Sometimes, I Forget About Anxiety
I'm absolute shit at silence. Today, I'm in a room by myself for large chunks of the day. I'm here (in this building) to support colleagues, but as a coach, and not part of the action. And I have things to do. That's not the point. I just don't have an active narrative. Which means, I can think.
And thinking means I can worry. And worry means I can extrapolate. And oh right. Anxiety.
The Chemical Part
I haven't slept well the last two nights. Don't ask. It's self-inflicted. But sleep is a CORE chemical lever for depression and anxiety both. (It's okay. I'll get great sleep tonight.)
But let's put that aside. The chemicals just mean that I'm more primed to have to endure anxiety today.
The Thinking Part
Anxiety is one of those conditions where some of it is chemical and some of it comes from what you do with your brain cycles. You can stop and slow some of what brings anxiety about. (I'm talking clinical, not situational).
Thinking a lot can really feed anxiety. Well, thinking negatively. But who just sits around thinking positively. Weirdo.
I won't list out ALL the stream of thoughts in my head, but they're topics around my mother, around whether I'm doing a good job, whether I'll ever write a meaningful book again, worries that I'm wasting money on photography stuff, and on and on.
In short, you sure can think up a storm pretty easily. Especially in silence. I'm shit at silence. Alanis Morissette meant me when she sang that song. "Why are you so petrified of silence..."
Breathe. Set Up.
The way through anxiety is through getting your chemicals right, breathing, and then setting back up to operate. Box breathing. Setting up.
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You know when you drop something on the floor, like dinner? Stop. Take a breath. Reset. Set up. Reset is the Taylor Swift part. (Shake it off.)
Dial Back The Time Horizon
In most parts of life, having a far-seeing time horizon is useful. That's when you can see what's coming, how what you're doing now will impact things later on, and so on.
When it's NOT helpful is when you're enduring anxiety.
At those moments, dial back the time horizon. Focus on now. The next few hours. Maybe just today. Focus on the distance between you and bedtime. Or your next meal.
Just Some Thoughts From the Moment
I wrote this partly just as an observation for myself, but some of you might benefit from it. Especially if you don't have an anxiety operating system.
Get great sleep. Avoid sugar. Maybe go gentle on caffeine. (I'm not winning this right now.)
Then breathe. Set up. Work on what's now. Set boxes around time.
That's the recipe.
What do you think? Feel anxiety folks?
Chris...
Director of Rural Nursing and Allied Health Partnerships at Monash Rural Health | Placement partnerships | Supervision models | Health professions education
4moThanks, Chris - great post. Love the stuff about chemicals. I hate the 2am wake up when my brain loves overdrive and I worry about everything from whether the dog is cold in his kennel to the seven things I forgot to do the previous day. I try to calm it by replaying a book scene or TV episode in my head (something that already has a satisfying end).
Supporting your professional development in the real estate industry.
4moThis one really got me Chris. 😢 You have an amazing gift for being ‘in it’ while also being an observer of it. Thank you for the actionable advice.
Activator, catalyst for client change, soul-aligned certified pro coach.
4moThank you, Chris! Insight Timer can be a great resource (free mellow music and free guided meditations) so silence isn’t fully silent.
Intuitive Mentor | Tarot Reader | Book Shepherd | Poet
4moGreat insight from you, Chris and from others in the comments. Love the box breathing! I worry a lot, so this process looks really useful for me.
Ghostwriter | content marketer | humor writer. Co-author of Branding Yourself and No Bullshit Social Media. I interview experts and turn their words into books and blogs that make a positive difference.
4moI find that if I compartmentalize things and put little buffers of time between them, I can keep my mind from scattering. For example, there are days where I have to do three or four different things for three or four different organizations and clients. So when I leave one meeting to head to work, I listen to a podcast or to music in order to shut off the things in my head about what I just completed. When I get to the new location, I focus on the task at hand and make sure I took good notes and put all tasks into Todoist from the last thing. Then, at night, I watch some TV to shut it all down. I'm not one of those Type-A overachievers who has to do everything about work and improvement. When I tried that, I couldn't sleep. Now that I compartmentalize, buffer, and shut down, I sleep great, and I still get everything done.