Social media, instant gratifications, multiple options in anything, FOMO, dating apps, etc have all damaged our brains so much as we live in a constant state of “I want it now!”.

But, my dears, nothing that comes easily, fast, over night is to stay or create abundance in our lives. And everything is actually a process.

A recent study found more people are being diagnosed, especially adult women, narrowing the gap with men. The percentage of women newly diagnosed with ADHD between 23–29 and 30–49 years of age nearly doubled from 2020 to 2022. While males remain more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than females, the disparity has decreased over the past 12 years. The ratio of males to females diagnosed with ADHD decreased nearly five-fold during that time, from males being 133% more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than females in 2010 to 28% more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD in 2022. And it all comes down to….the value we give patience in our lives.

As a longtime believer in Patience, I can tell you we need it to:

• Live everyday more fully and at a regular pace. Don’t you want to enjoy life, and not burn yourself to the ground by mid 40’s? Worrying less does not have a magical treatment. It’s easy: don’t overcrowd your day with all the things you can do.
• Understand who we are and what our heart journey is. Don’t you want to choose wisely what you do instead of being delusional about doing it all at the same time? Life works in cycles and processes.
• Build a strong nervous system. Don’t you want to master those triggers of yours?
• Distinguish more clearly between what we need and what we think we need. Patience in experimenting with life around us, defining our values and how we want to build this journey.
• Learn things thoroughly in any field of growth we might experience. Do you want to be an expert, or a push-over from one field to another? Patience builds solid grounds that will always be hire-able, no matter the technologies ahead.
• Integrate healing practices and let the body regenerate at its own pace. No yogi practice shows lean muscles or mobility results for one-timers. No sleep hacks are helping if you are implementing 2 times after you watched a wellness podcast. The body gets sick in years, so you should heal it back with patience and waiting for each layer to unfold.
• Practice waiting and attracting instead of hunting and chasing in relationships, love, matrimony. Women have forgotten to wait. In nature, females wait and choose between the strongest males. Why do we need to chase our perfect mate through dating apps just to proclaim our so-called freedom and empowerment?
• Fill in your own reasons

So dear woman, I am whispering to you softly:

Do you have patience to cultivate patience?

Much of what we want for ourselves will be ready in months, years, maybe even decades. Nothing of great value has a weak construction. Nothing of strong foundations is built overnight. The key to a lot of the turmoil we are currently navigating is to stop and pace ourselves to a natural rhythm in life, work & career, relocation, learning something new, wait for a suitable partner, travel. There are seasons for everything and there’s a reason for it.

Change really begins when we stop and understand. Then, when we find the motivation in doing things differently as being greater than staying in the same (hurting) context. Then, step by step we research and implement new ways of being. Then, one day, those exercises become practices and then integrated routines. We then suddenly feel changed into a better, more authentic version of ourselves. For each of us, this process takes a different time. And yes, it needs patience.

Until next week, I wish you all to have patience with reading this message, with yourselves and most of all, with what life can actually become if you just…wait.

All my healing hugs,

Roxana.

#WomenAreHealing