Social Intelligence Tune-up: How to level-up your career and life with a social intelligence boost

By Veronika Lukyanchuck

Have you ever noticed how some people can effortlessly talk to anyone, or how others can easily win people’s buy-in and build long-lasting relationships?

These scenarios highlight the differences in individuals' abilities to communicate, get along, and relate to those around them. Just as we vary in technical and professional skills, we also vary in social proficiency.

Years of research and development have led to the recognition of this social competency as 'Social Intelligence.'

Social Intelligence is the ability to understand oneself and others, to grasp both your own and other people's emotions.

Lilia V. , Chief Information Security and Data Protection Officer at Forte Group, explains:

Social Intelligence is closely related to Emotional Intelligence. Curious about the difference? Let's break it down.

Social Intelligence is the ability to understand and navigate social situations effectively. It involves being perceptive about the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of others, and using that understanding to interact positively with them. Key components include:

• Empathy: Understanding and sharing the feelings of others.
• Social Perception: Reading and understanding social dynamics and situations.
• Adaptability: Adjusting behavior to fit different social contexts.

Emotional Intelligence, on the other hand, primarily concerns an individual's ability to recognize, understand, manage, and express their own emotions. Key components include:

• Self-Awareness: Recognizing and understanding one's own emotions.
• Social Awareness: Perceiving and understanding the emotions of others.
• Relationship Management: Using emotional information to navigate social situations, build relationships, and communicate effectively.

Developed Social Intelligence is truly a win-win, isn't it?

What are the essential skills to develop for honing social competency? Alla Lotovskaya , HR Director at Forte Group, shares her vision:

If you're curious about how it works, consider the following scenario: You work directly with a key client and do your best to build rapport. After you leave your job, that client provides decisive references, leading to a compelling job offer. This chain of events represents a best-case scenario, with both short-term benefits (e.g., the client provides clear requirements and responds promptly) and long-term benefits (e.g., the client gives crucial and decisive references resulting in a compelling job offer).

Now, consider another scenario: You neglect to build rapport with your manager. When it comes time to decide which employee to retain, the choice falls on the one who has demonstrated excellent soft skills. This chain of events, with its long-term outcome (the choice falling on the one with brilliant soft skills), represents a worst-case scenario, wouldn't you agree?

Iryna Chaban , L&D Lead at Forte Group, shares her insights:

The STAR approach

The STAR approach provides a simple yet effective framework for mastering self-management, a cornerstone of Social Intelligence.

• S - Stop: Pause and reflect.
• T - Think: Shift from a reactive to a proactive mindset.
• A - Assess: Approach challenges with clarity.
• R - Respond: Choose a thoughtful and intentional course of action.

The STAR approach can be helpful in various situations, such as:

• In a team brainstorming session when a colleague disagrees with your idea.
• In a client meeting when frustration arises about a service.
• In a meeting where a colleague criticizes your work.

So, how can you put it into practice? Stop and take a moment to think. Ask yourself questions like:

• Is my colleague trying to offend me?
• Why am I reacting this way?
• Does this concern my idea or me personally?

Assess all available options and only then respond.

We spoke with Mikhail Reutski, PMP , Product Owner at Forte Group, to get his perspective on handling heated discussions.

Have you ever wondered how to develop Social Intelligence? If so, the following ideas can make a significant difference.

Tap into Emotional Awareness

Emotional awareness involves understanding not just your own emotions, but those of others. Here's how to enhance it:

1. Observe Others
2. Embrace Empathetic Listening

Assertive Communication

Do you ever question whether your behavior and communication are assertive? High Social Intelligence involves being assertive, which means communicating directly and honestly without intentionally hurting anyone's feelings. Consider these statements:

• "You are always late" (a "You" statement)
• "I feel disrespected when you show up late because my time is very valuable to me. I want us to use our time well together" (an "I" statement)

"I" statements can significantly improve assertive communication.

Handling Disagreements

When disagreements arise, conversations can become heated. To keep things civil, focus on facts rather than emotions.

• Emotional Statement: "My meeting was a disaster because you didn’t deliver the report." This sounds like emotional speculation.
• Fact-Based Statement: "I wish you had delivered the report to me before the meeting, but I understand you’ve been swamped. I think we should work out a new schedule so we can support each other better." This statement is more to the point.

The Importance of Social Intelligence

The importance of Social Intelligence has recently come to the forefront. It is crucial not only for personal interactions but also for professional success, especially in leadership roles. The ability to bring people together, manage conflicts, and connect individually with others is key to success both in the workplace and in everyday life.

Leverage Social Intelligence as a boost for your career and life.